Does it ever end?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Does it ever end?
6
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 4:44pm

Okay, some of y'all know a little bit about my brother's history (criminal rap sheep about 137 miles long).


He recently bonded out of jail (again), this time in Galveston. Grandmary (my grandmother) posted (cosigned)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 6:05pm
Wow! Beth, so sorry to hear this again.
I have a cousin much like your brother. Last time he really did it. Aunt and Uncle told him they had had it and were not able to pay any more bonds. They let him sit in prison for 20 years.
Sometimes they just need to stop enabling him. I think they will eventually throw in the towel and let him deal with his own consequences.
Since my cousin has been out he has not been in trouble that we know of. But, he is in his 50's now and lives on a boat in Florida. So who knows what he does. He still calls me once in awhile as we were close as kids.
I just think your brother will keep it up until they stop getting him out.
Maybe there is something you could say to them to help them to see this.
They need to just tell him they are out of money to help him. (Before they take out a mortgage on the house as my Aunt and Uncle did only to get screwed again.
Well, try to remember you cannot change anybody, they all have to make their own decisions and live with the consequences. Eventually the bond will be so ridiculously high they won't be able to get him out.
I hope you can relax a bit but, I do know it is difficult.
I really am sorry for you and your family having to go through this.
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 7:24pm

Oh my goodness, are you sure that is YOUR brother??
I got one just like it. I have told my mom over and over
she has got to stop bailing him out. He will never learn.
He has actualy cost her homes and relationships because of
all his issues.

Sorry to hear about this....it is one situation I
have no idea how to deal with.

Lea

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 7:56pm

Geez! (((((Beth)))) although your Mom and GrandMom love your brother they would be showing better love for him by stopping to enable him.. I can see them doing so once or maybe even twice... but enough is enough!.. Sorry but I can't say I feel deeply sorry for their loss if they keep doing it knowing he will run.. Poor you.. Well ya know Hon.... just do your best.. Keep your stuff going and although he's your brother and you love him some how... somewhere.. you still gotta take care of Beth and her life.. Your not going to do him any good worrying yourself to the core.. He's not worrying about any of you all... Sorry your going through this..
((((((((((Hugs Hon)))))))))))


((((Hugs))))


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2005
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 9:12pm

I wasn't going to comment on this at first. I usually don't like to comment on family issues in which I don't know the person or their family well enough to say the proper thing. I fear of hitting a nerve or pushing a button.

But, I can do this...

((((((((((((Beth)))))))))))))

I know little about rap sheets or bonds. If you had mentioned rap sheets to me outside the context of this post, the first thing that would have come to mind would have been rap music. That is to illustrate how much I know about that subject matter.

I feel more comfortable typing about what I do know. I do know that I don't like see you sad. I hope that things do get better soon.

I'm an only child. I do not know what it is like to have a sibling. I cannot give you advice in regard to your brother. I can tell you that from what I've seen of you on this board you seem like an intelligent woman who can take care of herself. Use that to your advantage and do what is best for you. I think deep inside you know the proper solution for yourself.

I'm glad you got this out in the open. It can be quite stressful to bottle things such as this up inside.

I am followed by a man who is employed at WalMart often. Each time I visit WalMart, I forget he is there and he suddenly approaches me. Usually another employee from WalMart comes to rescue me by telling him he has a customer who needs help. He always gives me TMI.

Well, if it isn't him, then it is some old man wanting a hug. Yeah, at Wally World, you can getcha ya a Big Mac and a date.

"Honey, I can't believe you are here all alone." Old man in Wally World exclaims to me. I began to hear the theme song from JAWS play in my head. And, all I saw were dentures.

(((((((Beth))))))))

andie
Save paper and read my blog
http://androgenous-girl.blogspot.com/

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 3:13am

Aww Beth *massive hugs*


I had a cousin who pulled crap like that. Eventually his bonds got so high that the family couldn't help him anymore and he had to go to jail. It's a horrible thing. Here you love this person and want to do whatever it takes to keep them from ugly situations... but they don't care for themselves enough to AVOID the trouble in the first place..

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 1:19pm

((((((((((Beth)))))))))


I'm not sure it ever does end unless a "tough love" approach is taken. I'm so sorry you're experiencing stress and heartache over your brother's behaviors. Sounds like we all have one or two like that in our lives. I have two cousins who have been through much of the same thing and have put their mother through pure Hell at times.


My parents and I so wish their mom would throw up her hands and say "I'm done!"


Hugs and hope he will get some help soon!