SM and D/s relationships

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2007
SM and D/s relationships
13
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 5:59am
I have been dating a woman for 5 months who is involved in the Ds and SM community. She says she is getting bored with that lifestyle and is veering away from it. I am pretty clueless about that community. She doesn't invite me into that part of her life. She has a very dominant personality and responds to me the best when I am passive with her and let her have her way. So, I let her be as bossy as she wants and we got along o.k. Then one day I got really angry with her and became very assertive with her. We immediately had problems after that. In fact, the only time we've ever had problems was when I became overtly assertive with her. She has since ended the relationship. I am feeling big time grief over the loss of her. But part of me thinks that the whole D/s thing has clouded her idea of healthy relationships. She always told me that D/s people know how to communicate more effectively than any other group. She appreciates their openess about sex and their clarity about setting limits. I think that is a profoundly intriguing idea, but I still don't quite buy it. Vanilla love and vanilla sex is quite nice too . . . ? I don't really know how to take all of this. Maybe there truly is such a thing as different styles of loving, and one has to be hip to that?


Edited 5/3/2007 6:17 am ET by cubakat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 1:48am
Ohhhh Ok Sebastian.. Thanks (((((Hon)))))


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 3:50am

Eastie, you're such a brat!!


Look at Sebastian, he knows the details about those relationships. I know I don't.


and kink... well, doesn't everyone play at kink to some degree?


*laffin*

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 3:57am

Vanilla, to me, exists only back in my previous life.


I would define it as missionary position sex, where the big O never happens and I'm left to examine the ceiling or think of how to redecorate the room to avoid falling asleep. LOL LOL LOL


Hi's back to both you & ~S~ and ((((((((((many many hugs))))))))



 

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