Wow! This is a hard one for me, because I use lables as a decriptive device. I also joke around like you do and sometimes refer to myself as a lesbo. I don't know if lables bother me really. Unless they are used in a derogatory form. Even then I am like, well, yeah... Not that I have been called a label in a derogatory form in many years. You cannot tell by looking at me. I guess I don't mind a lable because it does refer to a part of who I am. Not all of who I am. But I do think we are superior, lol, joke.
Oh my, we get labelled so much in life! Let's see, I'm Swedish, tall, blonde, blue-eyed, "mature" (ask my college, anyone over 22 is a "mature student"), Liz's protege, a horse rider, Jo's and Astra's mum/owner (depending on whether I'm spending time with them or paying their bills!), etc etc ad nauseum!
With regard to my sexuality, for the most part I think of myself as "lesbian" or "gay". I don't find "dyke" offensive, but it's just not right for me, I don't identify as one-I guess because I'm very femmey, and for me that word has definite "butch" connotations. I've been called a "lipstick lesbian" and that's fine, as long as it's not done in a derogatory fashion (that goes for most labels, imho), though I certainly don't wear lipstick all the time-the horse really doesn't care whether I've got makeup on or not!
In life our minds try to find patterns in things in order to make sense of the world, so it is only natural to end up with labels, and even stereotypes. Put simply, our minds can only process so much information at once, so anything new has to find a category, and we delete, distort and categorise according to previous experiences and our own world view. I don't have a problem with labels, if used in a sensitive/sensible way. It's when they're used to deliberately cause trouble, or to look down on a group of people/animals/whatever that there is a problem.
Ok, not quite sure where that dissertation came from! LOL sorry for the essay, but at least you know where I stand ;o)
I was going to write exactly what you wrote, Chris, especially the part about labels helping us order our world. The big problem I have is when people say things like "That cashier today, she was a black girl, did..." If they were talking about a white cashier, they wouldn't say "white". Same thing goes with lesbian/homosexual. We don't refer to heterosexuals as that on a day-to-day basis. It's just "assumed" that one is a heterosexual.
We all have labels -- mom, daughter, wife, sister, coworker, etc. What matters is how they are used.
I don't mind the labels... I refer to myself as a lesbian... but I do have a problem when people use labels in a degratory manner... as everyone has said, we all have roles, so to speak.. and labels apply to these roles.... but in regards to our sexuality, race or anything of that nature that is not tolerable to be used in a negative manner.
I agree with Laurie, I really don't care to confine someone to a decriptive box, but I do want to know how I'm relating to someone. I wouldn't feel right asking a woman that I find attractive, "Ok, what's your descriptive label" lol!
But, I don't mind describing myself to curious onlookers. It helps to alieviate confusion.
I'm not a fan of labels in general, (as most of you know from hearing me launch into long tirades about it) but I also recognize that they are sort of necessary as descriptives in order to communicate effectively.
Just got home from work and checked to see what the thoughts of the day are. How do you women get on so early in the day?
Anyway, from a woman who is starring in her own program of "In Search Of..." I find the labels situation interesting. Mostly they don't bother me and they do identify. As most of you know, I am only out to a select few and am taking it slowly per good advice. People where I work, that should be an extremely tolerant, aren't all their nice shiny sign says that they are. So, it seems that some use it like the "N" word. You know, it's okay if WE say(use it in songs) it ourselves, but others can't use it. It's a really tough call. I am leaning toward the idea that labels that can be used derogatorily just shouldn't be used in public.
Hey, I just wanted you to know, I love the topics you have, they are truly interesting. I have to say I that I don't really like lables. I don't mind being called a lesbian. I kind of like the word lesbian. But I trully hate the word "dyke" and "butch". Expecially when people use it in a mean way. I myself am actually pretty girlie, and never really had a problem with lables, but my girlfriend is not as girlie as me, well she has had people mention the way she dresses. Hows she always wear a dress shirt to work. Honestly, the way I see it is, who cares!!! Who cares what people wear or how their hair is cut, if they feel comfortable, does it really matter or make a difference in anyones life??
Like I said before, I live in Toronto and gay people are excepted everywhere and no one really cares. So I really don't have an issue with lables, and I don't think anyone has ever labled me, not that I noticed anyway.
The sadest thing with when I go to a gay bar, where in Toronto, there are many and I hear other lesbians or gay men using the words "dyke", "butch" and "fag" in a rude way to one another or describing someone else. Like hello!! Sometimes I just feel like going up to them and saying something like "Hello buddy, your wearing a pink, spandex tank top, please don't call that guy a fruit cake!!"
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I also joke around like you do and sometimes refer to myself as a lesbo.
I don't know if lables bother me really. Unless they are used in a derogatory form. Even then I am like, well, yeah...
