Meeting girls on-line - please help?
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Meeting girls on-line - please help?
| Fri, 07-15-2005 - 12:39pm |
I really want to meet some girls on-line since I live in very rural areas, both when I'm at college and when I'm at home on break. I don't want to pay for a membership with my credit card on a dating site, though, since my parents pay my credit card bill. My friend Anthony has offered to pay for a monthly membership for me, which is very sweet of him, but I'm not sure why he wants to do it. He has a girlfriend of his own, and I sort of suspect that he thinks that if he pays for the membership, he will get to watch some action if I actually meet any of the girls. I asked him if he wants me to pay him back for the fee of the dating site, but he said of course not. I'm afraid to ask him why he wants to pay for the membership, but I definitely don't want him involved in any of my relationships with other girls. I'm looking for a serious, committed relationship with a girl, and I don't want a guy involved. Plus, I don't want to jeopardize his relationship with his own girlfriend. Anyway, maybe I'm just being paranoid and silly, but I just wondered if anyone had any advice for me? I really want the membership, so I'm very tempted to take him up on his offer, but I don't want to feel like I owe him anything for it.

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Welcome Pinkstar84, my name is Gigi.
If I might ask, are you and your male friend's, girlfriend (try saying that three times fast, lol) friendly with each other? Maybe you can ask her for her help. That way you won't have to worry about him nosing in on your personal business, and not having unnecessary complications between the two of them.
And if Anthony is a good friend, ask him why he wants to pay for it? Instead of sitting in wonder, just ask.
Any way, welcome to Lesbian Life. And I hope that you come back and hang out with us.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Wellll.... my two cents is, explore
Hi! It's nice to meet you, and thank you very much for replying to my post! I definitely appreciate the warm welcome. I really do hope to get to know all of you better on the board.
I actually have never met Anthony's girlfriend, I have only seen pictures of her. He won't let me meet her, and he's implied that she would be jealous of me. I'm not sure why she would be jealous of me since I'm looking for a girl to date and I don't have any interest in Anthony other than friendship. He and I have known each other since I started college. Even if I could find a way to contact her, he'd probably be upset because she obviously doesn't know about me. I can't figure out why he is hiding me from her.
You are right that I should just ask him about his intentions. I guess that I just can't shake the feeling that he has some kind of threesome or something in mind - not with me and his girlfriend, but with me and the girl he hopes I'll meet on-line if he pays for the account. I definitely don't want anything like that. I'm not looking for one night stands or anything like that. I'm definitely looking for a committed, serious, loving relationship with another girl. I guess that I should make that clear to him.
I'm sorry to ramble on and on, but I'm just so confused. I'm nervous about looking for a girl on-line anyway, and this situation with Anthony just confuses me even more.
Thanks for the warning about women seeking women who want a third person to share with their boyfriend or husband. Just the thought of that makes me blush! I can't imagine sharing such an intimate moment with more than one person. I know that probably sounds really naive and silly, but it's how I feel. If I had a girlfriend that I really cared about, I can't imagine sharing her with someone else, and I would hope that she would feel the same way about me.
Do you think it's possible to have a relationship like that - where you don't want to share each other with other people and you just want to be together? I really hope so.
Welcome to the Lesbian Life board.
I am not sure that I can think of anything else to add to the advice already given here.
I hope you will feel free to hang out here with us too. It is a good place to get support, advice and build friendships.
Also some of the women on this board have become couples. I think it is nice because you get to know each other here first.
Anyway do try the free personal ads first to see what happens.
Keep us posted and maybe ask your guy friend if there are any strings attached if he pays your monthly bill.
I hope we see you around more often.
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://didoangst.blogspot.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hi and Welcome Pink... The others gave you some good advice..
I'de like to add..If you and Anthony have been friends for awhile now, I was wondering? Has he displayed this type of behavior ,that your mentioming (about a three some) before with you? I mean it's something I would think you both have or may have talked about.. If I were you I'de just come out and point blank ask or tell him..If you let me use your card I am not going to do such and such and if thats in with the deal (Forget it!)..If he's a
C >^. A .
gives him leverage in making you feel bad...anyway.....
for the online I would check some free things....my ex wrote me at planetout where I was not a memeber.....it came striaght to my email box...at yahoo....i have had some people to talk to and things at gay.com....not paid at either two of these....myself I have sworn off on-line dating....I still make friends on here....but I had rather see someone in public and want to talk to her....see that she wants to talk to me......on-line usually one of the people is more attrached /one is less....I too am in a small town and wanted to broaden my horizons ,...yet it is easy to be shady for people on-line yet it is in real life these days too..........hey I make no sense....but my excuse I just woke up....be careful and the best of luck to you....we are always here to lend an ear.....Jo
IMO, looking for a relationship is the hardest way to find oneself in one. We each make our own choices in that regard, and in mine, I stay out of it altogether... but methinks the best way for most to go is through community building, friendships... over time people who intereact start seeing commonalities, take interest, etc... and get to know each other... half the time they aren't even thinking partner until it's in their faces. I know many who have met this way... anyway, places such as this board are free, and there are great women here...
What's the use in regrets
They're just thing we haven't done yet
What are regrets?
They're just lessons we haven't learned yet
Pass In Time ~ Beth Orton
worlds undone
Thanks for the warm welcome and for replying to my post. I definitely appreciate your kind words. I'm planning on talking to Anthony, and I'll definitely keep everyone updated about the situation.
I think it's awesome that some of the women have met here on the boards and become couples. It gives me hope. I know that I need to just relax and enjoy making friends instead of looking for a girlfriend, though. I need to have faith that when the right girl comes along, I'll know.
Anthony has mentioned the idea of a threesome to me on a couple of occasions, but I had thought he was joking. I never can tell with guys, though. I am definitely going to talk to him, though, and if he is willing to pay my monthly bill, that's fine, but I don't want him to expect to be involved with me and anyone that I might choose to meet. Especially if his girlfriend would be kept in the dark about all of this. I don't think it would be fair to her if I helped him do something behind her back.
That would be pretty funny if Anthony were worried about me stealing his girlfriend from him, but I would never do that to him! *haha*
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