Thursday Thoughts......Partnerships....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thursday Thoughts......Partnerships....
22
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 7:02am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 11:01am

I was checking out wikipedia last night and I checked somethings out. Many states do recognize same sex marriages and there are some states that recognize civil unions and domestic relationships.

If I were to get involved with a woman again, and if the relationship lasted, without intereference, FROM ANYBODY!!! Then the relationship would be seen as a domestic relationship. I learned a lot last night from wikipedia.

Thanks

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 1:29pm

Jamie and I have joint bank accounts and we're both on the lease for our apartment. When we buy a home, we'll both be on the deed and we'll pay the mortgage from our joint account. We are both on the insurance for both cars. And we don't have wills yet, but we are the beneficiary of each other's life insurance policies.

We really need to get some legal work done to ensure that we have the right to visit each other in the hospital and get medical info in case we are unable to give consent (coma, stroke, etc). This isn't such a big deal in Jamie's case -- her family is local and loves me and would add me to the list of visitors and defer to me. But my family cannot be trusted. And in any case, it's just better to have it in writing. But lawyers are expensive, and it just hasn't been a priority. We'll likely deal with that when we start TTC our first baby and need to deal with a lawyer anyway to handle the second-parent adoption and such. The issue is parenting is REALLY important to us. It's imperative that we both be recognized as parents from as early on as possible. We'll only work with a midwife who is 100% supportive of our family and a center that provides us with all the same rights of a heterosexual couple. That shouldn't be a problem here, but it's definitely something we'll be aware of when we reach that stage. And we'll want the second-parent adoption complete asap so that -- god forbid -- anything happens to me, there is never any question of custody. I don't want there to ever be even the slightest threat that our child(ren) could be taken away from Jamie just because she didn't give birth to them. I've actually considered traveling to CA for the birth, because if we give birth in CA both our names will go on the original birth certificate and there will be no need for a second-parent adoption or any other legal work to protect Jamie's rights. I'd rather not travel across the country to give birth, but it's something I've considered.




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Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 4:03pm
Hey, SB. Be careful with Wikipedia. In my grad classes, I am not allowed to use it for ANY research because anybody can post there and say virtually anything they want and pass it off as the truth. Most of the stuff I have looked at seems okay, but I am certainly not an expert and defer to the college professors.
BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 4:19pm

Hmmmmm, never gave this much thought, although I have been aware of it. I think I would want my partner to have all the rights of the present DH. Seems the right thing to do. From the postings, it looks like it is not so simple, but it can be done.

Talking about rights-a little story. DH and I were very young and buying our first house. When the agreement came back it said that they were selling to "Timothy Last Name", and his wife, whomever that might be. (no name, just "whomever that might be") I was soooooo frosted. I couldn't believe that was the way things were and I was a card carrying feminist. I know the credit card companies are always after the college kids and sometimes high school, and I couldn't even GET a credit card, or even establish credit in my name for a long time as an adult. Wow, have things changed.

They will keep on changing, too.

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 5:17pm

Thanks.

I always take information from online with a grain of salt. Since I'm not in school yet, I usually use my best judgement.

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

Avatar for why1040
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 6:12pm

This is actually something that's been on my mind a bit recently, as I'm newly back in the land of the dating...and dating an American at that!

I have lived with one gf, and although we had no legal rights in the married sense back then, that has now changed, and we can go through a partnership procedure here, which is pretty close to marriage, at least from a legal standpoint. Tax, benefit and such rights are identical, and so is immigration TO the UK...well, you never know, it might become relevant! ;o) I on the other hand have no hope of getting a green card!

On a more every day thing, the ex I shared a house with and I had our own individual accounts, but had a joint account for the household bills etc, and a joint mortgage (to the surprise of the dear man that organised it for us!). We both paid the same into it (we were making pretty much the same at the time) and that saved any discussion at all about who paid for what, and vacations and such came out of that as well. At the same time, we both had individual accounts for our own interests etc with what was left over, eg own clothes/makeup/horse riding etc. Legally, since I put in most of the deposit on the house, we had an agreement that I owned X% of the house before any split, thereby protecting my interests in the case of a future problem. Useful, as it turned out! And for credit ratings, we had some of the bills in her name so she wasn't a complete non-person!

I haven't had enough reason to make a will yet, but as and when things get more serious, I will definitely do so, because the inheritance laws here are a bit odd regardless of gender.

Hugs,

Chris

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 7:25pm
Thanks as always SB.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 7:28pm
Hi Annie,

Thanks for your input.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 7:34pm

Hi Blue!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 7:39pm

Hi Chris!

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