Dating advice needed desperately...well

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Dating advice needed desperately...well
11
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 10:52pm

Hey all,

had to remove this thread for private reasons........

I have come to appreciate the women on this board and the advice and support that you give to me. This being removed had nothing to do with any members of this board. Please forgive me for acting so secretively, let's just say I don't want anyone to get hurt. That's all.

hugs
halo




Edited 6/29/2005 8:23 pm ET ET by halo_hvn

hugs

halo

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 11:19pm
I Dunno ((((halo)))) Perhaps you both are trying to hard? Or talking to much?.. Maybe lay back from the conversations for a

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 7:55am




Edited 6/29/2005 8:24 pm ET ET by halo_hvn

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 9:01am

halo I agree with cat. There is nothing worse than strained and superficial "how was your day? good. that's good. what do you wanna do? I dunno - what do you wanna do? hope you have a great day......" and so on and so forth yadda yadda yadda. Ugh.


I say try breaking the ice by having a game night (Trivial Pursuit or something that sparks conversation) with maybe another couple or some other friends there - if you can get her to commit to a date and time. Everyone will be chattering, and that could help y'all to find some common interests and topics to discuss in the future. Then you could

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 4:51pm
God,I am no expert....I can't keep a girlfriend so with that knowledge my two cents......you could talk to her about your phone conversations....and if you are both adults it may help the situation( I have never dated an adult ,well ok once,lol).I think if you talk to her about it would it maybe say to her???oh she wants more then to date?maybe not....and well maybe she is wondering why you have stopped asking when can we get together.I am very uncertain here.All people are different as is their perception of things.I am the type of person that if it really bothered me I would simply talk to her about it....that's just me personally.I know I have been no help,lol....but hey after losing my gf only a few days ago I give myself an "A" for effort anyway,lol......not even sure I ever want to date again....lol....best of luck and hope things work themselves for you.....J
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 5:16pm
Hello my pilot,
I know your situation all to well through our phone conversations. I think these ladies are coming up with some good advice.
However the protector in me thinks you should tell her to call if she cannot make the date instead of leaving you hanging until late so that you can not go about other plans. To me that is down right rude, selfish and unexceptable in dating. Once maybe, but 2, 3 or more times no way!
I would at least ask her to respect you enough to give you a call when she figures out she cannot make the commitment.
Like if you ask her out tell her to give you a call if something comes up so you can plan accordingly.
Other than that just keep it light and easy and see where it goes from here.
you don't have to talk to someone everyday if they are not wanting a commitment.
A simple goodnight call and how was your day chat is good.
To be honest, whenever I have told someone that I want to date but not commit that also meant not having to check in several times a day. Maybe if you don't answer a few of her calls it will give her something to talk about, lol. Kidding!... Sort of...
Or don't call her until that goodnight call. That way you might have the whole day to talk about.
She might not be a big phone talker like we said the other night.
It is so early in the dating phase, just don't let bad habits continue.
And remeber you can always call me to vent!


Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 7:11pm
I agree with laurie on a few points,when called at the last minute by even my friends or not called at all(god I hate that!!!!!),then I also would be kind and make plans but say let me know if something comes up and well maybe she is right about accidently not answering your phone on purpose.I hate resorting to games like "the not answering my phone thing" but hey dating is survial of the fittest at times I think....who knows....I can't get things firgured out...some ladies like to be chased,others like to chase...I get really baffled,lol....hopefully my next one will be up front,honest and to the point ...well actually no hopefully to it,I kind of demand that at this point.....I think laurie has some great ideas,as does the others .....Have a good one,best of luck,J
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 8:44pm

hugs
halo


Edited 6/29/2005 8:25 pm ET ET by halo_hvn

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 8:48pm

hugs
halo




Edited 6/29/2005 8:25 pm ET ET by halo_hvn

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 9:14pm
That is another good spin on it Laurie..

She might not be a big phone talker like we said the other night.

I myself am not always (most of time) a lover of phone conversation. That's why I shy away from calling friends a lot or people I meet on here..

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 9:42am


Halo - the only thing to do right now is to talk to her about it. If you are feeling like that open yourself and explain to her how you feel!

Angel

Pages