Seeking guidance
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| Sat, 03-17-2007 - 8:01pm |
I am not sure if it is okay for me to post here, but I am seeking some help.
Throughout my life I have had attraction to some women, as well as some men. I can't say as though either attraction is stronger than the other, but I only considered following my attraction to men as I was taught that was the right thing to do. I am married to a wonderful man and we have children together, but I also find my attraction to women to be coming stronger and stronger. I have talked to my husband about this in a round about way (hypotheticly) and he thinks it is perfectly natural for a woman to be attracted to other women. He even said if I ever met another woman and wanted a "relationship" with her, that he would not consider that cheating. Again, he said he thinks it is natural. He is not one of those men who wants to see it or be involved. He very much believes intimacy is between two people, and any extra causes problems.
Anyhow, I am not looking for a sexual relationship outside of my marriage. What I am looking for is people to talk to that know my feelings and can accept me the way I am. I feel like I can't even tell my best friend because I am afraid she would feel "weird" around me.
I have a few lesbian friends, and I haven't even let on how I feel. To them I am just the super supportive straight conservative chick that fights for gay rights. However, I feel more comfortable around them than anyone else. Like I can more closely identify with them that others. I want to make more lesbian/bi friends so that I feel like I have more in common with them. Is this making sense?
Are there any forums on the net that are active but private where I could talk to others?
Like I said, I do not a relationship. Just recently I was outright hit on by a woman, and she told me she wanted to have sex with me. I was offended. I didn;t even know her. I am not about sex, I am about personal chemistry and attraction. I am about relationships. My feeling that I am bi-sexual has nothing to do with action or sex and everything to do with my feelings deep down inside. It seems to me that too many people use the excuse of being bi to be sexually promiscuous (sp?). I just want to feel comfortable being who I am and not feel like I am some weirdo.
Any advice? Any areas you can direct me?
Feel free to email me through my profile if you don't want to post back here.
Thanks,
Lynn

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Yeah, I think you are both right. I'm gonna step on out next month. Thank you, thank you.
I have an unrelated question. Right now I am only seeing one message at a time and I am not functioning very well at this speed. I notice that I can see more messages for a small fee and they will take it out of my credit card. I was wondering how that would show up, since my account is joint. If this message board appears......I'm just not ready for that. It it shows as a member fee for ivillage, I could handle that. And is it worth it?
Blue
Hey Blue,
I think the Express Yourself package is worth it, just for the multiple message scrolling alone, but you also get to post in color (which is fun ) and a few other features.
Hey, Caly, sorry so late on reply. I had a double header (softball, don't EVEN go anyhwere else!) this afternoon, then off to a final four party this evening. Thanks for the advice. I think I will sign on tomorrow.
My laptop is giving me fits (note to the other board)and it is weird using this PC.
About the party. I just gotta vent here for a minute. Lots of guys, testosterone running way high. You know they make all kinds of ugly references and then feel that they can just blow it off with the famous Seinfeld "not that there's anything wrong with that." I feel unempowered because I just sit there and act like there is nothing wrong when I am seething inside. Some of these men are administrators in my district. I also feel like a traitor.
*Hugs
I too am bi, I didn't really realize it until the last year or so. I had never been with a woman or really even thought about it before then. I started discussing it with my man, of course he was turned on by it, but he too didn't feel the need to be a part of it at all, unless that is what I wanted. He is supportive and wants me to experience all that I desire in my life. I too am a very blessed woman to have such a man in my life. I'd love to chat with you anytime, I understand how you feel. You see my man is in prison, he has been for the last 6 years. I love him dearly and he loves me, nothing can break the bond that we share. We are not married nor do we plan on it, we are not the conventional couple either, its hard to explain. We simply desire for the other to live their life just the way they choose, and we stand by the other in all things. He does not wish me to be alone or to be punished because he made stupid mistakes. I don't want another man to ever touch me, and I am attracted to women. I recently found a woman to share time with, talk with and to be intamate with. She is wonderful, knows my whole story and we under-stand what the other is seeking in life. So if you care to chat e me at petoonyah at the smiley face dot com. I don't expect to ever meet or anything other than chat. It would be great to talk to another woman who knows how I feel.
Hope to hear from you,
Petoonyah
Well today is a new day with new adventures and I don't have to make any decisions, except which mattress to buy.
My husband, the homophobe, tells me how enlightened he is recently. Is there workout program with a lesbian who owns a gym or has a program that originates out of LA? He's telling me it's like a reality program. Listening to him explain this to me is all at once hysterical, sad, and yet curious. Does anybody know this?
Her name is Jackie Warner and she is on the cover of this month's Curve Magazine. The show is called Work Out and its on Bravo.
Sorry, I am feeling miserable right now. I keep wondering how long my ex best friend is going to punish me. I get that I screwed up, but it wasn't out of meanness or hatred. It was out of love.
I emailed her home email to get some information regarding the union and I was told to never email there again and that all requests need to go through our president. I was told last week to never email on work email. This is absolutely crushing and it makes me cry.
I have never had a friendship or love relationship break up. I am too old for this sh#$.
This is like a death. I know that I keep rehashing the same thing, but I need this pain to go away.
I understand what you are feeling and BIG HUGS!! ((((BLUE)))))) I am so sorry that your first reaction to coming out was so harsh and negative. I know in my heart that not everyone will treat you that way.
I have come out to a close friend and EBF(exbestfriend) outed me to a mutual friend, so they know. They are fine with me. I asked EBF not to out me to anybody else, as this is not her story, but you can't control other people. Fear, anxiety, longing, depression, weirdness, lonliness, sick to your stomach, DID YOU ALL FEEL THESE THINGS???
I am just a mess tonight.
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