A Love Just for You?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2007
A Love Just for You?
10
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:03pm
Everyone on this earth has wanted a secret lover. Someone they can share everything with but WANT to keep private. I know I do. Someone so special that you protect from harms way. It maybe just me but i know somewhere one of you agree...i hope lol. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 12:08am

I don't want a secret lover.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 7:33am

Hey Candi,


To be honest I am just the opposite.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 4:12pm

I have to agree with the others here...I wouldn't want a secret lover. When you find your true love like I have, you don't want to hide it. Everyone's needs and desires are different, though. Hope you find the happiness you are looking for!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 5:29pm
I am like the others. I like for people to know who she is. I think keeping it a secret would drive me crazy.
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 5:46pm

I've had a lot of relationships where my past girlfriends either didn't want to be seen with me, because they were ashamed of themselves. Anytime I have to hide the person I would date, then I have no reason to be dating her.

I would walk down the street with my chest thrown out and a big smile on my face. Of course, that's just me.

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 7:17pm

Instinctively, I don't want any relationship to be a secret. I want to live my life openly and with pride. For me, the need to keep a secret is born out of fear, and I don't want to live in fear. But I sure do understand the kind of love that wants to shied from pain and harsh judgement. I can understand wanting to hide away from the world in your own cozy arrangement. But I am a social creature, and I wouldn't last long with my secret love. I would feel distant and disconnected from other relationships that are important to me.

Hope that gives you another perspective..

Cheers! Celia

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 8:34pm

Nope, I think there are enough secrets in the world in general.

Spring SiggyBlinkie
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 1:31am
Sorry, I agree with the others. I have no desire to have a secret lover. I love my girlfriend and I'm proud of her -- I like going out with her in public and I like telling my friends about how wonderful she is. I would hate having to keep her a secret. Besides the fact that I miss the wonderful things we do in public -- the picnics, the shopping hand-in-hand, the dinner parties, on and on -- I also think the secrecy would indicate something negative. I think generally people hide relationships because they are ashamed -- be it because they are ashamed on being in a same-sex relationship, or because they are ashamed on their lover, or because one of them is already in a committed relationship. Whatever the case, I don't want those negative emotions muddying my happiness. I don't deal well with guilt and secrecy.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 2:36pm

A secret lover?

In what way?

Is the lover a secret because of difference in color, class or religion?
Is there a secret lover because one is already in a relationship and looking to find a way to get out of the relationship?
Or maybe a secret lover is conjured up within the relationship to spice it up? Pretend to be different individuals and hooked up like it was the first time again?
Or maybe a lover holding all your bright and dark secrets to make you feel safe and warm till eternity?

What are my options for a secret lover? *smile* I’ll like to know before deciding if I want a secret lover. *grin*

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 7:55am
I think we all need someone we can be completely honest with. That is what I refer to as intimacy. It is hard to reveal our inner most thoughts. True love is the package that includes physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. Or at least that is the way I feel.
Sarah