70% gay - 30% straight - possible?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
70% gay - 30% straight - possible?
7
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 3:36am

Hi Everyone-

New to this board, just hoping for some thoughts on my situation.

I'm 32 y.o., have been in a relationship w/ my BF for the past 4 years. We are very compatible with each other. He makes me laugh, is very considerate and respectful toward me and shares with the domestic and financial responsibilities. I would not want to do anything to jeapordize the otherwise great relationship I am currently in. The only problem is that on some days (maybe as much as 1/2 the time), I am thinking about women. I'm attracted to guys, but it's the women that make my stomach fill up with butterflies and forget what I am going to say. It's the women I can't stop thinking about when I am trying to go to sleep at night.

I was in an amazing relationship w/ a woman (my first and only gay relationship) for over a year. If there ever was such a thing as perfection, that was our relationship. At least, that's how it felt at the time. It was kept fairly quiet as both of us were concerned about our careers. It seems to me that it takes a great deal of strength to be in an openly gay relationship. I personally don't feel that I have thick enough skin to withstand any comments that might come my way if I were to be in another gay relationship.

Can anyone relate to this situation? Thank you for taking the time to read this message and any comments, thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 7:11am

Hi and thwelcome2green.jpg


Certainly there is the possiblity that you are bi-sexual and certainly from your post I think you have a Very strong connection to women.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 1:13am

Hi and welcome!



After the first year or two it did for me, but then it became much easier.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 11:30am
Thank you. It gives me some hope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 11:35am
Thank you for your response. Yes, I go back and forth about staying in my great relationship or trying another homosexual relationship. Maybe that's where the frustration comes in, that I am unable to decide. I was so devastated when my ex-GF and I broke up. Our relationship lasted about a year and 1/2, but it took about 4 - 5 yrs for me to not think about her on a daily basis. I will definitely continue to come to this message board, it looks like a great place to explore ideas and actually receive some genuine responses.
(not things like: work at home and make $200,000/year, call 888...) lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 12:37pm

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Hi Sumbuddy! It's great to have you here. It is difficult sometimes to sort out your feelings for both men and women. Many of us here have been married or in relationships with men and didn't come out to ourselves until later in life. I didn't until I was 35. My advice is always to follow your heart and be true to yourself no matter who you decide to be with.


As far as having thick skin to endure hateful comments, when you become confident in who you are and who you want to be with, you will develop that

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 12:59pm

You are very welcome.


To share a smile...

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 9:47pm
I have been trying to figure out if it is possible to be 95% straight, but 5% so in love with a woman that the other 95% seems unimportant. I am tearing myself inside out trying to figure out my sexuality.