telling mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
telling mom
4
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 2:09pm
i need help talking to my mom. i haven't told her that i'm a lesbian but she knows that i have gone out with girls. i know she doesn't like it so i never bring my girlfriends home. almost daily she likes to make a point of saying "i'd rather you be pregnant than have aids." i don't think she is trying to hurt me by saying that but something about it upsets me. i want to tell her this, but every time the "gay" issue comes up she acts like i chose to be a lesbian and i'm just "being like this" to hurt her. i need her to know that i'm not trying to rebel, and the things she says really hurt me, but at the same time i don't want to hurt her. What should i do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
In reply to: c_biz
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 3:52pm

Hi c-biz!


As I'm sure you realize, your mom is terribly misinformed about AIDS. I'm sorry she is saying hurtful things and not being supportive. Some of us here have experienced hard times with our parents finding out we are gay. I think you can be honest with your mom about how her words hurt you and you can do it in a way that does not hurt her.


I'm sorry you are going through this. But be true to yourself, and hopefully your mom will come around in time.


Hugs


Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
In reply to: c_biz
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 6:07pm

Wow...this is such a personal issue that sometimes couples themselves even disagree on how to handle it.

Spring SiggyBlinkie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
In reply to: c_biz
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 7:07pm

Hey C-biz!


The most important thing with family members is to give them time.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: c_biz
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 12:13pm

It seem like she knows but didn’t want to acknowledge the total you yet. I don’t know how old you are or your relationship with her but I will say don’t give up on her.

How are you doing overall? If she won’t listen to you maybe you might want to write down your feelings in a letter and when you ready, you can mail it to her to read. Or if you preferred drawings, paint pictures to express yourself so all the hurt you’re feeling is not stored up ready to blow. Maybe in the future you can sell these pictures at a nice profit and letting the hurt go forever. Keep posting if you need to vent, as you read the others post, there are lots of ladies here who knows how to open vents to let the steam out. *smile*