Thursday Thoughts......Socializing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thursday Thoughts......Socializing....
24
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 6:15am

Morning Ladies!


I know we all have lots of friends who are are straight and why wouldn't we?

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 2:20am
When K and I make it back to VA, we like to go through NC to Georgia, and we like going to the outer banks. Perhaps we can find a way to meet so you have a couple friends in real life. Pooh lives in NC and there are other members who live in VA whom I can attest are great people! I will let you know when we return and perhaps we can meet up some time.

hugs


halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:10am

"I jumped a woman's car (not sexually, Sebastian lol)" Well, for pete's sake, halo I don't think about sex allllll the time, just the times when I'm horny rofl!!!

I really am happy that you're having a blast in California, I just get this feeling that you're going to move out there.

hugs,

Sebastian




Edited 4/20/2007 9:12 am ET by igentleheart

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:46am

I understand what you’re saying too. *smile*
I was trying to focus on a two-way street mode with my post. I don’t want anyone to accuse me of “just thinking with a lesbian’s view”. *l*
I wasn’t saying your question was tilted one way or another. *smile*

Yours and Annie’s posts made me wonder if maybe we do have a certain view of society/socialization because we’re placed in a category that is not consider as norm. Why do we have a word “gaydar”? Is not like the straight need radar to find each other. It’s taken for granted by them (and us) they’re just out there, even when we stand in front of them. Don’t follow too closely now; I’m trying to lose you. *l*

I also find comfort when I do see a lesbian or gay couples on the street because, just because….
Come to think of it, a question…to everyone…do you notice a lesbian/gay couple more when you’re “being” a couple or when you’re a single gal/boi? I think my viewfinder is foggy when I’m not in a relationship. But for some reason, I seem to “find” them right away, when I’m going out with someone. Do you pick a couple easily or it doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or out of a relationship? Have I lost you yet, are you in a maze now? *L*

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:48am
I vote for a cruise meet and greet in 2009. *L*
On a R Cruise line, maybe? After we get a report back from a certain newlywed. *smile*
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 7:08pm

8-P You didn't lose me! At least not totally LOL


I think the reason we need to have Gaydar at least for now is because we are not accepted by society and often persecuted which is why so many of us are in the closet.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:16pm

I'm ready to be social, it's just that there aren't any places around here and I have other constraints. Straight folks have a "assumed correctness, dominance, or authority" and that is why there are such things as gaydar, etc.

I have been so deep in the closet, I have needed mothball removers, a dust bunny broom, bread crumbs to find my way to the door, and a duracell powered flashlight to guide me. It DOES really feel good cracking the door. I just don't know what to do with myself now-nobody get fresh here!!!!

The DH told me tonight that after all these years, he could read me like a book. What an opportunity I missed. I just smiled. I don't understand why the signs keep getting missed. I will probably have to use a hammer to get my point across when the time is right.

Anyway, I need a place to feel like home and it sure ain't where I'm sittin' now. Philly is too far.

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:26pm

Sounds good to me Halo!!


~Storm

storm-1.jpg

Spring SiggyBlinkie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:56pm

For those that don't know me, and for those that are getting to know me, please just read.

When I did socialize with other lesbians it was in a bar setting. At the time, that's where all of the lesbians could be found. Sometimes, I was invited to hang out or I was invited over to their homes. I wasn't very comfortable for a number of reasons, some of the reasons being, there were couples, one of the partners wasn't comfortable about the fact that her girlfriend found me attractive and was flirting with me. I had to keep a reasonable distance from said partner. Or, the other partner just didn't trust me alone with her girlfriend. So, I just stayed away all together, and I was accused of having a crush on her partner and was secretly calling her. When that wasn't the case at all.

So, I just didn't hang around lesbians period. If you ask me, it was all the "territorial" attitude. But I know it was just all insecurity on behalf of both partners. But it didn't make it any easier, so I was a loner all of the time.

So, today, I just hang around some of the gay men in my church, that way I can be reasonably comfortable and happy. There are two lesbian couples in the church I go to, but one couple shuns me, and I'm respectfully friendly with one lady of the other couple.

So, I look at it this way, no matter where I go, I'm always going to looked upon with great suspicion and mistrust by/from other so called enlightened lesbians.

So, going to a bar and being around other "outcast" lesbians is the safest and the most comfortable place for me to go and socialize.

Thanks,

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 2:06pm
I see your point. But I’m also thinking of a situation where you would go out with a group of your gay&lesbian friends to a restaurant and yet we still have that gaydar up. It didn’t matter when this restaurant is in a well know gay section of the city and the patrons are mostly if not all from the gay community. We still end up with this code of conduct that we all participate because we’re trained to do this from living within the straight community. I wonder if we will ever have our own code of conduct where we just automatically assume she is gay because she is in a gay establishment without thinking if she might be gay first. *yeah, I want to make you read that sentance a couple of time. ;-)* It’s like we trained ourselves to be second-class citizens in our own surroundings/environment too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 2:08pm

I will probably have to use a hammer to get my point across when the time is right.

======

Just make sure you use that hammer only on a nail. *grin*