So...Mom's not happy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
So...Mom's not happy...
42
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 6:03pm

I'll try to make this the Reader's Digest Condensed version, because I know time is valuable.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 7:27pm

Oh, ((((((Storm))))), I am so sorry.
I know that you did not take the decision to tell lightly and hoped for the best.
It is very difficult when somebody is negative like that and it hurts even worse when it is a family member, especially mom. It sounds like she thinks this is like picking tangerines over clementines and we just know that's not the case. I am also sorry that she put it in a letter and did not sit down to speak with you directly. She probably can't bring herself to say it out loud. People can always twist the words in the Bible to make them seem what they are not. Most of us know the little arguements to fire back, but it's tough when it's mom.
YOU know you are not going to burn in hell. Nothing that is borne out of love is a bad thing. Keep moving forward. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Hugs,

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 8:33pm

Storm,

I don't have any wonderful pearls of wisdom to pass on to you in this area, although I wish I did! I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry she is reacting in this way because I know how hard it is. Keep your chin up!

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 1:08am

{{{{{{{{{{Storm}}}}}}}}}} All I can tell you is that you know that you're not alone in this issue. All I can tell you is that you are living your life and that you are doing it with dignity and with respect.

You've already pointed out, that many denominations use the bible for their own purposes, and twists it around to suit their purposes.

You'll be ok, just hang on and keep on venting here.

Hugs,

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 4:17am
**hugs** I'm sorry to hear that your confiding to your mom didn't go as well as you had hoped. You've got a great support group here and I'm sure Lisa is there to support you too.

I hope in time that maybe she'll come to accept your life and you as you are, even if only a bit.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 10:35am
Hi Storm,
I went to Assemblies of God once too. I know what you must be going through. I am sorry it is not going well for now.
Give your mom some time to process this.
I still believe God loves me and I can go to heaven.
I was a born again christian and still feel I am saved but am not perfect.
I went to the church because I was told I was going to die and go to hell so I tried to save myself.
My partner at the time and I went together. We had been together for 8 years. They had us give each other back to God in front of the church.
We still keep in touch but she is still in the church and I am not. She said she has been with other women since then and then back into the church.
I have alot to tell you about the Bible etc. But like you I know to keep it short. Maybe we can post some more little by little.
For now take care and give your mom some time to calm down.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 1:42pm

Hey, I’m sorry your mom is treating you this way.
I’m sorry your mom is a product of her time.
I’m sorry your mom sent you a letter instead of asking to talk with you.
I’m sorry you feel the need to look into the bible (hers, theirs and whose ever) to rebuke her hurtful words. I don’t know how religious you feel. You are not going to hell because you’re a lesbian. Not even when mom tell you so! ((HUGS))

I don’t know if you are her only child or daughter but try to look at it this way. When you told her you’re a lesbian, she lost “her” perception of her daughter. She probably lost that dream she has of planning a big wedding and seeing her daughter walk down that aisle to a guy. She probably thinks she won’t have grandkids now that you’re a lesbian. She probably thinks you end up alone in your old age. You probably heard or read these reasoning but it’s true with most moms that's why they react so hurtful. Don’t beat yourself up over her hang-ups. Don’t start running around thinking you need to find a scripture to disprove something she wrote in her letter. Find a shoulder to cry on/call Lisa and cry on the phone and then burn that letter up and forget about it. You’re still her daughter and she will come around to you. I guarantee you that. I just can’t guarantee when. *encouraging smile* (((HUGE HUGS)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 1:48pm

Storm,

I am sooo sorry your mom reacted the way she did. If she is like most moms shes wondering what "she" did wrong. So...Mom's not happy...but you are right?? You can move past this with the support of people who do understand. Dont forget, if you are destined for spiritual death and eternal damnation...its going to be one hell of a gay fest cause you wont be alone!!! LOL!!!!

Take care,
Daronda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 1:49pm
Laurie, can you and Storm talk about the bible attack? I'm not a christian but I do know the bible is used alot to attack me for who I am. If you and Storm are up to it, I want to know why it's such a useful tool for them and how you are managing to defend against such attack. I know religion is a touchy subject. It's so emotionally charged. Maybe you or other Lesbian Lifer might know of some scriptures that Storm can take comfort in and possible used to defend or educate against her mom?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 2:29pm

Your mother is likely to be very scared - for your soul, her herself - how this might reflect back on her and for you as her daughter.

When you mentioned finding biblical quotes I think that people like to find quotes to suit their purposes but ignore everything else. And there's so much on strange topics and ways that we are all supposed to be living - yet I've never yet come across one person religious or otherwise that lives like that.

So if your mother sends you quotes you could ask her why she isn't living according to the exact words in the Bible.

This of course could lead to much unpleasantness, as you will be directly threatening the beliefs and way of life she has always had, so I don't know if this is going to be the best approach.

I think you'll have to tread carefully.

Best of luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 5:04pm

Thanks Blue,


I was a little surprised that she seemed to think that I simply tossed my hair & chose to fall in love with a woman.

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