The journey....
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| Tue, 01-30-2007 - 2:36pm |
Hello,
I am new to the board, and I just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a little about me. I guess I would be classified as one of those mid-life (54), married women who finally faced their true sexuality after a long journey of never feeling that I actually "fit" in. I have been married almost 25 years and have three grown kids (youngest is 19.) I am trying to make some sense of my life as it is now and what my future will hold. My marriage is strained to say the least. My family realizes that I am "unhappy," and my husband wants just to fix it so that we can "be like we were."
I have begun working on my future. I recently became an LVN and am now taking classes to become an RN. The only women that I am "out" to are two close lesbian friends (who I became friends with before I knew they were lesbians!), my wonderful therapist who is helping me along this journey, --and the love of my life (she is also a married woman.)
I know that I want to leave this marriage, but I don't want to inflict more pain than is necessary. It doens't seem like the right time yet. My mother has just moved in with me, too. So my leaving involves moving Mom with me. My two daughters are going to have a hard time seeing through their Christian ethics concerning their mom, the lesbian. I have strong Christian beliefs, also, but I feel right with God. I didn't choose to be a lesbian...it is what I am. I don't think my daughters will see it that way...maybe someday. My son, at 19, is more accepting of the ways of the world.
I know that I am not the only woman in this situation, but at times it feels like it.
I want to live honestly and just be me -- and I am happy that I have become a nurse and I can't wait to finish school and begin my new career--and my new life. Thanks for listening.

Welcome Quickwit! It's great to have you here.
I'm constantly amazed at the number of women who have been in your situation. Both me and my partner (Caly, co-CL of this board) were married and had children. We finally realized that we needed to be our true selves and ended our marriages (there were other issues as well, not just the lesbian issue).
I do hope you'll be able to establish a "new life" at some point in which you will be happy and satisfied. Your family will come around. It may take a while, but when they see that you're happiest being your true self, they will also be happy for you.
Good luck, and I
If you have lurked at the board for a while, you have probably read 'my story' a few times 8-) and you can always read my website (thru my profile)