Well Here goes.. :(
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| Tue, 08-09-2005 - 11:38pm |
Thank you everyone for trying hard at helping me with last night.. I did get to talk to Laurie today..
Nobody be offended please that I didn't call any one else.. I figured her because she and Sheila have been through some relationships hurts and possibly they could tell me something to say or do....I may need more oof you to call.. Do understand I may please..
Here how all these wonderful bestest friend love things can go.. All you that are single and pine-ing for love.. Be glad your not feeling what my heart has been since yesterday..
This is how it goes to make it short as I can..
My ~S~ has been last few weeks acting different.. All the typical signs to me at least.. Typical signs that makes someone thats been there before start to get insecure especially when it's happened in similar ways..What is it about me that makes people do me like this? 8 years together...
Well I have been talking to her everynight for her breaks and lunch.. But things changed.. Our closeness started to be labeled "Smothering".. I was of course hurt and *intuitive..
Well Last night she got angry with me and all heck broke out (on phone).. I was a

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~Ginny~ <-- Click to send me email
OOOHHHH Cat, I am so sorry you are hurting so badly. I don't have any easy answers for you. I just want you to know that you are a beautiful woman and love can be hard. Please don't take her feelings about this co-worker personally. It really doesn't have anything to do with you. Things just happen. Love changes, and thats not a bad thing. After 8 years your love is old and comfortable, new love is exciting. This doesn't mean your relationship is over, or going to be over. It could make things stronger and more secure. Dont' give up hope, try and trust while following your instincts. I wish there was something better I could say or do,
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Thats all I have, I'm so sorry sweetie. Email me if you ever need to talk I will give you my number. You can call anytime.
Hugs, Sandra
Sandr
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Well Cat, I don't think I'd be able to trust someone that all of a sudden has changed their feelings for me. You asked for the truth the first time, and you didn't get it. I wouldn't beat myself up. Please forgive me, but it seems that ~S~ really isn't trustworthy at the moment. We all here know that you have been through some very hard times, with your boys, and your jerk of an ex-husband. And we know that you've been there for her when she was going through the different things in her life. As far as I'm concerned there's no exuse for this unbelieveable behavior. Of course, it caused a commotion when the woman called on ~S~'s cell, ~S~ was embarrassed, and she knew that she was way out of line, not to mention she was probably feeling very guilty. I can't understand how this woman can make ~S~ feel any different then how, she felt about you in the beginning. In order for someone to be smothered, you would have to call, and badger a person 24/7. You are an affectionate woman, and you work very hard, and from what I understand, you two don't get to see each other that often, or am I wrong? If I was in a 8 year relationship, I would know that my girlfriend is going to call at break times and lunchtimes. She just doesn't want you to know that she's talking to this....... and she doesn't want to be distracted from doing that, so she jumped at you and made, in my opinion, the worst mistake that any fool can make. In my book, having feelings for someone else, at that stage in your relationship, I consider that "emotional cheating". Even though, I'm a relatively young woman, I'm still a bit old fashioned when it comes to being faithful, not just in body, but in emotions also. In short, complete devotion.
And then for the woman to lie and say that her son called on ~S~'s cell, that just adds insult to injury. I know how it feels to have someone that you thought you could trust, just do some really slimy things behind my back, lie about it, and then want to be affectionate. That's the reaction of a guilty mind. But after all that she has done, I can't believe that she would actually hold you.
If you wish, you may still email me. My phone number hasn't changed, and my friendship is always there for you. I'm not offended, but I do understand about how it hurts when someone that you thought was devoted to you, isn't.
I hope that wasn't too blunt. I'm not too happy that you're hurting unnecessarily, you have been through too much for this happen.
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Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Oh honey.. I can't believe the crap you've had dished onto your plate! Here's my blunt reaction, and I hope you'll forgive me;
I think it's terribly unfair of ~S~ to have tried to have put all this on your shoulders... to have said you were smothering her. If you hadn't been as intuitive.. you may have tried to take her at her word, believed that all the problems were yours. You'd be desperately trying to be the person she wants you to be in order to hang onto her love.. instead of being yourself - the woman who was completely deserving of that same love, unquestioned just a few weeks ago.
It's the lies that make me the angriest. The lady she's interested in doesn't know, supposedly? Sorry babe, but the big commotion over the call on her cell phone really points to a different truth. Even if it wasn't the woman she's interested in... that reaction would make anyone wonder what the heck she's hiding.
Sweetpea, I hope ~S~ pulls her head out soon, and realizes that the relationship you two have built is so much more satisfying and secure than whatever this stranger is offering in the heady rush of new love. You asked, how can I trust? It can only happen with proper reassurance and open-ness. You will have to feel that ~S~ has truly given up any notions she may have had of this other woman....
You know you can call anytime. There is some good advice and support already on this thread.
Don't give up yet. Let her know How much she has to lose!
Laurie
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You've gotten some good advice. I hope ~S~ will come to her senses.
Sending lots of hugs your way,
Wow Cat, I am stunned.
Kim
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I'm sorry that you are hurting!
hugs,
rj
Cat all my prayers are with you. I know the pain and mistrust feelings. I'm with Nony about the honesty, it needs to be there no matter how much pain. Being honest about feelings and want's and needs are all part of the relationship process. To place the blame on you is the cowards way out. Just like the girl I was dating, instead of being honest and tell me there is no attraction, she fabricated a crazy story and it made me feel worse? What is it with these people anyway? I'm always for the honest part no matter how bad it hurts, just don't place the blame on me and run. I always knew my husband was cheating because he always came down on me for stupid things because he couldn't deal with his guilt. You have every right to be not trusting her. Does she think your stupid? Hang in there Cat!
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