Does it ever get easier?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Does it ever get easier?
4
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 8:09pm

I never knew I had these feelings until...well my first unexpected kiss with a girl. My heart was awakened that night and my heart was broken when she said goodbye. I have been with guys my whole life and still am but the feelings live with me every moment of everyday. Our relationship was passionate and true but ended because of circumstances. I went on living my life and just thought it was a one time experience but then I met another girl that has totaly taken over my mind, body and soul. We have not done anything physically but the emotional and mental connection is so intense that I know that the love of a women is what I truly desire.

I want so badly to go back to when it all was simple and I knew who I was and who I loved. Am I naive for thinking I can?

Has anyone been through this? Can you ever really go back to just wanting to love of a man after you have passionately loved a women?

Does it ever get easier?

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 7:33am

Hi Kellythwelcome2yellow.jpg


I am glad you found the board.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 10:20am

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Welcome, Kelly! So glad you introduced yourself!


You know, sometimes I think it would have been so much easier to have recognized my strong feelings for women as more than just passing crushes when I was younger so that I could have grown up as a lesbian and never had to go through the tough life-changing events that I have. But then I realize how thankful I am that I did choose the path I did. I had some wonderful

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 2:31pm

Actually, the only reason it seems complicated is that we usually are in transition into acceptance of some new way of seeing ourselves. We compare that with what society says we should be, and that creates all this inner angst.


Once one comes to terms with who they are, it indeed does get easier. Nothing like being true to self in helping one find the courage to start discarding some of the trauma and fear.


*hugs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 11:46pm

Hi Kelly,

Welcome to the board!! You have come to a great place and you will find all sorts of support here on the board. In answer to your question, you have to follow your heart. I think that most of us have been where you are now and it isn't easy. I was one of the many that was married, actually twice, for a total of twenty years and it never seemed right, I was always searching for something. Then I had my first kiss with a woman and I knew... I had been told that once you are with a woman you can never go back and I do believe that. but the emotions you go through are tough. I was still married when I met my partner and I struggled with all of the same thoughts that you are but it does get easier. My best advice is follow your heart and everything else will fall into place, I am not promising that it won't be filled some hardships and lost friendships but the rewards way out weigh those.

Good luck and please continue to post with us...

Take care,

Brenda

Brenda