New...with a question
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New...with a question
| Wed, 08-17-2005 - 6:54pm |
Hi all,
I've just recently "delurked"...see below...and have a few questions.
Is there any of you that have children, then became involved with a woman who has joined your family? Was it successful and was it a difficult adjustment?
Thanks!
Deb

hey Deb,
welcome.....if I didn't say so down there
some of the ladies here have children,I don't ....
so from the parents point of view I am not sure...
I dated a few people with children and well some were harder then others...
I guess some of it could depend on how old the children are and things of that nature...
I know someone with expertise (lol) will be along to help you further....
have a great one,jo
Hi Deb
Great question as Many of us here have children so Im sure you will get some great feedback
For me the transition was not a hard one but I am also in a little bit of a different situation.
aka
Hi Caly,
Thank you for sharing your story. I have 3 daughters (16, 13, & 8) and they live with me. My ex is very much in there lives and he sees them every other weekend and 2 times during weeknights. My SO is a "good friend" (haha) and my girls adore her. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the older two suspected strongly of our relationship, and am quite certain that after the initial adjustment period would be perfectly fine with it. My SO is having difficulty knowing if she wants that total commitment with me and my girls, which is understandable since she's lived alone her whole life and has other issues with coming out.
We are trying so hard to make the best of our situation as it is right now, until we can figure otherwise, but it's very up and down. When were actually together, we enjoy each other immensely and know that we need to do everything in our power to make it work. It's just HARD!
Thanks for listening...
Deb
I'm glad to listen and at least offer some understanding Deb.
aka
Hello. I am recently separated, but I had a baby when I met me ex. She came in the picture when he was about 1 1/2 (the terrible twos!) and it was extremely hard on her to decide if she wanted to make the commitment to both of us. There was no doubt that she wanted a relationship with me, throwing a kid in just complicated things more. We talked about a lot, I always told her I understood if she didn't want to continue--it's now 7 years later and she's still involved. Like I said we have separated--maybe we can work things out, I don't know--but my son still sees her everyday (sometimes it's hard on me) and they do things together a lot. She was just here tonight helping him do his homework.
So, it's definately a hard decision for someone to make, but just keep believing that things will work out the way they are supposed to work out and that she will come around.
~Ev
I have never had my own kids, but I have been with other women who had children.
I figure the kids are just part of the package.
I never tried to be their parent, but instead became a good friend to them. Kids, never have been a bother for me, but sometimes they can make me nervous if they do things where they might get hurt etc.
I always spoil my cousins kids and my partners neices and nephews. And I love the ones who are older now and off to college. We send them fun care packages etc. And they talk computers etc., with us.
I taught my one cousins little girl how to play baseball, hehe.
My partner and I have been together for 8 years now so, I have Known some of the neices and nephews since they were born or young. My partner has 2 sisters and 3 brothers and they all accept us as just another married couple and they have explained to the kids about Sheila and I and our relationship. So, all the kids treat me as one of the aunts.
They always want us to come visit and bring our to little dogs now which is what we did yesterday. And they always laugh at my dumb little jokes etc.
They are always excited to show me their new toys or clothes or computers too.
And they are always getting alot of stuff from us for Christmas because we do not have to worry about spending/saving for our own kids. My family and my partners family think of us as family. It is so nice when it works out that way.
I am very close with her sisters, and sisters-in-law. And her brothers are very good friends as well and so are her two brothers-in-law. They always invite on vacations and visit us and we do alot together. Same with my sis and bro-in-law. And my brother-in-laws family.
It just feels like a big cozy extended family.
So, once she gives it a chance, she might enjoy it.
Laurie
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