Cat, you are important to me and everyone here. In all of my relationships I have always been the honest one. There was one incident in my life. When I found out that my girlfriend/wife of years ago was pregnant with our child. She went to a concert to see Randy Travis/Reba McIntyre. I had gotten her the ticket and she went with a mutual friend of ours. I didn't go, because I wanted her to have a good time. And not to mention I trusted her.
Usually, I don't go out on a Sunday night, it's very seldom to rare that I do it. Well, this particular night, I decided to go out. I went to the gay bar, there weren't too many people, and the the dance floor was open and there was at least one bartender upstairs and of course, the dj.
Well, either there were some women up there already or they appeared out of nowhere. I was dancing with my back to the door, with my eyes closed. My first mistake. When I opened my eyes, there was this woman offering herself to me. I smiled and shook my head and I backed away. I was going to be a "dad" in 9 months. I had no intention of going out, I had no desire to dance with or be around any other women. Our relationship before that night, was rocky as hell. The reason? She wasn't honest with me, everytime I turned around there was an argument about this, that or the other. I decided to sit back on the enormous speaker and just watch them dance. I looked at the glass door and I saw her coming up the stairs. She had this look on her face like she was saying, "Oh, sorry." I moved off of that dance floor and away from those women like they were fire. I ran after her and I begged and pleaded. I told her that I wasn't doing anything wrong, and I wasn't!
When we got home we had a big and loud argument. After the argument, we calmed down and we made up. She never let that night go, I couldn't be around anyone. One night, during her pregnancy, she wasn't home. She was out all night long, what did she do? She calls me and naturally, I'm angry and furious. What's the difference? Remember I told you, before she was pregnant, our relationship was rocky. She was with her friends and she was rude, nasty and ignorant with me. She didn't come home in the same night and when she did come home, the next morning, she was still argumentative, nasty and ignorant. I didn't say anything to her the whole week, nor did I go anywhere near her. Sleeping in bed with her was like an exercise in restraint, I didn't hold her or touch her at all. And that's not me. She wasn't at peace with me for the nine months that she was pregnant. (Yes, I know hormones and all of that). I was a nervous wreck and I was very short-tempered the whole time.
How does this apply? If you can't be at peace with each other, if there's just one instance of wondering and questioning, from either one of you. Then as Pam suggested, either go into couples counseling or leave each other. No one, should torment, mentally and emotionally abuse the other. If she can't be honest with herself and do something about her attitude and show you that she doesn't want to hide things or her friends from you, then what's the point of you two staying together? There's a butch out there that will love you, be honest, completely honest with you, treat you with respect, and help you be happy in all respects.
I'm still in your corner, my friendship for you is unconditional. In my opinion, you should leave her, get over her, and find someone that will do all of the above things.
(((Nony)) thanks for elaborating<(Spelling?) on that which I didn't understand.. As for ~S~ forming close relationships,to be honest with you Nony she never did in the 8 years we have been together.. ~S~ for some reason has some kind if arua whatever,that she must give off to people, or the way she looks (The Bucth) and most people that do begin liking her end up not so.. And a lot just don't like her.. Now she has most times a very quiet polite helpful for the most part personality..If helpful can be a personality I dunno.. But that just isn't her Ya know?.. There's usually no basis for people not taking to her and then I suppose for some there is.. But.. Having friends is fine with me, but when she starts acting like I am invading her space, all uptight about me and talking to me, Secretive stuff as you said then something just isn;t right.. It isn't right..Yes she certainaly should know these latest acts would have upset me and especially after all I have been through in last months working on trusting again.. Then BAM!
In fact, tell me she's saying 'you don't trust me' or ' can't I even have friends?' or 'I can't take your insecurity' and I'll come over there and beat her for you. She put you in this place, she needs to put in the right amount of time and effort to help you come out of it. And what's happening now.. ain't it.
* This is exactally what is happening.. What you stated above from your post.. She says she will help me wants to help me and listen but.. It doesn't occur.. I cry,She says talk to me.. Tell me what it is I can do.. I won't get upset......
How does this apply? If you can't be at peace with each other, if there's just one instance of wondering and questioning, from either one of you. Then as Pam suggested, either go into couples counseling or leave each other. No one, should torment, mentally and emotionally abuse the other. If she can't be honest with herself and do something about her attitude and show you that she doesn't want to hide things or her friends from you, then what's the point of you two staying together? There's a butch out there that will love you, be honest, completely honest with you, treat you with respect, and help you be happy in all respects.
Ya Know.. I was in a bad abusive(sometimes physically,sometimes mentally, sometimes verbaly)
Ok, I can understand that you don't just want to throw away 8 years. If you can work through this and come out on the other side ok and without too many scars or too many bad feelings and have no more doubts, then as a respectful Knight, I bow to you.
I'll repeat this though, no one deserves to be confused about her partner's actions or made to feel like they are responsible for their(meaning ~S~"s) obvious wrong behavior. Honesty should come from the heart, mind and soul. ~S~ knows all that goes on with you, no one else should be in the picture. From the beginning, she should have put a stop from all of the attention, that she knows (or should have known)it would have caused you to be even more upset. She should have been more attentive, affectionate and loving. Not after the fact, but before.
But, I'm still your friend, I'm still in your corner, and I'm your friend, unconditionally.
Sorry Cat, I didn't explain myself very clearly there. Let's see if I can do better...
