Feeling A Little Blue Today
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| Thu, 07-28-2005 - 9:33am |
Morning ladies,
Just feeling the need to vent this morning. I know most of you don't know me very well. I don't post often, usually I just lurk and keep up with everyone elses lives.
I am feeling yucky today. Nothing seems to be making me happy lately. I posted a few weeks ago about my gf and her financial woes and received some excellent support from you guys. Thanks so much.
Well, as some of you know we talked but nothing has changed. In a nutshell, she simply doesn't have the money to pay me what she said she would. She even asked me to co-sign a personal loan for her but I told her no! I felt bad about it but I am not getting into that type of responsibility with her. I love her but I am just not feeling real good about our long term future. We have been through so much the last 14 months. It has been very, very difficult. She says the past is the past and we need to forget about it and move on. I agree but I think a lot of damage has been done and how do you repair it??
I am sorry for being such a downer this morning but I needed someone to talk to. I am feeling pretty lonely these days and I can't figure out why. I have this woman who thinks I walk on water, loves me so much but yet I am feeling a little lost. WHY is that?
Thanks for listening!

Know what, lovetworead?
I think you have a very well-founded fear/worry about the way your gf handles money. You shared your concern and gave her a chance to right things.. but unfortunately, the results sound less than stellar. Don't beat yourself up or feel guilty over it. You've handled this beautifully.
But, I believe you're at a decision-making point right now. How much of yourself do you want to invest in this relationship? Answering this question needs a deep look at future goals and asking, 'do you both support the same goals?' Financial security is a huge thing to most couples.
Anyway hon, your heart will direct you to the right answers. I have faith you both will figure out where you best need to be. In the meantime, don't be lonely.
Come in here and play with us more often!
I can definitely sympathize with how lost you're feeling. You sound as if you feel guilty for not co-signing this loan. It's hard, when you're someone who hates to say "no", especially to someone you love. I also get the feeling that you almost feel responsible for this woman - even if you did the right thing by not signing that loan. I can feel the forlorn and concern in your words, and I am glad you felt that you can come here to vent. Please don't feel as if you're a "downer". Trust me, many of us come here for advice, support, and sometimes - just a shoulder (or two or 10) to cry on. I wish that I had some great words of wisdom or could at least tell you how to fix this, but we have many other members here who could probably do much better than I in this case.
Big (((((((hugs)))))))) and gentle wishes for happiness your way.
Last Night I got really down and I know how you feel right now.
You made the right decision not to co-sign for the loan. Sounds like your partner needs to see someone who can do a Financial Needs Analysis and show her how she can reduce her debt, to free up the cash she needs to pay you. There really is no need for people with two incomes to be having financial difficulties. E-mail me and I will find someone in your area who can help you with her. If the money was not the issue, what would your relationship be like? You can't change what has passed, but you can change what the future holds for you both! Best of luck,
hugs
halo
hugs
halo
Thanks so much for your kind and supportive words. You all are so great.
You are right when you say financial security is very important to me. I spent a lot of years supporting my husband and kids when his business wasn't doing well. As a parent I know that is ultimatly my responsability and I will continue to do it. However, when my gf and I got together we had this plan on how things would progress and how we would BOTH chip in and make things work, so when that didn't happen, it was a huge downer for me. I am tired of being the one who has to take care of everyone all the time.
Now, in her defense, she has been going to a lot of job interviews to find a better paying job and is going to school to make things better for us. She will graduate with her Masters in Business in May. She does have goals that include the both of us. She's a hard worker and is absolutely positive she will turn things around. She wants to take care of me. She wants me to be able to not have to work. Her heart is in the right place.
Maybe I am just being too impatient! I should have a little faith, right??
C >^. A .