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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
Help
8
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 12:05am
Hi, I am new here but I really need some advice. I am 43 years old and I am confused about my sexuality. Crazy I know at this age. I have always been attracted to women. I ended up getting into a bad marriage with a verbaly abusive man. I grew up in a very repressed kind of home, the kind where they tell you that homosexuals go to hell. I really would like to try a relationship with a woman but I am afraid. Am I stupid?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: jodycat1032
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 12:21am
Welcome to the board jody.
No you are not stupid!
There are many here going through what you are or have been through it before.
I am sure you will hear from people like you here soon.
what are your fears?
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: jodycat1032
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 12:25am
Welcome Jody.. No You are Not... Stupid.. Just as You said... afraid,, Now to admit what You are afraid of..*Smiles~


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
In reply to: jodycat1032
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 1:58am

Wlecome to the board!

All I have to say is this: Better late than never!

That being said, follow your heart and try your best to be happy. If that happiness means living as a lesbian, then give it a shot. The worse that can happen is you find out your not gay.

hugs


halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
In reply to: jodycat1032
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 6:58am

Hi Jody!

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
In reply to: jodycat1032
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:44am
hi jody and no you are not stupid. you are just being honest with your thoughts and feelings..i would find my self agay woman whom i'm attracted to and date her while i'm still marriedand see waht happens ..Do you still love him? if you don't i would leave him anyway cuz, of the abuse..you shouldn't have to put up with it..
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
In reply to: jodycat1032
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 9:16am

Twomoods,


I am having a hard time with the idea that it would be ok for any woman to explore being with other women while still married without her husband knowing. Now, if she has told her husband how she feels and he's ok with it, that's one thing. But, I can't get on board with the idea of her doing it on the sly. This is a VERY, VERY serious thing. Affairs can cause messy, messy divorces, especially when kids are involved, and it is not fair to anyone.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
In reply to: jodycat1032
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 9:19am

Welcome, Jody! It's great to have you here.


Are you still married? If not, then I say go for it. I know it feels scary, but once you get over the awkwardness of putting yourself out there in the community, you will probably feel totally at home. It's never to late to go after what will make you happy. We only get one chance, right?


Hope you'll stick around and post with us!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
In reply to: jodycat1032
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 11:31am

You're definitely not crazy or stupid, and you definitely are not alone. It's very common for women to live many years in a straight, married relationship before coming to terms with their sexual orientation. You'll soon see that many of the wonderful women on this board fit that description as well.

I think there are two issues going on here. (1) your sexual orientation and (2) your abusive marriage.

If you are still married (your post is unclear on that), I think you need to get out. Regardless of your sexual orientation, no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. You deserve much better. And I definitely would not stay with him and start an affair. That has disaster written all over it.

If you are divorced (or once you are divorced) start getting to know yourself better. See what and who you are attracted to. Have an open mind. Start meeting other lesbians (for friendship first, romance will come later) and see if you relate to them. If you really are a lesbian, it will be a freeing feeling for you to finally find others like you.




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