how 2 end sumthin so good yet so bad?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2006
how 2 end sumthin so good yet so bad?
4
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 9:45pm
I met a woman through mutual friends who I was instantly attracted to. When we would get together we just had a strong connection. A few problems arised however. One, she had a girlfriend. Two, I fell really hard for her. Something about her. She had a confidence about her sexuality that really attracted me to her. I guess they say you like the people who have the characteristics you want. She had what I wanted. I confronted her about how I felt and she said she didn't have feelings, only attracion. However, her actions showed me something different. When we went out toghether with our friends to clubs/ bars we always found ourselves flirting and usually ended in the bathroom making out. There was just a connection that we had between us. Every time we'd go out we find ourselves getting a little closer each time, but we never went past touching. During the week we'd talk on the phone and I always got the impression she was excited to talk to me. Some days she'd tell me she missed me, just little things that made me think that she wanted more. However, I don't think she could be completely honest with herself or me because of her girlfriend. Which I could understand. I know she wouldn't leave her girlfriend and honestly I wouldn't leave my boyfriend. (oh yeah, forgot to mention him, but don't worry I was completely honest with him about this, but that still doesn't make it ok ...) So why is this so hard to walk away from? During the week when we don't see each other I have time to push my feelings for her aside. I do feel bad because we do get intimate behind her girlfriend. I try and get past her and work on my relationship. But when the weekend comes and we hang out everything comes flooding back, the feelings, the intimacy ... everything. We usually find ourselves together by the end of the night every time we go out. It's like playing a tug of war with my heart. It messes with my head and my relationship. Every time I'm about to move on she reels me back in. And the worst part is after we see each other I'm like a lovesick puppy dog. I miss her and I think about her and I get in a rut. It just seems like a never-ending cycle and I'm getting to the point where my heart can't handle it. It feels like a bad- breakup and we aren't even dating! How does one end something so good yet so bad?


Edited 12/10/2006 10:00 pm ET by finallyout06
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 10:08pm
Hello and welcome.....I'm going to be an early poster! Sounds like your in a pickle. You said that she reels you in...more like a come here I want you now girl, now go away! Walk away if you can. Tell her it's confusing and you want to work on your relationship with your boyfriend. Some girls just love the chase and attention. Guess you found one! lol. Best of luck and keep us posted!

hugs


halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 2:01am
Hi and Welcome.. How do ya stop it?~ End it?.. It's not easy I know.. but ya think with and follow your head and not your emotions/sexual feelings/heart.. Very harder said then done.. but all that glitters is not a pot of gold and if she's messing around behind her g/f's back and I know a lot of us have made some bad choices... so I'm not judging here..but.... if she's doing that, then she can't be to honest can she?. To herself or her g/f....

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 9:30am


Hello there.

I've been through the situtation that you have just described so many times that what halo said is completely accurate. I look at it this way, since she can't be honest with her girlfriend, what makes you think that she's going to be honest with you?

The thrill of the chase is very encouraging, not to mention it makes you feel attractive and that you are the only one that she wants. I've had several people tell me, and everthing that she was doing, was telling me to leave her alone, and find someone that wants me. But I wouldn't listen. I had to find out the hard way, and let me tell you the hard way, sometimes is how I have to learn.

I call that the yo-yo game, come hither/go away, that's one game I don't like, in fact, I don't like any games at all. When you get tired of having your feelings stepped on, sooner or later, you will tell her to leave you alone, and until then, please be careful.

Thanks and welcome

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 10:31am

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Hello Finallyout! Great to have you here! You've already gotten excellent advice, so I won't add much. From the way you describe your strong connection to her, if you two are going to continue your heated encounters with your girl not committing to anything

Photobucket