When to progress to physical?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2003
When to progress to physical?
5
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 11:04pm
Hi Ladies! I have been seeing a woman since Sept. with a minor break in Dec. and really need some help on how to progress things to the physical level. Of course we have kissed and cuddled on the couch for movies, and we have done dinner dates and drinks, also have done dinner at the house and sitting by the fire talking. Last night, New Year's Eve, we had our first 'sleep over'. We slept in the same bed..with PJ's..and spooned all night. I would like to take things to the next level physically; but not sure how to progress it. We have talked about it, but she wants things to be "special" and mean something. And trust me, it WILL mean something.
Last night I did not make a move because I didn't want her to think I was pushing on our first sleep over. But she is somewhat shy and I don't think will make the first move on her own. I want to respect and follow her lead when she is ready...but having trouble reading the 'signs'. Any help from you guys??
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 6:31am

Hi there!

I've been with my girlfriend since mid-september as well. (We haven't had any "breaks", but we live 9 hours apart.) Our relationship has only become physically reciprocal this past weekend. (Before that, she would bring me to orgasm manually, but wouldn't let me do it for her.) This past weekend changed all that, and it was SO worth waiting for!!! (More on my weekend in another post when I get home from work.)

My advice at this point is just be patient, take it slow. When the time seems right, go ahead & make that first move, but follow her lead & stop if she seems uncomfortable or asks you to. (For the record, I think you were wise by not making a move on her the first night you slept together.)

Best of luck...let us know how things progress.

~Storm

Spring SiggyBlinkie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 7:10am

thwelcome2blue.jpg


I think Storm was right on target with her reply. I think the best thing you can also do is keep the lines of communication open. Perhaps talk more about what would make it special or what she means by it meaning something. Planning it together may help ease some of her reservations. Perhaps shoot for Valentine's Day? *grin


Good luck and welcome to the board.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2003
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 7:41pm
Thanks for the input. I thought it was wise not to try anything on the first sleepover as well. Kinda builds trust. Which she can definately trust me. I am never disrespectful with any partner. I'm not BIG into "talking" about the details or planning things like that. I don't really think it's something that can be "planned". I think you can set the tone only.
She is out of a 4 year relationship by 9 months and I think she just needs a little nudge to get the juices flowing again (no pun intended). I think her past relationship had suffered in the bedroom and she has "lost that lovin feeling". So I just need to get her excitement level up again. Anything you girls can help me with would be great.
Thanks friends..i look forward to talking more with you.
d
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 7:16am

Well what does she like to do on the romantic front?

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 10:50am

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Welcome, DW! I have to agree with Storm and Caly. Reading her cues is a good way to go. Everyone is different. For me, planning the perfect romantic weekend with Caly got me totally comfortable with being with her physically for the first time. But, we both love to plan, and that works for us.


Feeding off the chemistry between us works too.

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