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Registered: 10-31-2002
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Wed, 09-28-2005 - 11:17am
Hi Ladies, how is everyone? I am still job searching. I have applied to all temp. agencies and school districts with in the area for subbing. C.and I went to dinner and auction for Pride on Sat.nite, C. was mia for abit, come to find out she had run into an ex, that she was with for yr, who she was still in love with. This woman got mad with C.because she was dating, C. states she knows it was an unhealthy relationship,but still loved her and doesn't have feelings. C. asked me to be friends I said no, because of the feelings I had for her, and I asked her the same ?, she responsed with, she couldn't be just friends,and didn't want to lose me. C.saw her therapist again, no mention to the therapist about this dating stuff. Once again, C. said last night, I would do much better with someone else. I asked her if she wanted more in the dating relationship in the future, she said yes, and then said she didn't know.I told her at some point in the future I would like physical intimacy and passion, but not at this time. Well, ladies, am I trying to hard to make this work? I realize it has been only 3.5 months. We now only hold hands on occassion and I get a kiss on the cheek. I feel that this is worth the effort in dating C.and I have lots of patience, but at some point I want more. I know that she has stuff from the abuse and past relationships to work through. It like she is testing me.
Sorry for the long note. I hope everyone is well and keep Robin in prayers on Friday, as she is having surgery.Everyone stay healthy and take care. In Peace~gracemae59
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
In reply to: gracemae59
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 12:10pm
Hi Gracemea,
I am not sure what to tell you. It sounds like she has this thing for the ex, but maybe not. It also sounds like she is unsure of your future together. Her affection is getting to be less instead of more.
I think I would see it as not going anywhere or at least not where you would like it too. Maybe it is time to move on. I think 3.5 months is long enough to get a feeling on where things are going.
If you go to long with this you might get very hurt.
Hugs,
Laurie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2002
In reply to: gracemae59
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 1:55pm
Hi Laurie, thank you for your words of widsom. This ex was never mention to me until recently. This ex of C. has had no contact in the past year and still don't. The good part is that C. has recognized that it was an unhealthy behavior/relationship. I feel like it was really good for 3 months, than boom, she went home to NY, to get closure on the sexual abuse and other emotional stuff. Then here we are. She does call at least 3 x's a day and looking at my calendar I have been over to her house every night for movie or walk, by her invitation and accord. I think perhaps she has stronger feelings for me than she admits and that scares the byjeezum's out of her. I also as stated I think it is a big test, as of last nite, she said so when are you going to tired of all this and leave. I realize I think too much of this situation, and I know that I have to make a decision at some point. But I will give myself time and I do take care of myself. Too much down time, makes my brain overwork,lol :)
I hope you are feeling better, and wished I had an computer at home to chat with everyone.
But anyways, I thank you and take care.gracemae59
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
In reply to: gracemae59
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 9:45am
Awwww thanks gracemae.
Keep us posted. I hope she can find a way to work through this more. I know it will take time.
Hugs,
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://didoangst.blogspot.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/