Wanting a baby - please give me advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Wanting a baby - please give me advice
7
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 11:37am

I'm sorry that I haven't been around much lately. I've been riding a lot at the barn where I used to keep my horse. The weather has been really hot here, but I've been having a lot of fun. I love the horses that my riding instructor lets me ride. She is so generous! She lets me come out and ride them whenever I want, even if she isn't there.

I've been having some thoughts that I kind of want to talk to you ladies about, though. I want to have a baby. I know that I can't have one right now because I need to finish school and establish myself in the literary world first, but lately, I've been wanting to have a baby so badly that it hurts. I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I know that I'm not pregnant. I'm so envious of all the girls who are having cute little babies. I just wish that every baby I see in the mall or the grocery store were my baby. I get so upset when I hear about mothers not wanting their babies or not being able to support them. I've been going to stores and looking at baby clothes and other baby stuff and pretending that I'm going to have a baby of my own.

Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? Am I crazy? I know that I can't have a baby right now, but is it all right to pretend sometimes? What can I do to quell the baby urges and not feel so sad about not having a baby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 12:26pm

Let's see - I'll let you have my three children (14/11/6-months) for a whole week!!! I promise you after about two days your call me and tell me to come and get them!!!

I had my first very young (15) so I didn't have a chance to have that free time. I didn't have that time to do what I wanted. I went from child - to mother. There's plenty of time to have children. And if you cannot have one yourself you can always adopt. You would be so surprised how much easier they are about same sex partners adopt. now a days.

Babies are cute and sweet and God made them that way for a reason (as my child's pediatrician told me at the last visit). My son is 6 months old and I haven't had a full nights sleep since he's been born. His father is no-where to be found. And everytime I have to do something - work/run to store/ anything at all he has to come with me. Or I have to find a sitter and that's a whle different subject!!

You like to ride horses - enjoy it now! Because you cannot strap a car seat onto the horses back (it would be pretty funny to see though). Enjoy your life because when you have a child it's not about yourself any longer - they come first.

I love my kids - but they keep me 100% busy!!

Live your life slow - everything you want will come in time. Enjoy today and don't jump forward to tomorrow.

LOL,
Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 12:35pm
I know that you are right. I need to finish college and graduate school before I can have a baby. I should also just enjoy my freedom. It's so hard to wait, though, when I want a baby so badly. Maybe I should babysit or something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 1:36pm


Babysitting is good. My two younger sister's tell me all the time that my children are birthcontrol for them (Ha).

LOL
Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 1:44pm

Finish graduate school.

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 10:21pm
You will one day be a great parent, but you are not being selfish, not missing out, etc by taking care of other things first. Waiting simply makes it all the sweeter when you finally do, and you will have less stress because you will have finished school. If it weighs heavy on you from time to time, check in here... we'll cheer ya up! Heck, maybe Pam, ms kitty, tookie, and eastie will wear spandex and pole dance for ya.

What's the use in regrets
They're just thing we haven't done yet
What are regrets?
They're just lessons we haven't learned yet


Pass In Time ~ Beth Orton

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 1:17pm
I say baby sit for someone or work at a day care part time. It sure helped me get out of the baby wanting blues when I was younger. I don't mean that it made me not want a baby of my own, but it sure felt good just taking care of those sweet little babies. You know, I could hold them and care for them while their Mommies went to work. Babies are really amazing little people they are. Sometimes I get down because I don't have any of my own. Sheila and I went through some depressing moments when going through some of our things (we are getting rid of clutter) We realized we have no real need to save things from our past because there is nobody to pass it on to.
I have female trouble and so I could not carry a baby. I have gone through the wishing and wanting my own baby. I never have pretended, but I did work at day cares and baby sat for some of my friends. I did not charge because it was fun for me. I wouldn't take kids into my home these days because I have to many pets.
But I still love little babies.
For some reason babies and kids always like me. And yes, it makes my heart ache to see or hear of people who abuse or neglect babies or children. I think when they give them up for adoption it is better than to put them through abuse/neglect.
Hugs,
Laurie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 6:32pm
I'm sorry that you can't have a baby of your own. I'm really worried that I won't be able to have a baby because I've never been pregnant, so I don't know for sure that I can even get pregnant. Thanks so much for sharing your experience and your kind words, though. I definitely appreciate your kindness and caring!