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| Sun, 12-18-2005 - 11:30pm |
Well, I'm new to this and I just thought that I would give a brief run down of how I got to where I am right now. I'm 21 years old and in a relationship with the most amazing girl. We've been together since April and big steps have been made in regards to my family towards her, but I will get to that in a bit.
I would have to say if any of you asked me when I first started having feelings towards another girl I would have to say it would have been in the summer going into 8th grade. I was really embarrassed and scared by the whole thing and did everything in my power to push it away. I started dating every guy that entered into my life and then when I was ending my 10th grade year in high school, I met a guy that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. But as I look back on that relationship, I realize that it was a relationship that was based solely on the fact that I was hiding from something that I was too scared to let out.
Then I went off to college, and still continued to have the relationship with the man. I was unsure what it was that I was looking for but he seemed to have all the right answers so I stuck with him for 4 years. Well for 3 years I was faithful with him and then this girl entered into my life that I was unsure of. I had strong feelings towards her the moment I met her but wasn't too sure what exactly the feelings were pointing me to. We started to hang out the entire second semester of my sophomore year in college and by the end of the semester we were inseperable and cuddling every night. Then I had my first experience with her in the form of a kiss. I wasn't certain if it was meant to be but after that kiss I knew that the feelings I had been trying so hard to push down and out of my life were now at the surface and I really had no way to hide them. I was head over heels for this girl. We dated for a few months. Things were great and I couldn't have asked for anything more.
Then I realized that I had been hiding my feelings for a girl (my current girlfriend), since the moment I met her because I wasn't sure if I was suppose to have feelings toward her. Then one night, she and I sat down and had a very heart to heart conversation. With which I learned she had been wanting to have with me but was waiting until she and I were drunk to have it because she thought that her feelings would come out to me easier. Well needless to say they flowed out very well that evening. But things didn't really progress until the end of the semester and we were both going in different directions. Her to study abroad over in England and I working at my town pool. We both decided that we would take a break and see where our feelings were when we returned back to school. Needless to say my summer wasn't the best because all I could do was think of her and wonder what it was that she was doing with herself.
We retunred back to school and things didn't pick up right away. Partly because she was scared and partly because I was scared. I was afraid that I was going to get hurt. She and I again sat down and had a very in-depth converstaion and realized that all either of us did over the summer was think about each other. That is when I realized that this girl is meant to be in my life for a very very long time.
I hadn't been able to come out to my mother while I was with the first girl, but I feel she suspected something of the sort, considering she was over or I was over all the time. But when I started to see my current girlfriend, I was able to tell my aunt right away and by the end of the summer I was able to tell my mother and my brother. Both of whom are extremely supportive. I was nervous about telling my brother but that is only because he is very bull headed and if he thinks something is wrong he will voice his opinion.
Things with my girl and I are amazing. We are spending New Year's together and I am very excited because I am actually spending it with someone that I can't seem to get enough of. She completes me like no one and I'm very happy.
My mom was shopping today for Christmas presents and called me up to ask me what she should get my girlfriend. That is the first time she refered to her as my girlfriend and it really made my day because she is accepting me for me and not judging me.
Sorry for the length but I've never really been able to share my story before and am just looking for guidience because I'm really scared that I'm going to lose this one when the school year is all said and done.
Thanks,

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This is such a sweet story. Thank you for posting it here. I hope you will continue to feel free to come back and post some more. There are many women here who are in various stages of being out.
So far your story is a happy one and I hope that it will continue this way for as long as you wish.
I hope you and your girlfriend can be together after school as well.
Please keep us posted.
Laurie
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Welcome to the Board!
How wonderful that everything is going so well.
aka
Welcome carlsojm1414! So glad you're here! Sounds like things are really working out well for you and your g/f, and it's so wonderful that your family is being so supportive. That's a huge, huge step!
My advice is to follow your heart and be true to yourself. Sounds like you aren't trying to force this relationship along, and that's good. Trusting, loving,
Welcome to Lesbian Life Carlsojm!
Pieces of My Life
I am really excited that I am actually able to talk about myself to people. I feel that my friends sometimes get tired of hearing about how happy I really am and how my life is turning around. Mandy, the name of my girlfriend, is the nicest kindest and most caring girl I've ever met. I guess I'm just looking for outside input and guidiance.
Although as happy as she and I are we have a bump in the road that neither of us really know how to go over. She and I just returned home from planned parenthood because she had some what we thought were ingrown hairs in her vagina region. So they ran some tests and we found out that she has HPV. So I went and got tested and came back negative. I just don't know if I will contract the STD from her or what steps I can do to protect myself.
Do you know of any place I can go and get information about protecting myself.
Thank you for your support. My family is really important to me and the fact that they are behind me means a lot to me. The only person that isn't really behind me is my grandmother but I know that will come with time or is just because of her up bringing. It was brought up once at dinner with Mandy sitting across from me. I made a comment about going on a date and my granmother pips up and was like "is he on the rugby team" and I was like yes they are on the rugby team. She was like "not on the guys team" and I was like "ummmm, no" she was like "do you like girls" and i didn't answer. She then proceed to tell me that I don't like girls and that I should get the feeling out of my system and then continued to ask me questions about my ex from the past 4 years. It not only made me feel uncomfortable but made Mandy extremely uncomfortable and she said that she does not want to go to eat with my grandmother again. I don't blame her.
Sorry for my little rant, I'm just really excited that my family is supporting me and that I'm starting a second family here with you and everybody else.
Write soon
Hello Carl, my name is Gigi. I'm sorry that I'm late in saying hello. I'm glad that you are comfortable with this new life. I'm also happier that your family love you and accepts you. Please stay, and play with us. I hope to get to know you even better, as I hope that you get to know us even better.
Welcome again!
Hugs!
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
I'm sorry about the STD scare with your g/f. You may want to check out the STD message board at ivillage (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhsexdisease). I don't know much about HPV, but you can find help there I'm sure. Also, there is an STD Prevention page at the main ivillage health & well-being page (http://health.ivillage.com/gyno/gynostds/topics/0,,4v77,00.html?ice=ivl,searcht). That may also be a helpful resource.
I wish
Thank you for your assistance. I know that if I contract HPV that it happens but I guess I'm willing to take the steps to maybe prevent it for a while longer.
I'm getting really excited because I haven't seen my girlfriend for a week and I miss her. I get to see her in one week. She is coming up to my house which will be a first and I'm a little nervous because I want to show her off to everybody as my girlfriend. My mom is getting excited. If me telling my mom has done anything it has allowed my relationship that once was strained to become a relationship that is going to be amazing and that I'm really excited about. I'm able to talk to her about anything and everything. I even told her about the STD scare and she was extremely understanding and offered to go with me when I got tested. So that meant a lot to me.
I am going to be telling my bestest friend that I have not seen for a very long while and I really am unsure how she will react. I know that she will still love me and that everything will work out but I'm just a little nervous of her initial reaction. But I can't be scared because I'm sure this is something that she knows and is just waiting for me to tell her. Becuase that is how a lot of my friends here at school have reacted. They are like you are just now telling me this, I've known since the moment I met you.
Haha, I am really enjoying myself and am sorry things are sooo long winded. I just get a typing and everything starts a flowing
I love your enthusiasm!
Pieces of My Life
Well, I have a slight problem...I'm allergic to latex are there any other means that might work...and I wouldn't drop kick you across the couch...Just wanting to make sure that I'm being safe.
Thanks !!!
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