Okay ... input please..*Smiles~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Okay ... input please..*Smiles~
9
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 1:24am

I have


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 4:57am

{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}

You have the right to ask as many questions as you want. If you have suspicions clear them up. It would be totally wrong for me to put my honey through what ~S~ is putting you through. If she wants to make things right then she should be able to answer all of your question honestly and without attitude. Since she couldn't be honest with you to be begin with, then she shouldn't have an issue with answering your questions, but to be sure she has to look you in the eyes. Remember the eyes are the windows of the soul.

The only woman that gets anything from me as far as a Valentine's Day present is my honey bunny. That includes little stuffed animals, cards, her favorite perfume, candy kisses, intimate clothing, all of it. If she's just a friend, a friendly Happy Valentine's Day greeting is and should be enough. Anything beyond that is not appropriate. If I know that a friend's mom had died and I felt sorry for her, a sympathy card with just my name would be appropriate.

Ask ~S~ what and who the (me) is. Ask a question, get an honest answer.

If you want the answers to your questions, it's not a good idea to threaten to leave her, unless you really plan to. No games, remember? I can't really say as far as the kissing and hugging thing. If they allow the employees at ~S~'s job to be affectionate with each other, interesting job, lol! If you're really suspicious, have ~S~ bring her work clothes home, so you can smell for perfume or check for lipstick on her collar. Ok, now I'm getting ridiculous! lol!

Maybe you should become a private detective, lol! Or maybe you should make ~S~ sit down and give her an ultimatum, either tell you everything that you want to know (now understand, you asked for the truth, that doesn't mean that you can't get upset about it, just take it as she gives it.)or you're going to leave. No games, no mind games or emotional games, and no head games. From either of you. If you want the truth ask, if you can handle the truth, be prepared. The both of you are going in a circle with this and it's making me dizzy, lol!

I'm still here for you, I'm still in your corner, you are still my friend, unconditionally.

{{{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}}}

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 8:32am

Hi CAT,

I read this and it rips my gut. I can sort of feel what you are feeling. Though, I know I haven't enough experience to truly understand. (((((CAT)))))

I don't know ~S~ well enough to really pin point why she has the reactions that she is displaying towards you. I will comment that most of the time when someone is defensive in regard to the subject matter you mention at hand, it does sometimes point to guilt. But, notice I type the word, "sometimes." She also lacks sleep alot of times and she has been going off a medication. Those elements could cause iritability and apathy.

Her actions aren't the best. She has made some bad decisions in my humble opinion. I would NOT purchase a Valentine's Day gift for any reason without letting the woman in my life know about it. That to me, was a very bad decision. I don't know, maybe it was innocent and she thought that telling you would upset you. But, the bottom line is that she should have included you in all her friendships.

You deserve to have your questions answered and she should sit down with you and get this all out. I personally would want to answer your questions and get things out so there could be a "moving on" process. Her avoiding your questions and getting defensive is only adding fuel to the distrust fire.

I don't know the both of you on a daily personal basis, so it hard for me to give you sound, concrete advice. But, I do believe that you must sit down and get all of this out in the open. If the both of you cannot come to that process, perhaps you should consider a third party like a therapist. Until your questions are answered and she opens up, this distrust and hurt will continue fester. That is unhealthy both emotionally and physically for you.

I don't know much about the private detective stuff. I would like to type, please be careful in regard to that. Sometimes in life when you must go to extremes you already know your answer.

I care about you and will be keeping you in my thoughts. I truly hope things begin to improve. You deserve that and much more.

Your friend and gentle hugs,

bf

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 9:43am

Hey Cat,


As I read this, all I can think is not whether you should be asking her questions ( of course you can) but that you and ~S~ should be sharing all this stuff naturally with out need for interragation on anyone's part.

Communication is the key to any strong relationship.

 *Hugs ~  Caly

aka  

Avatar for nursepam2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 12:18pm

(((((((Cat)))))))


I think you have the right to ask as many questions as you like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 1:12pm

Hey

                                          

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 2:21pm

I've gotta agree with nursepam on this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 12:20am
Hi All.. Want to read about todays happenings? Blog spot please.. I am tired so will make it short..*Sigh..
((((Hugs))))) Will be back perhaps to answer these posts later or another day..
((((((((Hugs all))))))


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 9:25am

Sorry I haven't replied, Cat. I'll catch up with your blog. Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and to send big hugs (((((Cat)))))


Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 10:20pm
((((((((Hugs Ting))))))) Thanks~~~~~~


 C  >^. A .