How The Grinch Stole Gay Marriage!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
How The Grinch Stole Gay Marriage!!
5
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 8:48am

I thought you all might enjoy reading this........


How the Grinch Stole Marriage
>> > by Mary Ann Horton, Lisa and Bill Koontz
>> > (with apologies to Dr. Suess.)
>> >
>> > Every Gay down in Gayville liked Gay Marriage a lot......
>> > But the Grinch, who lived just east of Gayville, did NOT!!
>> >
>> > The Grinch hated happy Gays! The whole Marriage season!
>> > Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
>> > It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
>> > It could be, perhaps, his Florsheims were too tight.
>> > But I think the most likely reason of all was
>> > His heart and brain were two sizes too small.
>> >
>> > "And they're buying their tuxes!" he snarled with a sneer, "Tomorrow's
>> > the first Gay Wedding! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with
>> > his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, "I MUST find some way to stop
>> > Gay Marriage from coming!"
>> >
>> > For, tomorrow, he knew... All the Gay girls and boys
>> > would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their vows!
>> > And then! Oh, the Joys! Oh, the Joys!
>> >
>> > And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
>> > Every Gay down in Gayville the tall and the small,
>> > would stand close together, all happy and blissing.
>> > They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Gays would start kissing!
>> >
>> > "I MUST stop Gay Marriage from coming! ...But HOW?"
>> >
>> > Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
>! ;> > THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
>> >
>> > "I know what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
>> > And he went to his closet, grabbed his sheet and his hood. And he
>> > chuckled, and clucked, with a great Grinchy word! "With this beard and
>> > this cross, I look just like our Lord!"
>> >
>> > "All I need is a Scripture..." The Grinch looked around.
>> > But, true Scripture is scarce, there was none to be found. Did that
>> > stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said, "With no Scripture
>> > on Marriage, I'll fake one instead!" "It's one man and one woman," the
>> > Grinch falsely said.
>> >
>> > Then he broke in the courthouse. A rather tight pinch.
>> > But, if Georgie could do it, then so could the Grinch.
>> > The little Gay benefits hung in a row.
>> > "T! hese bennies," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
>> >
>> > Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most uncanny, around the
>> > whole room, and he took every benny! Health care for partners! Doctors
>> > for kiddies! Tax rights! Adoptions! Pensions and Wills!
>> > And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, with a chill,
>> > Stuffed all the bags, one by one, in his bill.
>> >
>> > Then he slunk to the kitchen, and stole Wedding Cake.
>> > He cleaned out that icebox and made it look straight.
>> > He took the Gay-bar keys! He took the Gay Flag.
>> > Why, that Grinch even took their last Gay birdseed bag!
>> >
>> > "And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will pocket their Rings." And the
>> > Grinch grabbed the Rings, and he started to shove when he heard a
>> > small sound like the coo of a dove! . He turned around fast, and off
>> > flew his hood. Little Lisa-Bi Gay behind him sadly stood.
>> > The Grinch had been caught by small Lisa-Bi.
>> > She stared at the Grinch and said, "My, oh, my, why?"
>> > "Why are you taking our Wedding Rings? WHY?"
>> >
>> > But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
>> > He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
>> > "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Shepherd sneered,
>> > "The judges are evil, the other states weird."
>> > "I'll fix the rings there and I'll bring them back here."
>> >
>> > It was quarter past dawn... All the Gays, still a-bed,
>> > all the Gays still a-snooze when he packed up and fled. "Pooh-Pooh to
>> > the Gays!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming. "They're finding out now no
>> > Gay Marriage is coming!" "Their mouths will! hang open a minute or two
>> > then the Gays down in Gayville will all cry Boo-Hoo!"
>> >
>> > He stared down at Gayville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
>> > Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
>> > Every Gay down in Gayville, the tall and the small,
>> > was kissing! Without any bennies at all!
>> > He HADN'T stopped Marriage from coming! IT CAME!
>> > Somehow or other, it came just the same!
>> >
>> > And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood
>> > puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?" "It came without lawyers,
>> > no papers to sort!" "It came without licenses, came without courts!"
>> > And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
>> > Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
>> >
>> > "Maybe Marriage," he thought, "does! n't come from the court. Maybe
>> > Marriage...perhaps... comes right from the heart. Maybe Marriage comes
>> > from all the words the Gays say. Words like Husband, like Wedding, and
>> > Spouse who is Gay." And what happened then...? Well...in Gayville they
>> > say that the Grinch's small brain grew three sizes that day!
>> >
>> > And the Gays had their Weddings. They promised for life.
>> > They swore to be faithful, to Wife and her Wife.
>> > The Husbands were happy, to each other they vowed
>> > To be Out and be Honest, be Gay and be Proud.
>> > They told all their neighbors and friends of their Spouse, They told
>> > of their Marriage and sharing their house. They said "We got Married."
>> > They shouted it loud. Their marital status was "Married and Proud."
>> >
>> > And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
>> > He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light. And he
>> > brought back the rings, cake and Gay birdseed bags! And he... ...HE
>> > HIMSELF... hung the Gay Rainbow Flag! ...
>> > The Lord looked down, at the proud and the tall,
>> > and said "These are my children, and I love them all."


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 9:11am

ROFLOL


That is GREAT! Thanks for sharing!


Hugs,


Ting

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 12:30pm

I absolutely love this, thanks for sharing it lololol.


Judy

Judy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 1:23pm
I lllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike it!! Thanks for sharing it with us. Can I post it on the web site?
Hugs,
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://didoangst.blogspot.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 3:24pm

Laurie,


I think that would be a great idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 8:59pm
Alright, thank you so much!
Hugs,
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://didoangst.blogspot.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/