I love my girlfriend but...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2006
I love my girlfriend but...
3
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 8:19pm
OK I only ever come on here to moan, well once before anyway. But I want to moan again and I don't know who I can moan to! I love my girlfriend very much but we've been together only 10 months and we hardly ever have sex anymore! I'm so sick of talking about it! She always says yes we do but it's been almost a month now and in that time it's been her birthday, for which I bought her a very expensive, sweet and lovely gift (not that I got it so that I could get laid but it would have been a bonus!) and we've been on a week long trip together and still nothing! She's always tired and I feel like I'm being unreasonable and whiney complaining about it. I've accepted the fact that we wont have sex at night because she doesn't like it (if you ask me is a little strange) but now it's never! It's really pissing me off now! I don't want to break up with her because I love her so much and except for this and one other issue - the issue I wrote about before - her ex coming back on the scene things are great. That's another issue that's come back up, she speaks to her ex regularly now on the phone, online, text and I recently found out this week that her ex was still in love with her until May! (At least!) This is when she wanted to come up and stay with her which didn’t happen because I made it clear how unhappy I was about it. I suppose this is unreasonable but I really needed to get some things off my chest. I know that it's stereotypical that when people have been together years they don't have as much sex but we've only been together 10 months and we're in our early twenties (Not that age makes a difference with sex) I sometimes wish I were straight, men always want sex (in my experience anyway!) I'm just stuck with what to do next!
Avatar for narniasky
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 5:04am

Louise, I'm sorry to hear about your partner troubles. So, you have discussed the sex issue with her? If you don't feel your needs are being met in some way, you should definitely have a serious discussion about it. Part of me wonders if the ex doesn't play a part in this situation somehow. As for me, I wouldn't be comfortable with this extreme ex contact and her wanting to come to stay, etc. etc. It sounds like the ex is causing a rift in your current relationship, and I am sure she wants it that way. I would start by talking with your partner about the ex and work your way out from there. I don't think your feelings sound unreasonable, in the slightest. I hope everything works out for the best.

Sincerely,

Karen


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 10:36am

Hi Louise pride ying yang

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:08pm

I have hang-ups about sex. We have done it a hand full of times so far. The first time was on my 16th birthday. I did it mainly because she went though so much trouble to give me the most romantic night of my life. I honestly enjoyed it, but I have a lot of baggage and hang-ups including the fact I'm not sure I'm gay. Religion, parents and a lot of other things play into this. But I sort of understand.

I worry my girlfriend may be getting frustrated like you are. I just hope she gives me the time that I need to work through these issues because I do love her very much.