Seeking guidance
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 03-17-2007 - 8:01pm |
I am not sure if it is okay for me to post here, but I am seeking some help.
Throughout my life I have had attraction to some women, as well as some men. I can't say as though either attraction is stronger than the other, but I only considered following my attraction to men as I was taught that was the right thing to do. I am married to a wonderful man and we have children together, but I also find my attraction to women to be coming stronger and stronger. I have talked to my husband about this in a round about way (hypotheticly) and he thinks it is perfectly natural for a woman to be attracted to other women. He even said if I ever met another woman and wanted a "relationship" with her, that he would not consider that cheating. Again, he said he thinks it is natural. He is not one of those men who wants to see it or be involved. He very much believes intimacy is between two people, and any extra causes problems.
Anyhow, I am not looking for a sexual relationship outside of my marriage. What I am looking for is people to talk to that know my feelings and can accept me the way I am. I feel like I can't even tell my best friend because I am afraid she would feel "weird" around me.
I have a few lesbian friends, and I haven't even let on how I feel. To them I am just the super supportive straight conservative chick that fights for gay rights. However, I feel more comfortable around them than anyone else. Like I can more closely identify with them that others. I want to make more lesbian/bi friends so that I feel like I have more in common with them. Is this making sense?
Are there any forums on the net that are active but private where I could talk to others?
Like I said, I do not a relationship. Just recently I was outright hit on by a woman, and she told me she wanted to have sex with me. I was offended. I didn;t even know her. I am not about sex, I am about personal chemistry and attraction. I am about relationships. My feeling that I am bi-sexual has nothing to do with action or sex and everything to do with my feelings deep down inside. It seems to me that too many people use the excuse of being bi to be sexually promiscuous (sp?). I just want to feel comfortable being who I am and not feel like I am some weirdo.
Any advice? Any areas you can direct me?
Feel free to email me through my profile if you don't want to post back here.
Thanks,
Lynn

Pages
Hi Blue and welcome!
You sound a lot like I was when I finally decided to live the life I was meant to live after denying it for 40 years.
So back to taking it slow, ; )
I hope things work out I really do. I know it is scarey.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Hey, welcome to the board bluediamond. :-)
Sorry, your truthfullness with your best friend didn't go well. Hang in there. Glad to know you are seeking and getting support in PA. *SMILE*
Hi blue,
See if this helps you...to some degree it does help me, (but not always, because there will forever be people whose opinion is important to me).
"Those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind".
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Been offline for awhile. I worked a doubleheader last night and didn't get home until late. Then it was packing for the next day. Time flies and all that.
Funny, calling me Blue. That's all they call you on the diamond.....except for the other crude and rude things they say about us.
Apparently, I sound like a lot of other folks like me, too. This has been a real great place and I am happy I found y'all.
Yesterday was really rough. Called a friend for some therapy, but still..... I am trying to fathom a timetable right now, but you know, one day at a time.
Thanks for checking up on me and keeping me calm
I've got a great life I've built here (one of my friends in the know calls it the "House that Blue built", sort of like Babe Ruth), wonderful friends, a good job, super family, but you know..........I just wanna dip my big toe in and swim a little. Can that be done?
"I just wanna dip my big toe in and swim a little. Can that be done? "
Well, you can just dip your toe in, but if you want to swim at all, you have to get pretty wet.
THAT was incredibly insightful. Thanks. I have tried to always make it easier for those who come after me in all aspects of closed doors. My job is terribly female dominated, but my avocation (umpiring) is awfully male dominated....but that's another story.
I want to tell my mom, but I am getting mixed reviews about that from friends. Why? is the question. Does it matter?
I have told my brother-in-law because he told me first a long time ago and I thought I owed it to him, but he has indicated that he would stand by his brother (the husband), not me. Blood thicker and all that.
I think I am rambling, but that is the way this is feeling right now. I just want to run a stream of consciousness, but it all ends up in the same place every time.
Wet?........"drive all night long."
I've never been much of a swimmer, but I've been known to take a dive or two. I am a quick study, though.
Pages