How do I help my friend?
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How do I help my friend?
| Thu, 03-08-2007 - 12:03am |
I want to help my friend and I am looking for some advice.
She is someone I recently became friend with in the past few months.
I think that she is confused about her sexuality.
She is living with -- and just got engaged to -- her boyfriend of 2 years.
She has had a relationship with a female in her past -- they still speak.
She and I have been out together in the past few months for drinks and dinner.
She has lots of personality when she flirts with guys in bars -- but is very graphic and sexual in her comments to them. She asked me to go to a gay bar with her the last time we were out. I thought she was kidding -- but I agreed. I have gay friends, so I didn't have a problem with it. But when we got there, she kept saying "Do I look like a lesbian?"
I told her that I am her friend, and that it doesn't matter what she is, but it isn't fair to her boyfriend if she is a lesbian and she is planning a wedding and she has never discussed her past relationships with him.
Is there anything I can do as a "friend" to help her?
I don't feel comfortable going to her wedding now that I know this information about her (her wedding is scheduled for 2 years from now -- another sign that something is wrong -- because the groom is 42 years old and my friend is 35 years old).
Any advice?
I would like to help her if I can.
She is someone I recently became friend with in the past few months.
I think that she is confused about her sexuality.
She is living with -- and just got engaged to -- her boyfriend of 2 years.
She has had a relationship with a female in her past -- they still speak.
She and I have been out together in the past few months for drinks and dinner.
She has lots of personality when she flirts with guys in bars -- but is very graphic and sexual in her comments to them. She asked me to go to a gay bar with her the last time we were out. I thought she was kidding -- but I agreed. I have gay friends, so I didn't have a problem with it. But when we got there, she kept saying "Do I look like a lesbian?"
I told her that I am her friend, and that it doesn't matter what she is, but it isn't fair to her boyfriend if she is a lesbian and she is planning a wedding and she has never discussed her past relationships with him.
Is there anything I can do as a "friend" to help her?
I don't feel comfortable going to her wedding now that I know this information about her (her wedding is scheduled for 2 years from now -- another sign that something is wrong -- because the groom is 42 years old and my friend is 35 years old).
Any advice?
I would like to help her if I can.

Hi and Welcome!
What a great friend you are! Its always hard to watch someone we care about in a bad situation, and not be able to do anything.
It sounds like your friend might have been "testing the waters", to see if it was safe to tell you she's a lesbian, or possibly bisexual.