Question of the Week for 7/10-7/16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Question of the Week for 7/10-7/16
19
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:18am

With a 15 yo in the house in addition to a dramatic 8.5 yo and sometimes whiny 4.5 yo, life has been pretty hectic lately. I'm learning a lot about parenting a teenager, that's for sure! Caly and I have been talking a lot about the changes he is going through, so we thought life as a teenager might be a good topic to discuss here.


What was your life like as a teenager? Specifically, were you given a lot of freedom or were your parents strict? Did you rebel? If you were out as a lesbian or contemplating your sexual orientation, how did that aspect of your life affect your teenage experience?


Looking forward to reading about your experiences!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:29pm

My teenage years were nothing to write home about. I was probably one of the most boring kids you'd ever meet. I was a goody two shoes and never wanted to disappoint my parents. They were supportive of me

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 3:21pm

What was your life like as a teenager? Specifically, were you given a lot of freedom or were your parents strict? Did you rebel?

I was a nerd-- still am to a certain extent! LOL I didn't ask for a lot of freedom and never challenged the rules, which weren't strict, but since books were more important to me than dating at that time, there weren't many rules to challenge. OK, my teenage years were fairly dull! LOL

I didn't rebel until college-- when I ran off with my now DH. But education was important enough to me to get 2 B.S. and 1 M.S. degrees.



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 3:35pm

Sounds like we had similar experiences! I did rebel a bit in college too.


Good to see you here!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 4:53pm

My teenage years were awful, but we all lived through that time. My Dad was extremely strict, which led me to move out, live in the streets, learn much about life, get my head on straight and find the ability to forgive both parents before they passed away.


Good luck to all of you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 5:16pm

Thanks for your replies All!


It sounds like being strict is no guaruntee, and infact I have seen first hand how it often has the opposite effect when kids do get to have freedom. They run wild.


For me, I too was kept on a pretty tight rein as a teenager but with my mother is was more of a "just remember I trust you" thing that put the fear of letting her down so strongly in my mind that I was afraid to do much of anything.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 11:08pm
Good question, though bad memories. In middlae school I started to rebel due to an abusive father and a mother who worked a lot. I came home to an empty house or a high and angry father. My father was a heroin addict, which makes for a lot of family problems and my mother was from a small town and had never been exposed to stuff like that. I began using drugs when I was 14 and got into a lot of trouble at school. I remember being in at-school detention, where they kept you alone in a small room all day doing nothing. At lunch the kids used to put vodka in our milk cartons. High school was worse, but I did have more freedom and would have done whatever I wanted, anyhow. I did get depressed and was put on medication and stuck in a psych ward that I ended up liking too much. I didn't want to leave. I was 15 and it was the safest I had ever felt. They could control me and I was so out of control that I was scared of myself. I remember the first time I was in restraints. It angered me, but at the same time comforted me. Really mixed up. Then I went back to my same high school and everyone treated me strange except my best friend, Julie. I didn't know that I was a lesbian, but I loved looking at girls and finding something beautiful in every one. When I figured it all out I was 18 and told my family and my sister said that she had known for years. I asked her why she didn't tell me LOL. I did manage to graduate from high school with a D+ average and moved out to a bigger city soon after. I continued to have a serious drug addiction for another 23 years and had gotten hepatitis C from at 25. Today I am finally grown up, not so self-centered and angry at the world. I've been clean for 5 years and just moved in with my mom, my sister and her 2 teenage sons in March. They help me out, as I am very sick with now end stage liver disease and am trying to get a transplant. I love life and don't get depressed anymore as time is too precious to waste feeling bad. I have a lot of friends online who are sick and not sick and I need them all and get and give support to people everyday. I am a different person than I've ever been and I like myself finally. I have to stop, because I love to talk and could carry on forever. Anyway, thanks for asking and listening. tklynn
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2002
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 12:32am

What was your life like as a teenager? Specifically, were you given a lot of freedom or were your parents strict? Did you rebel? If you were out as a lesbian or contemplating your sexual orientation, how did that aspect of your life affect your teenage experience?


Hmmmm.....that was long ago!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 7:30am
(((((((TK)))))))

That was a powerful story, thanks for sharing. I so hope you are able to get that transplant soon, you have come so far in turning your life around.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 9:45am

My parents were strict when it came to going out in the evenings. I'm the eldest and the only girl, so I had it tougher than my brothers.


I was pretty much well-balanced as a teenager, not great big ups and downs as I remember it though my mother and father might have a different opinion. I was very active in the student organization ~ editor-in-chief of the school magazine; head of the documentation dept.; librarian of the Science Club. I was always class secretary and made life easy for both the home teacher and the class president lol. I swam a lot, but hated other sports. I dreamt of going to the Conservatory until I discovered the course on genetics and I just focused on math and sciences so much more from then on, much to my piano teacher's chagrin. It was a sad day for both of us when we realized that I wasn't going to pursue music professionally.


I didn't drink, didn't do druges, didn't smoke. The times I did drink alcohol it was at home with my parents, when they'd have wine with dinner, and it would be a small glass of red or white and that's it. I wasn't interested in drinking more than that. It was only later on at Uni that I started to drink moderately (I first got drunk in my mid-twenties) and that I started to smoke.


I was really focused and extremely responsible as a teenager!


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