Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Confused
6
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 11:42am

Where do I start, I am in my 30's and single through my own choice. I have met loads of guys over the years but the relationship never turns into anything serious. I always end up wanting something more and we just remain very good friends.

Over quite a few years I had strong feelings for a couple of my female friends but always put things to the back of my mind.

This month I met someone I work who has a boyfriend but I am attracted to her, like I have never felt with a man. I can not get her out of my head and am finding it impossible to push to the back of my mind.

I have no one to talk to about how I feel and feel very guilty about having these thoughts. I have been brought up in a very old fashioned family and would struggle to open up to anyone but my sister.

I feel like I am wasting my life trying to meet a man when I think I should be having a relationship with girl. I am living a lie and want to move forward and interact with other like minded girls who feel the same.

Please please help.....All comments and suggestions very very welcome! Lx

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
In reply to: bluepigs
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 7:01pm

thwelcome2blue.jpg


I am glad you found us and know that this is a place where you can come and ask questions and sort thru feelings and we will always try to be supportive and offer as much help as we can.


What you need to do first off is really come to terms with your feelings.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
In reply to: bluepigs
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 8:14pm

Harrow, bp!


A couple of different things at play here... first what is within you, manifested by the pull you feel from your friend. Suddenly a light bulb is starting to shine above your head, but yer not quite sure what this light is shining on... that's ok.


All too often we demand answers from ourselves we aren't yet prepared to give, but it varies with each person. The best advice I can give is to open the channels to your inner self, to your soul, and just run with what you feel, do not fear it, be this pointing you in hetero, bi, or lesbian directions. The realisation can be powerful, and it can overwhelm, and we agonise so... geesh, the stories I could tell...


the second part is this specific attraction. She is in a relationship currently. Has anything she has said, done, etc led you to believe she might have similar issues within? If not, I'd snap off that as best ya can and explore your own mind a tad. The better you know yourself, the stronger you are in exploring relationships that will melt yer socks off.

Sometimes
Sometimes
I see much more than's good for me
The first thing that's on my mind
The last place I look each time


~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: bluepigs
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 9:05pm
Jus Popping in here ((((((((nelle)))))))) to say Hi.

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
In reply to: bluepigs
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 4:14pm

Hi bluepigs and welcome to Lesbian Life!


I'm sorry you're in this predicament. Many women in our community have gone/are going through what you are. My advice is always to follow your heart. If you really think you are meant to lead a life with another woman and you want it bad enough, you will find the strength to be who you are no matter what others think. It's hard, but you will feel such a huge sense of relief when you do.


I have to agree with the others that perhaps you should pull back from the woman you are attracted to if she is with someone else and put your energy toward cultivating relationships with other women.


It's great to have you here! Good luck.


Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
In reply to: bluepigs
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 6:06pm
Ms Kitty! Happy Holidays to you and S, and please give her my best...

Sometimes
Sometimes
I see much more than's good for me
The first thing that's on my mind
The last place I look each time


~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: bluepigs
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 1:26am
I Will Do That... dear friend..((((((Hugs))))))))and Smiles~


 C  >^. A .