Meeting the Parents (v. long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Meeting the Parents (v. long)
19
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 10:30am

Finally, after a year of struggles, frustrations, and finally some victories I met Caly's parents. For those of you who know about the situation it was a really huge deal for me to meet them and for Caly to see them. I won't go into all the sordid details, but for those of you who don't know, Caly and her mother have had a very strained relationship all her life. Within the past year or so, her mother found out that Caly is a lesbian, that she has a long-term partner, and that none of it is going away, much to her dismay! Through a series of emotional phone calls and letters over the past six months, Caly and her mom went from barely speaking to each other to having a pleasant relationship again, one in which Caly demands respect and gets it, at least on some level. I'm really proud of how well she has stood up for herself and has refused to take criticism for her choices from her mother anymore. Her mother knows not one iota about me but has assumed from day one that I'm a bad person, that I took Caly away from her DS, and that I've destroyed my own DDs' lives.


So, that's a bit of history and perspective

Photobucket


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:01pm

Thanks for your support, Laurie. We are lucky in that we've gotten this far. You're right, it hasn't been that long since she found out all of this.


LOVE the Cardiac Mothers Club idea! That's perfect!


Hugs,


Ting

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:05pm

Thanks, Sheri. It was a good day overall. We will keep the door open. As I said to Caly, I didn't give her any fodder for her opinions or confirm her assumptions. I'm an average Jane, not out to hurt anyone.


Hugs,


Ting

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:21pm

I think one of the things that well all do, on some level, is to think that something is being done "to" us, when it's not about us at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:27pm

Great thoughts, Sherri. Thanks!


I do agree with what you said. Like I said earlier, we hoped for a warmer reception, and I couldn't help but feel a bit of hurt. Despite any negative feelings I harbor about the situation, I will always take the high road. We're going to have DD write Caly's mom a thank you note for the advent calendars, and I want to send a thank you note to Caly's bro and SIL for being so kind and welcoming to me.


Hugs,


Ting

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 2:34pm

I can agree that it must be very hot down in Valdosta. I was even considering visiting my mom's home state, with my mom (talk about tempting fate,lol) but the heat would absolutely kill me.

Hugs!

Gigi

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 5:35pm

Thanks for all the great comments everyone!


It was a big step for both my Mother and for me.

 *Hugs ~  Caly

aka  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 5:36am

Reading your post was like

Judy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 9:02am

She told me once that when you have Kids you are suppose to give up your own happiness, which makes me sad to think she feels that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 10:24am

Thanks for your support, Judy. It's a tedious road to walk together, but we'll make it.


Hugs,


Ting

Photobucket


Pages