Not that I have been called a label in a derogatory form in many years.
You cannot tell by looking at me.
I guess I don't mind a lable because it does refer to a part of who I am. Not all of who I am. But I do think we are superior, lol, joke.
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Cute cartoon Caly.
Pieces of My Life
Labels don't bother me.
Oh my, we get labelled so much in life! Let's see, I'm Swedish, tall, blonde, blue-eyed, "mature" (ask my college, anyone over 22 is a "mature student"), Liz's protege, a horse rider, Jo's and Astra's mum/owner (depending on whether I'm spending time with them or paying their bills!), etc etc ad nauseum!
With regard to my sexuality, for the most part I think of myself as "lesbian" or "gay". I don't find "dyke" offensive, but it's just not right for me, I don't identify as one-I guess because I'm very femmey, and for me that word has definite "butch" connotations. I've been called a "lipstick lesbian" and that's fine, as long as it's not done in a derogatory fashion (that goes for most labels, imho), though I certainly don't wear lipstick all the time-the horse really doesn't care whether I've got makeup on or not!
In life our minds try to find patterns in things in order to make sense of the world, so it is only natural to end up with labels, and even stereotypes. Put simply, our minds can only process so much information at once, so anything new has to find a category, and we delete, distort and categorise according to previous experiences and our own world view. I don't have a problem with labels, if used in a sensitive/sensible way. It's when they're used to deliberately cause trouble, or to look down on a group of people/animals/whatever that there is a problem.
Ok, not quite sure where that dissertation came from! LOL sorry for the essay, but at least you know where I stand ;o)
Hugs,
Chris
www.rainbowinspirations.co.uk
http://rainbowinspired.livejournal.com/
I was going to write exactly what you wrote, Chris, especially the part about labels helping us order our world. The big problem I have is when people say things like "That cashier today, she was a black girl, did..." If they were talking about a white cashier, they wouldn't say "white". Same thing goes with lesbian/homosexual. We don't refer to heterosexuals as that on a day-to-day basis. It's just "assumed" that one is a heterosexual.
We all have labels -- mom, daughter, wife, sister, coworker, etc. What matters is how they are used.
Good Question C......
I don't mind the labels... I refer to myself as a lesbian... but I do have a problem when people use labels in a degratory manner... as everyone has said, we all have roles, so to speak.. and labels apply to these roles.... but in regards to our sexuality, race or anything of that nature that is not tolerable to be used in a negative manner.
Hugs,
Brenda
Hey!
I agree with Laurie, I really don't care to confine someone to a decriptive box, but I do want to know how I'm relating to someone. I wouldn't feel right asking a woman that I find attractive, "Ok, what's your descriptive label" lol!
But, I don't mind describing myself to curious onlookers. It helps to alieviate confusion.
Thanks and great topic.
Hugs,
Sebastian
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
I'm not a fan of labels in general, (as most of you know from hearing me launch into long tirades about it) but I also recognize that they are sort of necessary as descriptives in order to communicate effectively.
Just got home from work and checked to see what the thoughts of the day are. How do you women get on so early in the day?
Anyway, from a woman who is starring in her own program of "In Search Of..." I find the labels situation interesting. Mostly they don't bother me and they do identify. As most of you know, I am only out to a select few and am taking it slowly per good advice. People where I work, that should be an extremely tolerant, aren't all their nice shiny sign says that they are.
So, it seems that some use it like the "N" word. You know, it's okay if WE say(use it in songs) it ourselves, but others can't use it. It's a really tough call. I am leaning toward the idea that labels that can be used derogatorily just shouldn't be used in public.
Among friends....another story.
Hey,
I just wanted you to know, I love the topics you have, they are truly interesting. I have to say I that I don't really like lables. I don't mind being called a lesbian. I kind of like the word lesbian. But I trully hate the word "dyke" and "butch". Expecially when people use it in a mean way. I myself am actually pretty girlie, and never really had a problem with lables, but my girlfriend is not as girlie as me, well she has had people mention the way she dresses. Hows she always wear a dress shirt to work. Honestly, the way I see it is, who cares!!! Who cares what people wear or how their hair is cut, if they feel comfortable, does it really matter or make a difference in anyones life??
Like I said before, I live in Toronto and gay people are excepted everywhere and no one really cares. So I really don't have an issue with lables, and I don't think anyone has ever labled me, not that I noticed anyway.
The sadest thing with when I go to a gay bar, where in Toronto, there are many and I hear other lesbians or gay men using the words "dyke", "butch" and "fag" in a rude way to one another or describing someone else. Like hello!! Sometimes I just feel like going up to them and saying something like "Hello buddy, your wearing a pink, spandex tank top, please don't call that guy a fruit cake!!"
Till next time ladies...
M
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