Caly's New "Question of the Week"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2004
Caly's New "Question of the Week"
11
Sun, 04-30-2006 - 5:20pm

I didn't want Caly's new question to get missed under the previous QOTW post...

ARE YOU READY TO BE "OUT"? WHY OR WHY NOT?

Personally, I am ready to be out. Although I'm not totally there, I'm working on coming out more & more all the time. I am already out to my family and close friends, I have a rainbow sticker on my car, and I wear a HRC pin on my ID tag at work. I don't discuss being a lesbian with people at work, and I would guess most people don't really know. They may suspect, but no one has asked me as of yet. I would be honest if they did. I decided a while back that I would not hide it from anyone who asked because I want people to know it's not something I'm ashamed of at all. I do worry about possible negative reactions at work because I teach elementary kids in a small, rather conservative town. But another part of me feels like I shouldn't have to worry. If the administration wasn't supportive, then really, why would I want to work in that type of setting?

My kids know I'm gay, of course. After all, we're buying a house with my girlfriend. I don't think they talk about it with most of their friends, however, and I feel that's totally their decision to make. I've told them they are welcome to tell people whatever makes them more comfortable. They know I am proud of who I am, but if they feel better saying Rose is just my roommate, that's fine. Rose's kids are shy about it too, especially her teenage son. It's hard being a teen though, so I understand.

On the other hand, Rose & I are good friends with a local lesbian couple and one of them has a teenage daughter who is completely open about it. She is totally proud of her mom and is active in the gay alliance group at her high school. She's a popular, pretty girl, a cheerleader, etc. and I am so impressed that she was brave enough to move to this town a year ago and be totally upfront with her classmates about her mom. That had to be a scary decision...what if she wasn't accepted by her new peers? Luckily, they seemed to admire how she stood up for gay rights instead.

I just finished reading Chastity Bono's book "Family Outing" -- and I think it's made me want to be more out. I think more people need to see that lesbians don't fall into just a certain stereotype. We are every woman...and there are many of us. I had one friend tell me (when I came out to her last year) that she never thought she'd have anything in common with a gay person. But she and I were friends for a long time before she knew I was a lesbian. She told me it opened her eyes to see that lesbians really are just regular people...mothers, friends, etc. That made me proud and made me want to show other people the same thing.

Sorry I got so wordy, ladies. (I think I'm just avoiding packing my house cause it's so boring!)

Jules

Jules

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 04-30-2006 - 11:20pm

ARE YOU READY TO BE "OUT"? WHY OR WHY NOT?


OMG. I never really "came out". Somehow everyone around me - family, friends, aquaintances - knew. My mom actually tricked me into coming out to her by telling me that she thought my brother was gay. After she listed specific details, I knew that she was talking about me. Anyhoo, I ended up saying "mom. I know you are talking about me. And yes, I am." Coming out to my dad was a different (and more interesting) story.


I cannot remember if I came out to my brother or my sister first. But after seeing the love in thier eyes after telling them who I was, after realizing that no matter what - I was still thier "big sis"...noone else's opinion mattered. I am ready to come out to anyone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 7:20am

Hey Jules!


That question really wasnt a "new" one, I was just trying to keep last week's discussion going my taking it in a new direction. I am however sooo glad you answered it!


You sound like you are in the same place I am. I am "out" at work with out ever having declared myself a Lesbian or talking about it much.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 7:26am

Woot Beth!


That was what I was referring to when I talked about "showing" people rather then telling them.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 2:54am

Hi :)


I've been out for a long time, but it is easier here (Canada).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 7:09am

Hi to you Willa!


Glad you popped in to say Hi!

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 7:09pm

Hi, and thanks! :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 8:56pm

Hi willa :)


I wondered if you'd ever find your way over here to LL. I lurk the debate boards (cos I can't debate.. lol) but have always appreciated the way you represent yourself. It's nice to meet you.


~ Nony

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 9:46pm
ARE YOU READY TO BE "OUT"? WHY OR WHY NOT?
----- I am out and so is Sheila. We always introduce each other as partner etc.
Most people we know introduce us like that too.
I could care less if someone has a problem with it. If they do, it is their problem not our's.
We like to be treated and known as a couple not as singles. I also hate living that double life and just couldn't do it anymore. I have been out for over 20 years now.
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 7:09am

That is soo awesome Laurie!

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 8:54am

It's wonderful that you and Sheila are so comfortable showing your true relationship, that's the way it should be.


Great to see you here, friend. Hope things are going ok with you and yours.


Hugs


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