Camping & sister envy - any advice??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Camping & sister envy - any advice??
7
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 12:11pm

Hi everyone! I am going camping with my old riding instructor this weekend, and we are going to take a couple of her horses. It should be a lot of fun! I'm a little nervous, though, because I haven't ridden since my horse died a few years ago. I still really miss him and I didn't want to ride for a long time, but now I feel like I might be ready to get back into it. My parents won't buy me another horse, though, because it scared them when I had the riding accident (I didn't get hurt, but my horse had to be put down), but when I'm done with college, I might be able to buy my own horse. Anyway, this is all just kind of speculation, but I guess I'm just worried that riding will make me miss my horse.

Also, my sister is home from Washington DC for a week. She is getting ready to go to law school in a few weeks. She's 24. I always get nervous when she is home because I feel like she is so much prettier and thinner than me. I'm thinking about driving into town today and buying some Hydroxycut at the pharmacy. (Hydroxycut is an over-the-counter diet pill.) It's kind of expensive, but usually the more expensive diet pills work the best, so I'm hoping it will help me lose weight. (My anti-depressants made me gain ten pounds that I want to get rid of.) Anyway, I just feel like my sister is so much more successful than me, even though she's older and I haven't really had a chance to do a lot of the things that she is doing yet.

Sorry for all the rambling - is anyone else in a similar situation with the sister envy? What can I do to get over it? Also, does anyone have any good weight loss tips or any favorite diet supplements? Thanks! I hope that you all are having a wonderful week! Love to everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 12:38pm


Well, as you have said it, "I feel like my sister is so much more successful than me, even though she is older and I haven't had the chance to do a lot of things that she is doing yet".

You haven't reached that point in your life, to do more things to get to where you want to be. Success comes in its own time. And we all have to learn the many lessons it takes to get to that place of success. It's understandable to feel envious, but you are able to do anything that you set your mind to. Self acceptance and self-esteem go hand in hand here.

As always take it easy, and learn some lessons along the way to your success.

Hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


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Avatar for mschiffven
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 4:35am

weight loss is something you do for yourself not to compete with someone else! If you go into this with the wrong attitude you will end up doing yourself no end of harm and THEN you will have everyone saying.. "her sister would never have done anything like this...." also THIN is not necessarily pretty.... so lets be sensible about this.
First you need to calculate your ideal weight and work out how much you need to lose. Then work out what your calorie intake for each day should be. The secret to losing weight is eating less calories than you burn. There are NO quick fixes, no short cuts- it takes work and a committed attitude.

My parents always thought my sister was so much better than me, she was better at school, had more friends, dressed better yada yada... but I never wanted to be like her at all and just never cared. I always saw myself as individual, a separate entity and never made the comparisons myself.

Have fun horse riding, be careful and its ok to miss your horse- its natural.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 10:32am

Hi Pinky! Everything Ven said. Your health is not worth risking over this type of cometition (or anything, for that matter!). I am sure that the comparisons are only in your mind - noone else's. Don't do the diet pill. Not only are the over-the-counter ones extremely risky, they really affect your mood and could possibly have a bad outcome if mixed with your antidepressants. Ask your dr for the best weight loss program for you, if you really do feel that you need to lose a few.


Also, let us know how the horse riding went! I love riding horseback!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 1:21pm
Well, I am the oldest sister by 3 years. I have always been proud of my sister. We have always been very close.
She has a great life. She and her DH make alot of money, they have a big fast ski boat, and an awesome house and great jobs. They always include me or invite me to come play with them etc. I never lost my sister I gained a brother.
We just went in different directions as far as our lives went. I don't envy her but I think she is a great sister and I have always been proud of her.
Of course being the oldest I was ahead of her in life so that just made sense that I would have things or be something before her. But she has done a great job of catching up and even surpassing me a bit.
I just feel comfy where I am. The only thing I would change is what I wrote about in the "What would you choose" thread.
I am dark haired, with dark eyes, she is blond haired with blue eyes. She is still very thin, I like you have put on some weight since being on medications.
But I find I can lose weight by exercise and cutting down on portions and eating sugar free and staying away fron to many carbs. (not crazy like the Atkins diet.)
I found diet pills to be to dangerous for me as far as making my heart beat to fast and giving me a head ache.
Eat many small meals a day too, instead of a few or one large one.
Enjoy your sister and turn that envy into positive energy to help yourself. You will be fine when you start to accept yourself and like yourself more.
Hugs,
Laurie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 12:16am

Sweet child never make the mistake of living your life in someone else's shadow!

You have your own life, your own path to follow. Live your life to the fullest pleasure. Learn to love yourself and you won't have to worry about looking like anyone else.

What are your dreams, what do you want to be? Success is not how many degrees or educated you are and it's not how many toys you play with or how much money you make! Success is measured IMHO by how you feel about yourself. Your sister looks successful because she is following her own dreams and she's happy.

Last week you were fearful that you wouldn't pass your driving test. I told you to look 20 years into the future and think back to the day you passed. You were successful in passing your driving test and soon you will be walking across a stage to get your high school diploma correct?

Please don't measure your life against other people. I tell my children all the time, don't worry about each others boat, worry about your own and make sure it doesn't sink!

I come from a family of five children, four girls and one boy. If I listened to every person who called me stupid, or told me I would never amount to anything, or that girls can't play ball; I surely would have failed if I didn't have the courage to act on my own. When I coach young people, I will always tell them don't buy the lie, especially if your selling it to yourself! You have to believe in you and love who you are. When you achieve this, then you don't have to run to the store to lose weight and you won't have time to envy your sister.

Now hold on, here's the real kicker for you. I was the one who graduated from college and I became a helicopter test pilot in the United States Army. When I was out doing my thing, I never once looked back over my shoulder to see what my siblings were doing. Each one had their own life to live. I was pursuing what made me happy and they were doing what made them happy. I never thought that I was better then them. As time went on, they became very jealous of me and of the attention I received whenever I came home on leave. I never felt sorry for them because each one made their own choices. At any given time they could have done something to improve their situations. They never understood that their happiness was within their own control.

I'm tired and I'm rambling on...Please know this, "You are going to do great with your life".

hugs
halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 8:51am

I remember feeling the way you are feeling.

Kim
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 11:31pm

I don't have a sister to envy, but I can relate to the weight gain. My antidepressant and/or moodstabilizer have made me gain about 20 lbs in the last 6 months.

I also love to camp and will be going in a week.

Have a good time

Amethyst