hello to all

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2006
hello to all
6
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 11:03pm

hello to all,
i have posted before but not for a very long time. i have been with my wife now for two
years and last christmas eve we had a beautiful little girl....
my family has been okay with the situation of my wife and i , however, when we brought a child into our family some of them have gotten really mad...
my grandmother told me she loves me, my wife and our child but hopes that i will either come to my senses and marry a man or put my now 5 month old daughter up for adoption...

recently my wife took our daughter to see her mother and her mother would not even touch the baby... when asked why not..... the answer was that she was not her granddaughter since she had not carried her...

we decided to make a life changeing situation because of these things combined...we moved to washington to live with my mother who i had not seen for 11 years...

i am worried about how all of this could affect our child by not having the support she needs as she grows..also with as much as i love my wife i dont know how to help her deal with the rejection of her family towards myself, our daughter and herself...

any addvice would be very very helpful

thanks ,
april

Avatar for nursepam2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 11:11pm

(((((April)))))


This is a heartbreaking situation but it is not without hope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 11:25pm
Hi ((((April))))) and Welcome back... Congrats on your

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 11:38pm

April,


My heart sank reading your post.


I cannot imagine what it would do to me if those I loved the most in this world did not accept the most significant parts of who I am. I could not imagine my family telling me that my child either deserved a father or to be put up for adoption. More so, I could not imagine my soon-to-be wife having a baby, taking the child to see my parents, and them turning away from this beautiful being.


I know that I am not making this any easier. But, for a second I tried to put myself in your shoes just so I could maybe give you some advice.


I do, however, think you did the best thing by moving away from your grandmother and her family. Unfortunately, they will not be a positive influence on your daughter's life unless they change. Perhaps they may come around someday, but there is also a big possibility that they will not. Honestly, that saddens me more than you know. Family ties are so important to me - and I am not saying that I have the most functional family by any means, but in the end we all stand up for each other and love each other no matter what. That is what your daughter deserves.


You and your wife have alot ahead of you in raising this child. Leaving your unaccepting family members behind

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 12:26am

Congratulations to you and your wife on the new baby! I am sorry to hear things aren't ideal but, like others have said - you can find family for your child. I raised my daughter in Oklahoma, my family is all in Pennsylvania, she didn't see them much - a couple times a year. Here in Oklahoma she has many "grandparents" - it's interesting to me how people step up when needed. Meet your neighbors, join a church, look for PFLAG meetings - there will be people who would be proud to be fill in family!


As for your families of origin, if they don't come around it will be their loss.


Nice to see you here I hope you keep coming back....keep us posted.


Hugs,

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 7:08am

Hi April,


Welcome to the board.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 3:38pm

Hi April, and welcome back! I remember when you first posted. I'm sorry things have not gotten better with your families. And I know it hurts to be rejected like that.


Regarding your child having the support she needs, you and your wife are giving her that, and I'm sure you will have friends and members of your family who are supportive and will be there for her too. Hopefully, your wife's family will come around at some point in the future.


I'm sure that your love for your wife

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