Hello phoenixmama, do you remember me? I used to post at the Bisexual Issues board. Anyway welcome. I will be brief in tell you about my coming out story. Well when I was 5, I knew I was different, but I couldn't find the word for what I am: a lesbian. As I grew up, I've learned about what being a lesbian is all about. As I got older and graduated from high school, at 18 years old. I came out to myself. Then after a while down the road, I came out to my mom and step father. Well, my step-father accepted it, but it took my mom a while, but in the beginning, she was very angry and she and I didn't talk about it that much. But as time past, she began to accept me as I am. Now today, she tolerates it, but I know that I can talk to her if I'm having a problem in my relationship. But I don't go to her all the time.
But, as time has gone by, I have learned that I'm okay as I am, and there's nothing wrong with what I am. So please come back and enjoy this community of friendly women. We are very supportive of each other, and we care about you as well.
Welcome back phoenix! You have posted here before, awhile back.
The coming out process can be just as much a transitional phase for your family as it is for you. As Caly mentioned, you may face many questions - especially if your folks are as conservative as you've described. Would it be possible to have your two cousins and sister there with you when you spill it to your parents? That may be a good idea - to have a little moral support, and backing if need be.
My own coming out happened over a period of about 20 years. I don't think I even told my mom - she just asked me point blank one day if I was gay, and I said "yep", and that was that. No further questions. So - I guess you could say I got lucky!
Best of luck on your trip, and I do hope that you come back and give us an update! And congrats on finding a wonderful woman!
Hi Phoenix and Welcome... I haven't much advice to offer you,except be yourself.. Be true to yourself and if they care about you (your family) eventually.. if not right away they will come around.. I was always pretty much a
Thanks all for your stories & input. It's always nice to know there are people who understand. :)
So today is the big day, we're having kind of a slow morning trying to motivate & get our stuff together. But we've been talking about it so we're on the same page with everything, and just trying to envision the best possible outcome, that they've already come to terms with the possibility, and will meet her openly and see what I see in her, and see how comfortable and happy we are together. Worst case scenario we're prepared to leave if it comes to that, but I really don't think it'll be THAT bad. Most likely the news with be met with mixed reactions somewhere in between... we shall see. I'll definitely be back to post a follow-up. :)
So, it didn't exactly go the way I'd planned, but it turned out great. We simply arrived, did the introductions & all hung out. My girl and my parents got to know each other a bit, and of course they got to see how fabulous she is with my son & how much he likes being around her. We set up a tent and camped in the backyard, broke away after breakfast for a little hike in the metroparks, and met up again at my uncle's BBQ. She got to meet my brother & sister & their SO's, along with the cousins on that side of the family. Everyone seemed to like her pretty well (she is very likeable after all!) The whole time it was like an unspoken don't ask don't tell policy... which was fine with me for now. My brother and sister know. I don't know how much gaydar runs in the family, but I really think you'd have to be completely obtuse & clueless to not see it. One of the nice key moments was when my mom (the queen of group pictures) gathered me & bro & sis & DS on a bench swing... took that pic and brought the SO's over. She summoned my brother's fiancee and my sis's BF, then I summoned my girl "come on, you get in on this too".
My mom had a nice Freudian slip Sunday evening... she's got these plastic kid spoons with characters from Indian in the Cupboard (remember that movie?) So she says Indian in the Closet... oops, I mean whatever, cupboard... yeah haha the one about the gay Indian... We all just laughed at the slip but that's it. Maybe I'm a little chicken this time, but I suppose there'll be plenty of time to get the rest of the story out there. I do believe they suspect, but maybe they're not ready to know just yet. Anyway we all had a good time and that's the important thing. They got to meet her without those preconceived ideas of her "role", just her personality. :)
That was a sweet story, and welcome to the board. My two cents says that there is no written rule that says you have to come out to anyone. I believe people see it in us anyway and they definitely know who your in love with! I never have hid it, and my parents never asked. Don't ask don't tell worked great for us. They never denied me my friends and loved everyone I brought home. We never had bad karma and my brothers and sisters basically knew anyway!
It all comes down to what you feel is best and what the right timing is for you. It will all happen in good time...
Hi there!
Welcome to the board.
aka
Hello phoenixmama, do you remember me? I used to post at the Bisexual Issues board. Anyway welcome. I will be brief in tell you about my coming out story. Well when I was 5, I knew I was different, but I couldn't find the word for what I am: a lesbian. As I grew up, I've learned about what being a lesbian is all about. As I got older and graduated from high school, at 18 years old. I came out to myself. Then after a while down the road, I came out to my mom and step father. Well, my step-father accepted it, but it took my mom a while, but in the beginning, she was very angry and she and I didn't talk about it that much. But as time past, she began to accept me as I am. Now today, she tolerates it, but I know that I can talk to her if I'm having a problem in my relationship. But I don't go to her all the time.
But, as time has gone by, I have learned that I'm okay as I am, and there's nothing wrong with what I am. So please come back and enjoy this community of friendly women. We are very supportive of each other, and we care about you as well.
Friendly hugs!
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Welcome back phoenix! You have posted here before, awhile back.
The coming out process can be just as much a transitional phase for your family as it is for you. As Caly mentioned, you may face many questions - especially if your folks are as conservative as you've described. Would it be possible to have your two cousins and sister there with you when you spill it to your parents? That may be a good idea - to have a little moral support, and backing if need be.
My own coming out happened over a period of about 20 years. I don't think I even told my mom - she just asked me point blank one day if I was gay, and I said "yep", and that was that. No further questions. So - I guess you could say I got lucky!
Best of luck on your trip, and I do hope that you come back and give us an update! And congrats on finding a wonderful woman!
I was always pretty much a
C >^. A .
Thanks all for your stories & input. It's always nice to know there are people who understand. :)
So today is the big day, we're having kind of a slow morning trying to motivate & get our stuff together. But we've been talking about it so we're on the same page with everything, and just trying to envision the best possible outcome, that they've already come to terms with the possibility, and will meet her openly and see what I see in her, and see how comfortable and happy we are together. Worst case scenario we're prepared to leave if it comes to that, but I really don't think it'll be THAT bad. Most likely the news with be met with mixed reactions somewhere in between... we shall see. I'll definitely be back to post a follow-up. :)
So, it didn't exactly go the way I'd planned, but it turned out great. We simply arrived, did the introductions & all hung out. My girl and my parents got to know each other a bit, and of course they got to see how fabulous she is with my son & how much he likes being around her. We set up a tent and camped in the backyard, broke away after breakfast for a little hike in the metroparks, and met up again at my uncle's BBQ. She got to meet my brother & sister & their SO's, along with the cousins on that side of the family. Everyone seemed to like her pretty well (she is very likeable after all!) The whole time it was like an unspoken don't ask don't tell policy... which was fine with me for now. My brother and sister know. I don't know how much gaydar runs in the family, but I really think you'd have to be completely obtuse & clueless to not see it. One of the nice key moments was when my mom (the queen of group pictures) gathered me & bro & sis & DS on a bench swing... took that pic and brought the SO's over. She summoned my brother's fiancee and my sis's BF, then I summoned my girl "come on, you get in on this too".
My mom had a nice Freudian slip Sunday evening... she's got these plastic kid spoons with characters from Indian in the Cupboard (remember that movie?) So she says Indian in the Closet... oops, I mean whatever, cupboard... yeah haha the one about the gay Indian... We all just laughed at the slip but that's it. Maybe I'm a little chicken this time, but I suppose there'll be plenty of time to get the rest of the story out there. I do believe they suspect, but maybe they're not ready to know just yet. Anyway we all had a good time and that's the important thing. They got to meet her without those preconceived ideas of her "role", just her personality. :)
That was a sweet story, and welcome to the board. My two cents says that there is no written rule that says you have to come out to anyone. I believe people see it in us anyway and they definitely know who your in love with! I never have hid it, and my parents never asked. Don't ask don't tell worked great for us. They never denied me my friends and loved everyone I brought home. We never had bad karma and my brothers and sisters basically knew anyway!
It all comes down to what you feel is best and what the right timing is for you. It will all happen in good time...
hugs
halo
hugs
halo
Sounds like a perfect way to handle it!
aka