QOTW for May 7th

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
QOTW for May 7th
23
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 6:52am

Morning ALL!


Well my questions are always topical with what is going on in my Life and since Mother's Day is also this week, I thought talking about families seemed relevant.


Ok my back story.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2001
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 11:57am
Oooooh, this is such





 




Avatar for why1040
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 12:46pm

How well do you get along with your Family (as in Parents and Siblings)? Has it always been that way? Does it flucuate? How do you keep the peace? .....

Ooooo this is such an interesting question!
I get on fine with my brother, though he's a bit distant now he's all grown up. We don't live all that far from each other really, but rarely seem to get to see each other just the two of us. We have extremely different lifestyles though, so I guess that's part of it. We were always extremely close as small children, despite the 4 1/2 year age gap...we kind of had to be, with all the moving we did! But then with the last move over here, he went very anti everything for a while, and partly blamed me for the move because I was very for it, and that got between us. Saying that, we'd been growing apart before that, because he was very popular at his school and I was extremely unpopular and shy.

My father was just plain not around much. Love him to bits, and always was a bit of a daddy's girl, but it's hard when he's not in the country.

My mother...oh dear...she's lovely, don't get me wrong, and I love her dearly, but she's not the easiest woman to deal with! She is NOT someone you go to with problems or issues-this i figured out when i was 4. We wind each other up a lot because we're very similar temperament wise but have TOTALLY different values in life!

Keeping the peace I'm not great at, though we don't really need it a lot. This is not a volatile family-in fact, i wonder sometimes if the fact that it's such a non-volatile family is why I've tended towards a more passive-aggressive style of conflict resolution in the past. Working on that though!

Gentle hugs,

Chris

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 2:49pm
Good question!

Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 3:26pm

"How well do you get along with your Family (as in Parents and Siblings)? Has it always been that way? Does it flucuate? How do you keep the peace? .....


Neither of my parents are living, but I do get along wonderfully well with my sister.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 3:36pm

I am blessed to have wonderful parents. They are accepting and loving. I have felt loved all my life. We have our moments and they were pretty strict when I was growing up, but I really can't complain. I also have a wonderful aunt and uncle who have accepted my new life. They are VERY, VERY conservative and I was unsure of how they would react, but they have said they still love me and Caly and I are welcome in their home.


Except for some other extended family members I never talk to, that's my family in a nutshell. It's pretty small.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 7:08pm

Good question, woman!

I have always gotten along with my parents. I was extremely distressed when my dad left my mom for another woman, but I have pretty much gotten over that. Well, at least as well as can be expected. I love my mom to bits, but she can be tough. When I was younger and I visited with my kids, she would always find time in the two weeks to make me cry. I will also say that she asked if I was gay when I was younger and I denied it. If she called tonight and asked, I would tell her the truth.

I am the oldest, some of you could probably tell, of four. My brothers were coming of age when I was in college and then out of the house, so something has been lost there. I love them dearly, but we only talk maybe once a month. Love both their wives, who stay out of my business. My sister on the other hand is my cross to bear. She has a jealous streak(although there is nothing to be jealous of) a mile wide and gets her digs and little snide remarks in whenever we are together. She upset me so much last summer, that I will no longer travel with her on our mother-daughters excursions. You know, however, that if she was dying, I would be there in a flash. It's family, after all.

DH's family-the brother in law is gay, but he tells me that blood is thicker than water or gayness, I guess, so don't expect any support from him. The other brother in law is an exMarine, and is one of the don't ask, don't tell, rid the planet of us, if you get the chance. Or maybe he would just like to save my soul. :)

All in all, we are a very functioning, dysfunctional family!! Gotta love it.

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2002
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 7:28pm

Hi Caly....Well my parents are deceased and have been for many years. I have two older brothers that I get along well with but we don't live close together at all....opposite ends of the country. If we lived closer though we would get along great....we are all pretty easy going people as well as all our spouses.


Sandra

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 8:09pm

Thanks to all who have replied so far.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 9:21pm

Oh, ((((Caly))), families can be so tough sometimes. I cannot imagine what prompted him to write a letter like that. I would think that your mom must have said something to him and he feels like he needs to put you in your place. It seemed so good, too. You and Ting were so full of happiness, or at least safisfaction with you visit, that this must have come like a bolt out of the blue.
YOU know that this pain will pass and you may never have any real explanation for this behavior. Would you be comfortable calling him, since you seem to be, or thought you were, closer now? The problem with that is you don't really know what to expect. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst is always the scenario. The emotional pain might not be worth the call, but at least you would have some idea where this came from and be able to go in some direction.
I'm sending good vibes your way.

Bunches of hugs.

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 6:36am

Thanks Blue,


To be honest, I am 'over' my family.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

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