Would You Ever?
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Would You Ever?
| Sun, 03-25-2007 - 10:12am |
I'm a bisexual woman. 19 years old, silly, funny lively and positive. I've gone on countless message boards even watched t.v. shows where lesbians said they would never date a bisexual woman.... They would however befriend one. As a few of you may have read my other posts where i've gone to say that i've never went to lesbian bars or clubs. It pisses me off to GUESS that lesbians would look at bisexuals as a "warning sign". I don't know how true it is but maybe you lesbians can clear this up....WHY DON'T LESBIANS DATE BISEXUAL WOMEN?

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I consider bi-sexual women as high risk in a relationship. High risk for going back to men, (they might miss the sexual part of the relationship), high risk for sexually transmitted diseases, (sleeping with men is a higher risk then female to female.), and high risk for just being someone's experiment, for those who are just bi-curious and wanting to try a female to female relationship but end up with a man and getting married etc. in the end = hurt me.
These are my top three high risk factors for not dating bi women.
If I am wrong, then please write back and tell me why I am wrong. But many times bi women want both worlds, a man to go out with publicly and a woman on the side. That is my fourth risk factor. I am a lesbian and looking and fortunatly have found a life partner. 5th high risk factor is many bi women will want to bring a man into the relationship and that is not for me. Especially not in the bedroom.
Am I way off base here? Most lesbians or the ones that I know do not go for any of that stuff above.
I want a normal relationship like anyone else that might lead to a life time with the person I am with. I want to be first in that person's life and that person first in my life.I want to be included in my honey's life as the number one partner and the only partner. I want to be treated special and I want all those things for my partner from me.
I don't want to have to worry about sexually transmitted deseases incase of cheating or from a previous relationship.
That said, we could be tested before sex and that would clear that up unless the bi person decided to cheat on me without protection.
Ok, enough out of me. I am ready to hear from other's on this subject.
Interesting question.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Hello lauriedav,
Well atleast you know the difference in bisexual women and bi-curious women. Bi-curious women are at high levels of STDs just like promiscuous lesbians and men... Did you miss that one? Anyways i am bisexual and happily will say that most lesbians are insecure to think that bisexual women will leave them. If you hownever have captured a "bisexual" that has slept with you then lefted to in the dust. you may have infact caputured a BI-CURIOUS WOMAN.
Bi-curious women will not say "oh i'm curious and will like to sleept with you." They will never say anything about that. They cant say they're bisexual...cause they're not. THeY DON'T KNOW. bisexuals like myself can get in mongomis relationships JUST LIKE LESBIANS AND STRAIGHTS. I dont have a sexually transmitted diesase... that's for thinking that ANYWAYS....
thanks for being apart of the L.G.B.T community and not knowing your commuinity that well....
a real bisexual woman WILL NOT leave her female lover for a man.... were are not nasty at all. we have the intelligents to tell you before hand "hey, i want to go out on a date with this guy i met at the bookstore." after we tell our female partner this. we give them information about the guy and tell the guy that we're bisexual.whatever happens after that we take care of....
Hi there!
This is a question that comes up every now and then with the chat room I'm involved in too. Most girls there are very against bisexual women, and won't even speak to them. In all honesty though, we get the worst examples that come through the room...the ones with a husband but who want a bit of sex with a woman on the side, because "that isn't cheating".
The thing is, for me, as long as someone is open and up front (to ANYONE involved) then what is the harm in being bisexual, lesbian, polyamorous, whatever? Some people are into having several partners, and as long as EVERYONE agrees and is comfortable with it, then again, not a problem. Not my thing, personally though! Basically, I'm a live and let live kind of gal.
Would I date a bisexual woman? I already have. It didn't bother me. If she was going to leave me, I'd have been just as upset regardless of the gender of the new person! As it turned out, she was a bit unpleasant to me, so I left her, but that's a different story! LOL
No idea if any of that's making sense, it's getting late and i've been busy all week doing up my new bedroom!
Hugs,
Chris
www.rainbowinspirations.co.uk
http://rainbowinspired.livejournal.com/
I am just saying yes, bi-women who have not practiced safe sex can be at a higher risk for sexually transmitted diseases. It is a known fact that lesbians are in the lowest risk group for sexually transmitted disease. Even my doctor told me that when I told her I was a lesbian and we talked about some of the issues. I have been in the community since I was 18 years old and am now 47 years old. I do not know everything and do not pretend to.
You are the one who asked for these answers so why get all upset at them instead of just trying to right it if it is wrong.
I have never dated a bi-woman and do not even have an experience to tell, but some of my friends do and none of the bi relationships stuck. They all went back to men at some point.
I am not looking to have an argument with you but a debate is good.
Insecure? Not normally. But Maybe with a bi-sexual who could always take the easy way out and go to the male gender when things get tough. Or family or friends are not accepting. It is something to think about.
I have no trouble with you being bi. I just do not date bi's. And you are right, maybe it is insecurity, maybe just truth, maybe just preconcieved notions.
Many bi-sexuals also seem to think it is okay to have one main partner and one of the opposite sex on the side.
I do not believe in that. I am not saying you feel that way just many I know do. That is ok for them if it works for them and both of their partners, it's just not for me.
I do not look down on bi-sexuals I just guess I see them as high risk to me only in a relationship basis.
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Thank you so much cris....
you said what i should of added on...
anyways yes if the woman is upfront with you then there is nothing worng with it. but if she was bisexual and lied to you then dont get mad at all bisexuals... with that being said alot of lesbians are acting like straight men trying to turn bisexuals lesbian... < that was cute lol
Now i see myself befriending a few lesbians..really i do. however, it would be hard for most of them to realize that bisexuals are as equal as they are...don't most of you know that bisexual women go to lesbian bars...? What would you do if you got hit on by a bisexual?
once again i would never take the "easy" way out....
but right now i see you are very difficult to educate on the topic bisexual women...
you keep throwing out sterotypes.....
Edited 3/25/2007 6:31 pm ET by bi_candi
thanks for being apart of the L.G.B.T community and not knowing your commuinity that well....
Hi again Candi.. I posted my thoughts on
C >^. A .
i know it was her opinions...i wouldnt of asked the question if i didnt want to hear others answers... secondly, i am not upset...how can you tell a person's emotions on the message board? thridly, she was bring me down as a bisexual saying i have STDS....and you repect that? crazy... if i wasnt upset before i am now.
i would like to say that the whole topic is now turned from lesbians accpeting bisexuals to me hating laurie... i dont hate the girl at all. Now if a person sits here and say bisexuals are spreading STDs but know alot about the LGBT community then that's just as backwards as me saying i hate lesbians but sleeping with a woman when i go home....get my drift?
Maybe it is just us insecure lesbians, i don't know. I would have to say maybe that is it, maybe she is right. But I am not insecure in my lesbian relationships/relationship.
I was just being honest. I knew it would not be popular.
hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
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