What does a lesbian bring ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
What does a lesbian bring ...
19
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 12:16am

on a second date?

A U-Haul!

You know, I never thought that joke was very funny but now I know why. What ever happened to dating? Why is it that when I meet someone it has to be all or nothing? I really like this new girl in my life, but kissing one day and talking about living together the next is kinda freakin me out. I don't want to offend her, or run her off but I am free and independent for the very first time in my life and I like it. Financially it scares me a little, but I work alot so it's ok. I can rest when I am old. I don't want to answer to anyone. Is that a crappy thing to say?

I had a husband for 13 years, then a live in girlfriend for the year immediately following my divorce. I want to be alone sometimes. I don't want to have to answer for every little thing I do. On the other hand I feel like if I let this opportunity pass me by there may not be another. How many lesbians live in small town Oklahoma? Not many! Sooo, I'm just thinking out loud here. Any advice?

Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 12:14am
Jo, we spoke a little about this today - we are both thinking the same thing, it's crazy. She doesn't like that I work so much, we could live more comfortably financially if we shared expenses. BUT we both know we are moving to fast. It's one of those things that's fun to talk about but shouldn't happen. I love my new found freedom. I agree with you 100% that we should know eachother well enough that we don't have to ask many questions BEFORE making huge committments. THanks Jo, hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 12:18am

Laurie, love your first idea, butthead. *wink*

OK, she wants Leanne and I to move in her home once he is gone, it's a beautiful 4,000 sq ft, 3 yr old home that she designed. It means alot to her. I live in a 2 bedroom brick renthouse. I love my house, it's perfect for me and Leanne. I am not saying it wouldn't be nice to live in her house, but mine is good too. I don't want to give it up. She just wants us with her, I say we can visit anytime, but I should keep my house. Leanne and I worked hard to make it our home, we like ours just fine.
Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 12:24am
Wow Caly, your post hit me pretty hard. I would hate to think she is leaving him FOR me. I would like to think she was wanting to leave him anyway and that I was the little incentive to help her along. I don't want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage. We have been talking for months about how miserable she is in her marriage, way before we spoke of "us". yikes.
I am not going to push her away, I just want to put the brakes on a little. Don't get me wrong, I can't stand having to say goodbye to her everyday. I would love to sleep with her at night, but life isn't that simple. I think all of us here know how hard it is to say goodbye or be apart from someone we love, it stinks. But I don't want to make any huge decisions just yet. I like her very much, I also like my freedom.
Hopefully someday we can live together, but not tomorrow.
Hugs, and thanks, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 12:28am

Ting, So nice to talk to you! No "proper welcome back" is necessary my friend. I know what it is like to be super busy....

I think we decided today to wait on the moving in together, we both know it's premature. It's just hard to say goodbye all the time. I think I would be happy either way.

Take care, thanks for the input - love and hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 12:41am
Thanks for your advice, I think I'll take it! You know, it's not just the two of us involved. I have a 16 year old daughter, she is very fond of my new girlfriend, and even talks about moving into her house with excitement. I know that it is because she has a huge beautiful new home, and we have a small (but beautiful) home. Kids are funny - none of us know eachother well enough to even be discussing this so soon. My daughter just wants a huge house to show off.
I don't want any regrets, if she is going to be my partner for life we can wait.
Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 12:45am
Halo, You are absolutely right. I am sorry you had a hard time in my absence, I feel bad I wasn't here for you. I know these other girls probably took great care of you. How are you now? Email me sometimes if you want to talk....
Thanks for your advice and sharing your story.
Huge hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 12:54am
Lol, glad you liked my idea.
Sounds like she has a great house, but hope she won't be always reminding you that you can't do this or that in "HER" house.
I would stick to what you feel is right. If you spend more time at her house and it is feeling good then ease into it.
I can certainly understand not wanting to pick up and suddenly move in.
Is she afraid to stay there alone?
Hugs,
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://didoangst.blogspot.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 12:58am

Funny you should ask if she is afraid, I would be. Her house is down a loooong gravel driveway, in the middle of the woods. I don't even know if I could live there, I'm not the country living type of girl. There are probably creatures out in them woods! LOL

As for it being "her" house. I think I may feel like that a little. I think Leanne and I need to stay there a few (hundred) times before we move in.

I miss you Laurie!
Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 10:55am
Right on! I would be scurt all night long about what might be lurking in them thare woods.
At least here in the city you can rest comfortably knowing that the strange noises you are hearing are at someone elses house, lol.
Also, I take comfort in knowing that no one would rob my house, all my neighbors will be at the big houses to do that kind of business. lol.
Tell her you will move in when she has Brinks and 6 Rottwielers.
I would scatter some old bones around the yard too, to scare off the bad guys when they hear those doggies barking.
I miss you too Sandra, don't be a stranger anymore.
Hugs,
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://didoangst.blogspot.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/

Pages