Just venting..... no need for a response

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Just venting..... no need for a response
10
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 1:21am

Hello ladies, I need to vent a bit. Maybe it's because it's Auntie Flo making me more sensitive than usual, but I'm getting tired of all of the feelings of being excluded. I came to this community as a lesbian. In the back of my mind, I've known that I'm male. It's not just an insistance that I be accepted, loved or anything else. As people that are unique in our orientation, we have this tendency to forget where we come from.

We have this tendency, to treat those of us that are looking for honest acceptance, like we're part of a different crowd. Some of us have to rude about being a part of the group and some of us go about it very quietly and politely. All of the quizes that asks you what kind of lover you are, blah, blah, blah, is in my opinion are all inclusive. But, when I share my answer, which I've always done, is always responded to with respect and friendliness. But, and maybe I'm guilty of it, it seems like I'm being "treated" differently. I don't flirt like I used to because for one, I'm very conscience of the fact, that y'all don't know how to take me just yet.

Maybe you'd like to ask me some questions and y'all are a bit shy.(and I've never known anyone here, to be shy) Well one, and I will leave her nameless (and I suggest that she not reveal herself)has been respectful enough to ask me questions. Granted she has done it in the form of an email, (and I'd like to keep it that way)but she chats with me, nonetheless. When I share about my experiences about being a guy, I'm sharing my thoughts feelings and attitudes, as I see them.

MY thoughts as a Man doesn't and shouldn't have to reflect on my butch sisters here. When I read someone's blog, I can understand where and what's going on, usually on the butch's behalf. Mainly, because I've been in her shoes. But not the one causing the pain and sadness. Remember topsy turvy? Usually, and sometimes, I'm only kidding and joking around. But most of the time, I'm not. (I know you can't tell, but, I try not to "say" anything I don't mean.) If you can't relate to it, don't worry. If it isn't you, let it go by.

As I have stated, I'm the same person as I was when everyone "met" me. So, when I give my opinion, if it's asked for either here, or in an email, or on my frapper blog, then I will give it. I only say, "....as a man..." When I feel like I'm being excluded, and I know everyone here knows how it feels to be excluded because of what they are.

In MY mind, in MY spirit and in MY soul, I'm a guy. I know it feels funny to you to think of me as a guy and are a bit hesitant to speak to me. Think about how I feel. My whole thought process is changing and not to mention, I have to be more careful and conscience about how I speak to each and everyone here, it ain't easy! lol! It's ok if you call me dude or any male nicknames. I won't take any offense, believe me I won't.

This does not reflect on anyone, so if you take offense to this post, please forgive me. I'm just tired of being excluded. If you understand what I'm saying, then please stop.

I will admit, that when the change of the name of this folder (GLBT) came to pass, it was mainly because I didn't want to face myself as a transgender. But, I embrace myself.

Thanks for letting me get this out from under my skin.....

Sebastian.
Edited 5/6/2006 1:22 am ET by igentleheart




Edited 5/6/2006 1:23 am ET by igentleheart

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 2:17am

Sebastian,


I'm sorry you feel this way. This transition is tough, for everyone. It's not something people have to deal with everyday but hopefully everyone will handle it to the best of their ability. We all know you as the loyal friend, calling you "Gigi the lesbian" or "Sebastian the man" shouldn't be the defining factor here. You are a friend to all the people at LL, and have many friends here.


One thing that might make you feel excluded is that this is a community of women - so the words "he" and "his" and male topics won't come up much. Try to remember that

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 7:38am

Thanks Sandra. I can appreciate your honesty. But this post wasn't directed towards anyone in particular. And I completely understand what your saying. I still think as female at times, that will never change. I know the male pronouns are a bit of an offense, but that's how I would like be to refer to as.

Even though I'm not going anywhere, why would I leave? I'll just be a bit more understanding about how y'all feel. Patience and understanding do exist in my vocabulary.

But at times I will post things, but not male-centered, but as appropriate. Again, thanks for your loving honesty.

Hugs,

Sebastian




Edited 5/6/2006 9:29 am ET by igentleheart

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 12:32pm

Sebastian,


I think I can speak for the majority of us here when I say, we would never intentionally exclude anyone for any reason. I know TiNG and I work very hard to keep this a safe and nuturing place for us all. I will admit at times after years of hanging out at the iVillage site, which is primarily a womens network,I forget

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 1:28pm


Thanks Caly, I don't think that anyone would be prying. I'm an open book kind of guy. I usually will let folks know if they're getting too personal. As I'm well aware that guys post here at iVillage, and they lurk as well, I've "chatted" with a few. Since there isn't a transgender community in iVillage, as far as I know, this place is a very comfortable place for me to be.

But as I always have, I will always respect women. I just had to do what I had to do for myself, to make myself more comfortable in my skin. But thanks for the suggestion.

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2005
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 1:39pm

Sebastian,


You know I don't always respond to posts, but I feel compelled to "talk" to you.

Carol,  In love with the most beautiful woman in the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 1:50pm

Thanks Kacey. I think I will >sigh< keep a journal. I can't speak as frankly as I like to but that's ok. At least you don't have to go my frapper everyone can stay right here. But I won't lose my sweetness or my sense of humor. I'm always interested in what you say, there may be times I don't understand, but I always try to keep an open mind and read what you have to say, until I understand it. But I do enjoy what you do say and, of course, that includes Helo.

Thanks Kacey and hugs!

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 7:12pm

((((((((Sebastian)))))))))


I agree with Caly, Sandra, and Kacey and won't rewrite what they said, but I want you to know that I'm so glad you are here, and I want to know more about your journey too. I for one am not offended when you refer to yourself as a man.


I admire you for being true to yourself...it's something I think that everyone should strive for. We can all learn a lot from you.


I'm sure it's taking time for some of us to readjust our perception of you because we've known you as a woman for so long. It's like a paradigm shift, and that's a GOOD thing. Growing and changing, however uncomfortable they can be, are very important. I never want to stop growing and changing.


So, I hope you will continue to be who you are, and I hope we can help make you feel comfortable being the wonderful man that you have become.


Lots of hugs coming your way...


Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 7:26pm

Thank you Kirche, the female side of me still exists. That part will never die. I'll be myself always. Thank you for the warm and wonderful words. Always remember I'll answer any question, if it's too personal, then I'll bypass it.

Lots of hugs coming your way also..

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 1:33am

Hiya Sebastian,

First, I'll flirt with you any old day. *wink* I'm one of those who's all about the person, and not so much about the gender..but then my story is a bit odd, so I have some understanding of not quite feeling like I always fit into a slot....
Course, I'm always willing to creat a slot, open my arms wide, and say..HEY WORLD..here I am. Love me!

I think when people we know go through changes, no matter what the changes, we sometimes tend to sit back a little and wait...for a a few reasons. We don't want to step on toes, we don't want to intrude on privacy, we don't want to innundate someone dealing with some big changes with a lot of questions.

I personally, have been following your journey with interest, and cheering you on. It's a huge thing to respond to the self that has been inside, rather than try to deny it. I think you have courage, and grace, and a wicked grin when needed.

You have my email..use it any time.

Sherri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 9:26am

Thanks Sherri. I'm going to continue to flirt with you. *wink, lol! I just don't want go over any boundaries. And I will most definately use your e-mail addy.

Hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce