Questions / rough night
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Questions / rough night
| Sun, 08-14-2005 - 12:46am |
this is hard for me, as I like to keep to myself,
yet I dont know where to turn or what to do.
My spouse, has just changed our previous agreement on money
and this week I will not get any, and when I do, he has already
cut it back by several hundred dollars. Now he says his lawyer told him
he only has to give me child support thats all. No extra help with food,
electric, groceries or the VERY expensive car he put me into.
I am lost, scared, angry, and confused. This all came about because I
opened up and told him my true feelings. His anger has caused me
to withdraw even more, hence missing from the board.
The only friend I talk to, has helped me keep what little
sanity I have left.
Any divorce advice??
Lea

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I have never been married and do not know what to say about divorce advice.
I think if I had things that were way above my ability to pay for I would downsize.
I also am not sure of your situation. Was he the only one working and supporting you. Can you get a good job?
Or better paying position?
I am not sure what a person is obligated to pay to the spouse.
I know there are many people here who have been through this. I am sure you will get alot of good advice.
In the mean time, try not too worry yourself to much over something that you cannot change at this moment.
You will find a way. Everyone does. I know you will too. It might not be easy for awhile, but sweetie, I know you will be ok even though it does not seem like it right now.
I wish I could make it all better, like the fairy, just wave my wand and fix everything for everyone.
Also, he might just need some time to process what you have told him. Maybe he will cool down after awhile.
Ok, maybe not too, but things will start coming together for you eventually.
How are the boys doing?
Please stay strong. And take care.
We are right here.
Feel free to e-mail me if you need anything.
Laurie
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No ideas or advice on Divorce.. I didn't marry him.. Can you believe That! Thank Heavens! ..
I do hope you can see some Sunshine soon.. Know we are here.. Some of us a
C >^. A .
not sure what is going on?????last time we talked things weren't that bad,guess there has been a change???you know I am around if you need to talk....I am sorry....Jo
I would look through the divorce agreement. He can't change child support amounts but if anywhere in there he promised to pay other things he must. Did you sign off to no alimony? If you didnt then you have recourse there. I would contact your divorse lawyer as he obviously stays in contact with his.
http://www.nolo.com/article.cfm/objectID/FFD982B2-24AD-4484-92AF7840969174E0/118/246/169/FAQ/
Edited 8/14/2005 9:42 am ET ET by tookie12
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my blog....where i scoop the poop
htt
I agree with Tookie on this one. One an agreement is signed he just cant 'change it' because his situation changes.
Unfortunately my lawyer told me Alimony is not a 'given' any more in divorce cases but its not totally excluded either.
aka
(((((Lea)))))
Soozie and Caly have given you good input.
Pieces of My Life
Lea,
The courts will decide based on his salary, the amount he will pay! You should get 1/2 his retirement, or a portion of it depending on the number of years you lived with him. Have your attorney to ask for spousal support if you qualify. Don't listen to what he says, men will always embellish everything the attorney says to them, just to bully you. Stand your ground and fight for your rights and your children's rights with your attorney! Unless the attorney talks to you directly, I wouldn't believe what your husband says.
This should take the scare away from you. Divorce is a tricky and stressful event, let the attorney handle him, okay? Hang in there sweetie, just empower yourself with knowledge before your ex confronts you anymore!
hugs
halo
hugs
halo
(((((( Lea ))))))
I just got thru my divorce, but I had no kids. But one thing I know for a fact, once it's in writting it can't be changed w/out both lawyers agreeing and both parties sign off on it. Ex-idiot tryed to pull the money game on me, my lawyer gave him a new hole.
Talk to your lawyer hunny and all my best to you and the kids.
Hugs & luvs,
Robin
**Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**
I have no lawyer yet. We are not divorced, not even seperation papers. He is making extra money by being overseas, and has hidden from me how much extra cola he is getting. Also he just got promoted with a coupke hundred dollar raise.
He did this because he thinks I am stashing money from him to go see g/f, and party all the time..and not pay the bills. He wants to set all the bills up on a payment schedule, and then the rest is mine, including the high car payment. He said he put me in the sports car (against my wishes) to spoil me. He thought it would make me happy.
My mother said to trade the car in for something cheaper, but I don;t think that is a good idea at this point, as the car is also in his name, so I would think he has to be somewhat responsible for helping me with it.
Anyway, not as bad today as I was last night. Just not sure where to turn to.
I guess find a womens rights lawyer. Any ideas where to find a good one?
Lea
Was the agreement a legal court document? If so, he is totally bound by it unless he requests a modification, and that requires a hearing. What is it with ex's? Geesh.
Talking is good... sometimes everything... it so helps thinking things through and finding our path.
*hugs*
What's the use in regrets
They're just thing we haven't done yet
What are regrets?
They're just lessons we haven't learned yet
Pass In Time ~ Beth Orton
worlds undone
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