It sounds as if your S
Cat, you are important to me and everyone here. In all of my relationships I have always been the honest one. There was one incident in my life. When I found out that my girlfriend/wife of years ago was pregnant with our child. She went to a concert to see Randy Travis/Reba McIntyre. I had gotten her the ticket and she went with a mutual friend of ours. I didn't go, because I wanted her to have a good time. And not to mention I trusted her.
Usually, I don't go out on a Sunday night, it's very seldom to rare that I do it. Well, this particular night, I decided to go out. I went to the gay bar, there weren't too many people, and the the dance floor was open and there was at least one bartender upstairs and of course, the dj.
Well, either there were some women up there already or they appeared out of nowhere. I was dancing with my back to the door, with my eyes closed. My first mistake. When I opened my eyes, there was this woman offering herself to me. I smiled and shook my head and I backed away. I was going to be a "dad" in 9 months. I had no intention of going out, I had no desire to dance with or be around any other women. Our relationship before that night, was rocky as hell. The reason? She wasn't honest with me, everytime I turned around there was an argument about this, that or the other. I decided to sit back on the enormous speaker and just watch them dance. I looked at the glass door and I saw her coming up the stairs. She had this look on her face like she was saying, "Oh, sorry." I moved off of that dance floor and away from those women like they were fire. I ran after her and I begged and pleaded. I told her that I wasn't doing anything wrong, and I wasn't!
When we got home we had a big and loud argument. After the argument, we calmed down and we made up. She never let that night go, I couldn't be around anyone. One night, during her pregnancy, she wasn't home. She was out all night long, what did she do? She calls me and naturally, I'm angry and furious. What's the difference? Remember I told you, before she was pregnant, our relationship was rocky. She was with her friends and she was rude, nasty and ignorant with me. She didn't come home in the same night and when she did come home, the next morning, she was still argumentative, nasty and ignorant. I didn't say anything to her the whole week, nor did I go anywhere near her. Sleeping in bed with her was like an exercise in restraint, I didn't hold her or touch her at all. And that's not me. She wasn't at peace with me for the nine months that she was pregnant. (Yes, I know hormones and all of that). I was a nervous wreck and I was very short-tempered the whole time.
How does this apply? If you can't be at peace with each other, if there's just one instance of wondering and questioning, from either one of you. Then as Pam suggested, either go into couples counseling or leave each other. No one, should torment, mentally and emotionally abuse the other. If she can't be honest with herself and do something about her attitude and show you that she doesn't want to hide things or her friends from you, then what's the point of you two staying together? There's a butch out there that will love you, be honest, completely honest with you, treat you with respect, and help you be happy in all respects.
I'm still in your corner, my friendship for you is unconditional. In my opinion, you should leave her, get over her, and find someone that will do all of the above things.
{{{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}}}}}
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
I'm not a regulare here as much as others are, and I don't know all the ins and outs of your story..but I did read your posts
>The finances and such can be overwhelming, when they're intertwined.
Pieces of My Life
>I want you to know today started out bad but I made it.. I went to work and had some happiness in me
This is such a huge thing, Cuz, to know that even with the bad stuff, you can hang on to something good inside yourself.
Pieces of My Life
As for ~S~ forming close relationships,to be honest with you Nony she never did in the 8 years we have been together.. ~S~ for some reason has some kind if arua whatever,that she must give off to people, or the way she looks (The Bucth) and most people that do begin liking her end up not so.. And a lot just don't like her.. Now she has most times a very quiet polite helpful for the most part personality..If helpful can be a personality I dunno.. But that just isn't her Ya know?.. There's usually no basis for people not taking to her and then I suppose for some there is.. But.. Having friends is fine with me, but when she starts acting like I am invading her space, all uptight about me and talking to me, Secretive stuff as you said then something just isn;t right.. It isn't right..Yes she certainaly should know these latest acts would have upset me and especially after all I have been through in last months working on trusting again.. Then BAM!
In fact, tell me she's saying 'you don't trust me' or ' can't I even have friends?' or 'I can't take your insecurity' and I'll come over there and beat her for you. She put you in this place, she needs to put in the right amount of time and effort to help you come out of it. And what's happening now.. ain't it.
* This is exactally what is happening.. What you stated above from your post.. She says she will help me wants to help me and listen but.. It doesn't occur.. I cry,She says talk to me.. Tell me what it is I can do.. I won't get upset......
C >^. A .
How does this apply? If you can't be at peace with each other, if there's just one instance of wondering and questioning, from either one of you. Then as Pam suggested, either go into couples counseling or leave each other. No one, should torment, mentally and emotionally abuse the other. If she can't be honest with herself and do something about her attitude and show you that she doesn't want to hide things or her friends from you, then what's the point of you two staying together? There's a butch out there that will love you, be honest, completely honest with you, treat you with respect, and help you be happy in all respects.
Ya Know.. I was in a bad abusive(sometimes physically,sometimes mentally, sometimes verbaly)
C >^. A .
{{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}
Ok, I can understand that you don't just want to throw away 8 years. If you can work through this and come out on the other side ok and without too many scars or too many bad feelings and have no more doubts, then as a respectful Knight, I bow to you.
I'll repeat this though, no one deserves to be confused about her partner's actions or made to feel like they are responsible for their(meaning ~S~"s) obvious wrong behavior. Honesty should come from the heart, mind and soul. ~S~ knows all that goes on with you, no one else should be in the picture. From the beginning, she should have put a stop from all of the attention, that she knows (or should have known)it would have caused you to be even more upset. She should have been more attentive, affectionate and loving. Not after the fact, but before.
But, I'm still your friend, I'm still in your corner, and I'm your friend, unconditionally.
{{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce