Question for you !!!!
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| Wed, 09-13-2006 - 10:16pm |
Hey there!!!
I know that I am new and I feel bad even starting this thread when everyone else has so much going on!!! As you all know I am new to the female to female relationship and Deb and I have something very special but OMG she can be so jealous and possessive of me.. Uggg... I don't know what to do.... She went off with her parents tonight and I went to xh's to get Trev and we were talking about this promotion that I am trying to get, I was there about 2o minutes or so.. and Trevor was wanting to go so he went to the car and called Deb and told her I was inside talking to my xh and he didn't have anywhere to do his homework, hello he was being a kid and wanting attention and if he wanted to do his homework that bad he could of done it the three hours before I got there.. he just wanted her to be there, anyway set her off, I had told her this morning that I shouldn't be there too long that we had already talked about a lot of it ( we work for the same company and he is in upper management and we are still really good friends) but he had heard some more things today and we were discussing them, she went off and she is still going off about it...She is not home yet, she is doing this over text messaging but I have quit answering.... I am not going to quit talking to my xh, we have a son and we work together, I left him for her over a year ago and have not given her anything to be jealous of and this is driving me crazy, we are fine but let her go out of town she just assumes that I am over there at his house or I am on the phone with him. Any suggestions on how to handle this... This possessiveness and jealousy is going to kill me!!! I know that she feels threatened that I could go back and all of that but how much more do I have to do to make her understand that I love her and I am not going anywhere. Please forgive me if this was not appropriate thing to post so soon to the board... I am really struggling here.. we go thru this at least once every couple of weeks and the last time I told her no more, I wouldn't do it again. Thank you for letting me vent... Jules, how are you holding up? I hope that everyone's week is going well and has gotten better.. Congrat's on the new jobs by the way!!!

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Hey Ven..
Wow.... Thank you Ven... You all are so sweet !!! I appreciate what you said, I think you have really described what she goes through with me..She has had some really terrible relationships and has a hard time trusting and as you said she is not trying to punish me for those wrongs but sometimes she feels threatened and I just need to reassure her more during those times that I am not going anywhere. As Sue has told you she worked at
Brenda
Hi there.
Love you to honey.......
Hi Cold10!
I bet you must be Deb, so I just wanted to say,
Brenda
Ok you too *giggle Go have fun in Asheville this weekend!
Safe Travels!
*hugs Caly
this is just a thought, but maybe she would feel less threatened over the time that you spent with your ex, if you took her along as well? Is that possible?
I kind of suspect after a few visits and all she ever hears you talk about is your job, this person at work, Trev's upset tummy last week etc etc she will come to realise that she isn't missing anything at all.
it sounds like you and I probably come from fairly similar backgrounds. There was never much affection shown in my family and I too found it very awkward.
Also with the time I spent with Natalie, she would say she loves me... but that was it. She never did anything to show me she loved me. She would get angry and say she already told me last week that she loved me and why would i be thinking anything had changed from last week to this week? As it happened, it was just her saying what she felt she needed to say in order to keep me holding out for that tiny glimmer of hope that we could make this work.
Sue understands how I might feel, having seen me go through a lot of this. She constantly tells me she loves me, she likes to hear it as well. Today I arrived home from work, I wear gumboots (you call them wellies?), shorts, my tshirt always hangs out from underneath the shirt I wear over it... my clothes are wet from bathing dogs (bathed a stinky newfoundland today), I smell like a stinky wet dog... well she met me at the door and gave me a bunch of flowers. No reason, she just felt like it.
I'm pretty lucky, eh?!!
You are definately lucky Ven and I am soo happy for you.
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