Friend issues - please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Friend issues - please help!
11
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 8:32pm

I'm so frustrated right now with one of my friends. He has been interested in me as more than a friend since he met me, but the feeling has never been mutual, and I've made that very clear. He knows that I'm gay and that I have a girlfriend, but he doesn't seem to respect my relationship with her. He is always saying mean things about her to me, and he doesn't even know her. He also says things about how I would be happier with him if I just gave him a chance. I know that men aren't for me, though, and I don't appreciate the way that he treats me or my relationship with my girlfriend. He told me the other day that I'm "just too pretty to be a lesbian," which I don't think should have anything to do with it. I get sick of hearing things like that from men. I don't understand why he can't just accept my friendship and move on. There are lots of straight girls in the world that he could be pursuing. Sometimes I feel like men always want what they can't have, but now I'm just starting to stereotype, so I'll shut up.

I'm sorry for the rant, but I'm beginning to feel like he isn't even a real friend to me, and I'm starting to think about just ending the friendship. I feel as though I've given him a chance, and that if he doesn't respect my sexual orientation and the fact that I'm dedicated to my girlfriend, then maybe he's not worth my time. What do you think? Am I being too harsh? Should I try to gracefully end the friendship?

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Avatar for nursepam2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:01pm

Oh puuuuuuuuhlease!


Dump this dude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:13pm

{{{{{{Pinkie}}}}}}

In my opinion and experience, my true friends both male and female, accept me as I am. I live around a lot of heterosexuals, at least I think I do. I don't know the sexual orientation of everyone that I live around, and it's none of my business. I've been confronted with males that say to me. "Don't you like men?" "You're too fine looking to be a lesbian." "Why do you want to dress like and look like a man, your too hot looking."

I've heard it all and you're going to continue to hear that. Stand up for yourself and don't back down. If this so-called male friend of yours was a true friend, then he would back up off of you and respect you and not say negative things about your girlfriend.

I'm also thinking that he wants you to be with him and him only, If he were a true friend, he wouldn't do anything to sabatage(sp) all that you have done and will do in the future. How many friends do you have here at LL? I know you want to have all of us right there, defending you. But think of it this way, this guy must be pretty jealous that you're not spending all of you time with him and you're focused on your studies and your honey. Stand up to him and tell him to back off. If he doesn't, then stop being friends with him. Make him think about the good friend that he has/had in you. Make him think about his self-centeredness and his ego.

You still have me as a friend.

Hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:25pm
Thanks for the great advice and the much needed wake up call! You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself! *hugs*
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:28pm

And I'm very glad that I have you as a friend, because you have definitely always been a great friend to me! *hugs*

I think you are right that my supposed guy friend is probably a pretty jealous person. I try not to talk to my girlfriend about how much his unwanted advances bother me, but she knows they do anyway, and it upsets her. I really don't want to let him drive a wedge in my relationship with her.

Do you think it would be too rude if I just stopped talking to him or do you think I should give him an explanation?

I hope that you are having a great night! Thanks again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:36pm
Dump him, he is not much of a friend. He is biding his time to try to win you over.
Hugs,
Laurie
Check out my new blog.
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
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Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:55pm
Hey Pink.. I say you,ve gotton great advice from everyone here so far and I give all the advice you got the thumbs up

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 11:01pm

He doesn't deserve an explanation. He lost that priviledge when he decided to ignore your sweetheart and just take your friendship for granted. Just kick him to the curb!

Hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 10:03am
Thanks! I think that you are right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 10:05am
Everyone did give me some really good advice. I hope that you are having a great day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 10:06am
I think that you are right. Thanks for being so wonderful to me!

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