Checking them out

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Checking them out
8
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 3:48pm


Has anyone here ever took the extra time to check
on some one you met. Have you spied on them?
have you researched for more to know if what they
are saying is true?
Back ground check maybe?

Is there any clues to maybe what they are saying isn't true?
Do actions really speak louder than words??

Lea

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 4:42pm

I don't have enough experience to properly respond. So, I hope that is okay. Anyway, I've never had anyone checked out. Doesn't mean that I wouldn't consider it though. It would depend on the situation. If your instinct is telling you something isn't quite right, LISTEN. It could be something minor- like you and the other person aren't on the same page- or it could be something serious. I always opt for getting to know someone slowly. Take small steps. It allows you to see more of the person. Sooner or later, people stop showing their best side and begin showing their real side. During the first stages of dating, I've heard that most people usually try awfully hard to show their best side. So, by taking it slow, you'll eventually see the real person.

Actions do speak louder than words. If their actions are not lining up with their words, beware. I scare easily. I pay close attention to someone's actions. Because, people will tell you anything. And, some will tell you what they think you want to hear.

hugs,

rj

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 5:36pm
I have never had anyone checked out or spied. If I get red flags, like saying one thing and doing another I start to think maybe this isn't for me.
Hugs,
Laurie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 6:14pm
the norm for me "was"(past tense there) from email ,to messenger,to phone a few dozen times before meeting somewhere in public....usually after 5 minutes on the phone I can tell weather I am even going to meet them or not and in the past I had many five minute calls and that was that...if I met someone and things didn't seem to add up or be quite right,sometimes that was a red flag,but then some were just them being nervous....we all tend to get nervous...
I swore off "online dating period" just because.....
...hugs lea....from jo


Edited 8/21/2005 1:54 am ET ET by lifesajourney1974
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 6:37pm
oh forgot I had met a 911 dispatcher on line and we were friends ,were to going to have dinner but she had an ex she was still pretty into so just friends the whole time.she later revealed she did a back ground check on me???maybe got my tag number ,she knew where I worked and it came back clean....most would have been mad at that but I was LOL so hard....I could have gone and gotten one for her if she had asked...I don't mind proving I am on the up and up...just thought that was funny at the time...Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 8:13pm

Hi Lea,

With all of the women that I've dated, I've never had reason to check up on or have anyone spy for me. If I can't get any honesty from the beginning, then I don't even bother, so far, I haven't been disappointed. I can agree with andie, sometimes the person that you just met, might just say anything. That's why whenever you do the online dating thing, they have suggestions that you should follow. For example, meeting them in a public place, where there are people, and if you want to bring a friend and they can bring a friend, then do it.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

Avatar for nursepam2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 8:56pm

Hi Lea!


The whole idea freaks me out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 10:21pm

No I don't spy on people. Usually they reveal themselves in time. I did however, call about a perverted Boy Scout Leader who hugged my son and laid on the floor next to him. I was extremely upset because this was the first time he had met my son and I, I thought it was too much, too fast. This guy was at least 72 or more years old, and he was traveling over 70 miles from his home town. We found out that every unit he was with, had parental complaints about his affectionate behavior towards the boys.

hugs (((((((((((((((((((Lea))))))))))))))))))))))
halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 10:37pm
There is nothing wrong with being cautious, that's for sure.