So what do ya think? What's your 2 cents

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
So what do ya think? What's your 2 cents
15
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 1:27am

Hi all..((((((Hugs))))))) Haven't been up to posting much lately or posting to.. Just a bit here and there,


 C  >^. A .

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 2:33am
Hi cat!
I hope you start feeling a bit better soon. It is ok if you are not up to posting back.
I think what goes around comes around in both good and bad ways.
I think it is, because when we do good, others might feel like doing good in return.
I think when we do bad things to people they do not mind doing bad to us or at least they do not go out of their way to do good towards us.
As for cheating. I don't know if what comes around or goes around is always matched in the same way.
For example; If someone cheats on a partner they might then be suspicious of their new partner cheating on them since they were able to do it.
Or the other partner might feel if they cheated on their ex with them that they would be inclined to cheat again on them this time. In this way they would have a troubled relationship with lack of trust and that is what would be what comes around. They cheated their way into a new relationship but it is not the perfect relationship they expected because now they are in a relationship with trust issues and it would cause problems.
I believe the cycle can be broken for the simple fact that people can and do change as they grow and mature and find themselves in different situations. Or in other words they learn their lessons through experiences both good and bad.
I know I have changed so much myself through the years. I used to be pretty bad and always in trouble when I was young. I guess I just realized that the consequences I suffered, I brought on myself. I also quit drinking and just did not have that mean thing in me as a sober person. I mean I will have a drink now and then but it is not every day and night and getting into trouble. I just grew out of that. I also think coming to terms with being a lesbian had alot to do with my rebelious old self.
I broke my own cycle by learning to like who I am and accept myself. I also cannot even imagine doing some of the crazy awful things I did when I was young now.
So I believe cycles are broken from within the person when they change and grow inside.
When I was young I used to sell drugs and rob trains with some other people. We got caught. I was given a choice of going to prison or going to the military. I chose the military. I was lucky because my parents knew some people in our town so only the one guy went to prison who was the adult.
Well when I went into the Navy, after bootcamp I had all of my things shipped to my new duty station. My things never got there. They were stolen and only the boxes with rags and stuff came.
There were things in my shipment that I had stolen off the trains, so, that is where I think things came back around.
I had to start over from scratch. You know I did some soul searching after that! I used to put myself in bad situations and many times bad things happened. After I quit that crap and put myself in good situations, it seems that good things happen more often.
I believe you break your own cycle by changing within yourself. In the things you do or the way you think.
I am not saying that it is easy. Sometimes it feels even foolish, as if you are setting yourself up to get hurt or let down. That is why I believe you also have to change the way you think when you decide to change within yourself.
Do not change based on what other people will think of you. I believe you have to change for yourself because nobody has to live your life or walk in your shoes but you. No one else will be there to pick you up everytime you fall but you and so on and so on... if people do not like the new you, even if they are a close friend or loved one, or partner and if they leave then you have to think of it as one of those things that are changing as you have changed and grown. Sometimes you just grow apart from other's and sometimes they grow with you or let you grow because they love you and love to see you grow and do what you need to do for you.
Now, this is just my own 2 cents like you asked. I am not saying that is how it works for everyone, but it does work for me. And at times it has been scarey.
Sorry for such a long post.
Hugs,
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://didoangst.blogspot.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 7:34am

Hi Cat, it good to see that you are posting, keep doing it as you are able, it is good to see that you're doing ok. Now to your question. In my opinion, I believe that what comes around goes around, or for short karma. Like for example, if you have good friends and they see that you're trying to get a sweetheart, and they keep interfering. Well, not that you(not you, specifically)would interfer with their happiness, but at some point someone will interfer with their happiness. And as far as your example is concerned, if I was dating someone, that I found out, was cheating, well, That doesn't excuse me to cheat, but when the person I was dating finally says that they were cheating, and the relationship ended, well then, they will be cheated upon, karma. But karma works for good also. If you do something good for someone, the good will work its way back to you. Which is why when I know that someone is dating someone else, I stay out of their relationship, who am I to interfere?

It hurts when someone tries to get in the middle of your love life, and it keeps ending because of well intentioned people. The only way karma can stop, in my opinion, is forgiveness, and the changing of disrupting behavior. You're ok, Cat, and I can understand how you feel, I still have sharp pangs of anger, but that's only normal when you've been "slapped" in the face, and made to feel like your not good enough. But for me, it's just how I feel. But, I still have to forgive and let it go, or the resentment will eat me alive, and I must go on with my life, like I've been doing.

Hugs to you!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2005
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 8:13am

((((((((((CAT))))))))))))

I do believe that the saying, "What comes around goes around," has truth to it. But, I don't know that the "payback" is necessarily the same as the action. Let me touch on positive payback as my opinion example. I did a training session at the Humane Society. The act of volunteering will bring joy into my life. That joy could simply be a great feeling or it could be other things like new friendships.

Individuals make decisions. If someone told me that I should rob a bank and they too were a bank robber. (silly example -I know) The act of the other person telling me to do it is not the important factor. The important factor is my decision. But, then you have circumstances...If I did not know John Doe was a bank robber and he asked me to drive his car one night and to stop at street and he would return in a moment, but during that time he was robbing a bank, my lack of knowledge about his actions did not allow me to make the proper decision. In the case of law, I might be held as an accomplice to a crime, but I wouldn't be a bank robber. That is just my very simple rambling. :)

You know CAT it is fine to let things like this roll around in your head. You are a very kind and sweet person. I won't take it personal if you don't respond. It is okay.

One more hug ((((((((((CAT))))))))

BTW- I've been thinking about getting a tatto as well.

Nice to see you! And, come back with all the questions you want to. I love to read your posts!

Hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 9:06am
And it is good to see you back to ((((((((((rj))))))))))
Hugs,
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://didoangst.blogspot.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 10:10am

CAT:


What goes around comes around both good and bad.

hugs

halo

Avatar for nursepam2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 10:35am

(((((((Cat)))))))


I do think that what goes around comes around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2005
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 5:36pm

Thank you Laurie for the hug and welcome back. You have been very supportive to me over the past months. I hope that I can show you the same kindness sometime if you are in need.

Hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 11:31pm
Thanks (((((rj)))))
Hugs,
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://didoangst.blogspot.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 10:14pm

We could chain you to your keyboard and make you post. Vee haff vays, yanno! ;-) Seriously, just take care of yerseff, mkay?


About this goes around comes around thingie... shall we call it the boomerang effect? As with about everything... it depends. One could screw up big time >raises hand< and if they learn from the experience, if they try to do better going forward, no... don't think there is a boomerang flying out of the clouds with their name on it. If they do not, if they persist in such behaviour and doin's, then sooner or later, one of those flyin' boomies is gonna nail 'em twixt the eyes.


The way to avoid such things is to try, always try, to do better, to be a better person. There's always room for improvement, at least that's how it is for me.


Looooooooooooook ooooooooout! >ducks< "wooooooosh!" Geesh, that one damn near got me! "Whaa...? This says "eastie" on it. Hmmmm. >wink<

So much stays unknown 'til the time has come,
Did you ever imagine you could feel so strong,
And what you fear just turn into relief,
Yes see your doubt become your own belief



Pass In Time

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 4:38pm
Thank You to (((((((((((Everyone))))))))))))) that responded to this post..
I did read them all...... I may come back to add my thoughts/feelings on it..... I see a few different and yet somewhat the same views..
You all are a

 C  >^. A .

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