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| Mon, 05-07-2007 - 10:08pm |
Hi Ladies,
I have just started checking out this board and I have been surprised to see that there are so many other women out there that are just like me! I am married and have one child. I was actually looking out for a woman to date when I met my to-be-husband. I had no intention of having any type of serious relationship with him and, looking back, am not sure why I was dating him...I already knew that I preferred being with a woman even though I had never had the opportunity to have a formal relationship in that way. Anyway, I was clumsy and got pregnant We (he?) made the decision to be a couple and raise our child together. Three years later, we got married. There was no deep romance involved...I think we did it more for convenience. Now...I am really feeling out of place and every day I think about how it would be if I could be free of this commitment and find that girlfriend that I have always wanted. My husband knows that I am (was?) bisexual, but he has no clue just how much I have lost my attraction to men. At this point, I really believe that I am absolutely gay. I have no idea what to do. So...it is nice to be able to come here and know that I am not alone.
Thanks!!
blues

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I did not make it there this morning.
Today was the first day I missed going to the park in two weeks, but laundry called.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
That is so cool. I have done a number of battles in local parks. Lots of times, our officers pick battles that have nothing to do with where we are, and we do troop movements and engage each other showing how the battle was for the public.
For the big ones, Gettysburg, Antietam, Sharpsburg, etc., there are scripted events and they hand out brochures that tell the public what battle will be fought at what time.
The best time is at 5am when we muster and have our own battles in the dark. No scripts, no maneuvers, just hell raising fun in the dark. We take prisoners, plan ambushes, and do mock battles. Since I am a signalist, we also do night signaling with torches. Anyhow, it's certainly not like the real thing, but it gets pretty rowdy. Sometimes the events last 4 or 5 days and the wool uniforms get gamey, food sucks (most military food does, I guess), we get so smelly that I try to stand in the smoke from the campfire, so I get that smell all over me. I use an A tent, but there are the guys that we call "campaigners" and they just drop and sleep wherever they are.
Some day I will show you all my gear and acoutrements. Fire the musket, etc.
Blue
ps..laundry is in as I write!
Although I can bait my own fish hook, I don't like things crawling on me.
I would love to see all your things as I am a civil war nut.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
There are no bottoms to the A tents. One time, I can't remember where, we had an infestation of baby and adult crickets EVERYWHERE. They were hopping all over and making an ungodly racket all night. I was always a little leary of snakes, but I never saw one anywhere in my unit or my regiment. My son tried campaigning, but didn't like it.
I know you are a Civil War nut, that's why I am sharing this stuff. I need to get back to it. With trying to advancce in umping, I have had to give up weekend re-encactmenats. We have Civil War day at school in June, and I get to talk about what it is like to be a re-enactor as a woman, and what I have to do to fit in. I used to do "Life of the Soldier," but a Federal unit does that now.
I came out last week to my friend who got me into re-enacting and she was cool about it. They ironic thing is that everybody thought that she was a lesbian and I was straight, but it's the other way around! She got married last January and here I am trying to be a little butterfly coming out of my cocoon or cysalis or whatever butterflies come out of.
I'm impressed that you can bait your own hook. Can you take the fish off, if you happen to catch one, or is it too slimy? Is that why you chose the Navy, so creepy, crawly things would be at a minimum? lol :)
Maybe one day you would be at a re-enactment I was at or you would like to try. I've got spare uniforms and everything. I cannot remember where you guys live, but you never know.
Hugs
Blue
I think it is cool that you get to talk to the school about it too.
I do take the fish off the hook, but I use special fishing gloves for that to protect the fish. They have a coating on them. We also throw them back. I know it is strange to worry about them while fishing for them. I do eat them sometimes too.
I would have to cheat and bring a bottom of some sort for an A tent. I don't think I could sleep right on the ground. Good thing I was in the navy. I actually joined because my cousin dared me to. I had one cousin in the marines and one in the navy. There was nothing else to really do in Youngstown, so, I wanted a way out. The navy was it for me. I went to school and lived like a queen the whole time. We are always staioned by the ocean, so I was very spoiled! Especially while living in Spain for 4 years.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Thanks Blue...
course, when my head's as big as a house, the finger of blame will be pointing directly at YOU!
(sincerely tho,
Leafy, in all fairness, I don't think he originally set out to turn them against me.
Both kids were in their teens and more than willing to use the divorce to try and get the most out of each parent that they could. He was bitter and we couldn't often talk properly or constructively. He gave in to the kids on things I KNEW he shouldn't (eg; a car for the son who never did homework and skipped all the time)
They were living with me then, had
God, Spain! That sounds so awesome. I have always wanted to go and just live somewhere else for an extended period of time to get used to the culture. I am going to try and fill out some of the forms for teaching abroad. Every time I do one, I chicken out and don't send it. Sounds like you had a great navy life. You joined on a dare??? You made a life decision on a dare! Wow, that takes lots of guts.
We don't sleep on the ground! We use air mattress and sleeping bags under old quilts so it looks like we are sleeping on the ground. We keep our coolers by the sides of our tents covered with canvas, so they look like old boxes. You can buy replicas of boxes that have writing on them for hardtack, but mostly we keep our dry goods and some equipment in them. After I posted last night I started trying on my uniforms to see if they fit. Yep
Hugs
Blue
So, he dared me to join the navy like he did. When he said that I probably would not pass bootcamp, I had to prove him wrong. lol.
He was doing me a favor and he new it. He knew how to push my buttons too. We three cousins went all through school together in the same grade and same school then in the military.
We have a military family all the way back to the revolutionary war and civil war. I have photos of my great great etc, grandfather in the civil war.
My great grandmother was a DAR Daughter of the American Revolutionary War. They were named Torrance. Same with the civil war family. So I guess it is in our blood. My Aunt was a nurse in the Navy in WWII. She met my uncle then who was a marine and was wounded.
My dad was also in WWII.
Now I could sleep on an air mattress. That would be nice. I am glad the uniform still fits you. I bet you look so cool in it!
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
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