Coming out stories?
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Coming out stories?
| Thu, 08-25-2005 - 9:43pm |
I was wondering if any of you would be willing to share your coming out story with me? I'm curious to know what kind of reactions your friends and family had when you told them. Also, can anyone recommend any good books about coming out stories? I have seen a few in Barnes & Noble, but I haven't bought any yet.

Hello pinkie, go ahead and get those books at Barnes and Noble, they may help you. Of course, the other ladies may give you some more suggestions. Ok, now for your request:
When I was five, I knew something about me was different. It wasn't because I had long hair, and light skin, but I knew that I like being around the boys a lot more, and I was very attracted to the girls. I liked how they looked and how feminine they were. I was a butch-in-training, you might say. I used to play marbles, cops and robbers. I loved to wear sneakers, jeans and t-shirts. I would have a fit if I had to wear a dress, and Mary Jane shoes(patent leather, now I know where my leather fetish came from, lol). Anyway, When I came home from an occaison that I had to wear a dress, the Mary Jane shoes, the shoes went flying one way and the dress was on the bed. I put my jeans and t-shirts back on and felt a lot better. I used to love to wear my father's cologne,(which is why I wear it today, lol). You might as well say, I would love to dress in my father's clothes (hence the cross-dressing, lol).
As I grew older, and I moved away to another neighborhood, I was surrounded by nothing but boys, and I felt right at home. When puberty hit, well, needless to say, I looked at girls in a different light, I lost my ability to talk whenever one of them said anything to me, and I would blush everytime I looked at them any longer the 5 mins. As I grew older, in high school, I was becoming obvious to me what I was, but I had to make sure. In the girl's dressing room, I couldn't undress in front of any of the girls, for fear they would see,(I'll put it this way, "my physical reaction" and I'm not going any further than that). I just made sure that I was dressed before they came inside. Since I don't have any older sisters, I didn't know how to dress in front of another female, execpt my mom, well, she doesn't count. LOL! Also, one of the fascinations with women started with my high school teachers, I had crushes on all of them, the female ones, specifically. I especially loved my English teachers, all of those beautiful words, but I became tongue tied when I was alone with them, all I could do is smile, and nod my head. But when called upon to answer a question, I answered as coherently as I could, without stammering or stuttering.
But I knew I couldn't stay in the dressing room while they dressed either, because I knew I would be staring at their developing bodies, and I would loose the ability to breathe, not to mention, I would walk into the locker room door. So, before I graduated from high school, I was beginnig to feel that independence that an 18 yr old feels, but at the same time, I was sad, why? Because I was leaving my "girlfriends". The thoughts I used to have, and thank goodness, they couldn't tell, because I would be so embarrassed. So, after I graduated, I "came out" to myself. After time went by, I began to look deeper into my sexuality, and like you I took to reading the books that were available to me,
for example, and these are my rare jems: Lesbian/Woman by Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, the Ann Taylor books "Journey to Fullfillment", "Return to Lesbos" one good book by Jane Futcher, "Crush". (I think you may find that book interesting, it's mainly a story. And another rare jem, "Rubyfruit Jungle", and "Bingo" both by Rita Mae Brown. Another classic, in my opinion is "Curious Wine" by Katherine Forrest, (my personal favorite, lots of detail, lol). Also, the first good book by Ann Bannon is the Beebo Brinker series, those were and are still my favorites. You might want to ask the people at Barnes and Noble if they can order them for you. After my reading binges, and as I grew older, I felt it was time to find a lover. And since, I have one older brother (he's straight), I couldn't very well ask him if he could help me find a girlfriend, lol. I had to look for myself. After having my first girlfriend, and my first sexual encounter, I knew that (and I know that this is going to sound dramatic)I had come home. After that, it was learning about how and what it means to be a lesbian, I'm not just a sexual being, but I'm a human being that loves women.
I hope that helps.
Edited 8/25/2005 11:12 pm ET ET by igentleheart
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Thanks for sharing your story! I loved reading it.
Thanks for your book recommendations, too. I'm looking them up on Amazon.com right now. *hehe*
You're welcome, the other ladies may have other suggestions.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
~Amy
Coming out was not just a desire for me, it was a lifesaver.
aka