oh kitty cat, I know exactly what you are saying and feeling.
The last time I saw sweetfeets, I could still feel his love for me despite the guard he is already building.
Don't question your decisions or your feelings. Just be grateful that you do have contact with your boys and that you are still an influence on them. That is what really matters.
You have been an inspiration to me since the first time I found LL (maybe you don't recall, but my very first post ever was to you).
(((((hugs))))) old friend. Please stop doubting yourself. You are as good of a mother as I am, and I know in my heart that we are the best - and someday our boys will know that too.
You do not give yourself the credit that you truly deserve. We have all made mistakes. You know, when I first came to this board, the first person who reached out to me was you. No one else sensed my need for a friendship. You were the first. You have this amazing intuitive ability. Not everyone has that.
I'm not a mother but I'll throw this out here because it popped into my head. What if you establish some sort of routine with your boys? Like for example, communicating with them once or twice a month either in person, phone, or via the Internet. Make it routine enough that it is almost like clock work. I think that routine builds sense of dependability. And, as dependability grows, an openness to gravitate toward you has a greater possibility.
You need to begin believing that you are a good mom because you are. Work on your confidence in that area. Be proud of yourself and don’t feel the need to apologize for being a lesbian. There isn’t anything wrong with your sexual orientation. That does not affect your ability to be a good mother. I grew up with two heterosexual parents and felt unloved the entire 18 years. Sexual orientation is a small slice of the person’s entire identity pie. Make no apologies for who you are.
Be your own best friend. Be your own cheerleader. Believe in yourself.
There's not much else I can add to all the wonderful thoughts and words that have already been expressed. I agree with what everyone has said. You have done nothing but love them, and they will always know that, even if they don't say it. I wonder if your ex's heavy hand is causing your son to be guarded. At least he is willing to communicate, though, and I totally agree with RJ that a routine would probably be good.
Just be yourself! I think that's what our children want and need from us.
Wow *Smiles you all are making me *Smile big* and feel good.. I was the first one to reach out to you?.. I am a trip (cause I guess I should remember that stuff).. Thanks for telling me that.... I guess my memory is a bit weak these days.. Must be all that hormone stuff or stress.. I am glad I sensed your feelings back then... I oft times do with you as you know through our e-mails.. Your advice is good about
(((Hugs Cuz)))) I do love them.. and yes.. I listen to them openly and accept their feelings cause they are important.. They after all didn't get to the way they are on their own.. I understand how important it is to listen to them and not judge them.. Your words about his feeding their sense of abandonment by keeping me from communicating with them
I wanted to say (and you don't have to reply back)...
There have been many other times that you have reached out to me and knew what was bothering me before I even told you. I think that is a gift you have. But, I also think that some of that gift is enhanced by your kindess, caring attitude, and openness to listen. Those are all excellent character traits but they are also what makes a good mother. And, you are a good mother.
Don't forget that. And, if you do, I'll remind you.
Pages
oh kitty cat, I know exactly what you are saying and feeling.
The last time I saw sweetfeets, I could still feel his love for me despite the guard he is already building.
Don't question your decisions or your feelings. Just be grateful that you do have contact with your boys and that you are still an influence on them. That is what really matters.
You have been an inspiration to me since the first time I found LL (maybe you don't recall, but my very first post ever was to you).
(((((hugs))))) old friend. Please stop doubting yourself. You are as good of a mother as I am, and I know in my heart that we are the best - and someday our boys will know that too.
<IMG SRC="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/neryp/lesbboard.jpg" WIDTH=165 HEIGHT=143 BORDER=0 ALT="" USEMAP="#lesbboard_Map">
<MAP NAME="lesbboard_
(((((((CAT)))))))
Hi,
You do not give yourself the credit that you truly deserve. We have all made mistakes. You know, when I first came to this board, the first person who reached out to me was you. No one else sensed my need for a friendship. You were the first. You have this amazing intuitive ability. Not everyone has that.
I'm not a mother but I'll throw this out here because it popped into my head. What if you establish some sort of routine with your boys? Like for example, communicating with them once or twice a month either in person, phone, or via the Internet. Make it routine enough that it is almost like clock work. I think that routine builds sense of dependability. And, as dependability grows, an openness to gravitate toward you has a greater possibility.
You need to begin believing that you are a good mom because you are. Work on your confidence in that area. Be proud of yourself and don’t feel the need to apologize for being a lesbian. There isn’t anything wrong with your sexual orientation. That does not affect your ability to be a good mother. I grew up with two heterosexual parents and felt unloved the entire 18 years. Sexual orientation is a small slice of the person’s entire identity pie. Make no apologies for who you are.
Be your own best friend. Be your own cheerleader. Believe in yourself.
Happy Birthday to your oldest!
Hugs,
-firebird-
(((((((Cat)))))))
You're a great mother.
Pieces of My Life
Cat,
I think you handled it perfectly. I know from having a boy myself that most times they just want to talk and have you listen and that if you
(((((((Cat))))))))))))
There's not much else I can add to all the wonderful thoughts and words that have already been expressed. I agree with what everyone has said. You have done nothing but love them, and they will always know that, even if they don't say it. I wonder if your ex's heavy hand is causing your son to be guarded. At least he is willing to communicate, though, and I totally agree with RJ that a routine would probably be good.
Just be yourself! I think that's what our children want and need from us.
Big hugs...
(((Beth))) Gee Really? No.. I didn't remember your first post was to me... Thats cool *Smiles...
C >^. A .
Your advice is good about
C >^. A .
(((Hugs Cuz)))) I do love them.. and yes.. I listen to them openly and accept their feelings cause they are important.. They after all didn't get to the way they are on their own.. I understand how important it is to listen to them and not judge them.. Your words about his feeding their sense of abandonment by keeping me from communicating with them
C >^. A .
I wanted to say (and you don't have to reply back)...
There have been many other times that you have reached out to me and knew what was bothering me before I even told you. I think that is a gift you have. But, I also think that some of that gift is enhanced by your kindess, caring attitude, and openness to listen. Those are all excellent character traits but they are also what makes a good mother. And, you are a good mother.
Don't forget that. And, if you do, I'll remind you.
Hugs from a friend,
-firebird-
C >^. A .
Pages