Thursday Thoughts......The Family Factor

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thursday Thoughts......The Family Factor
36
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 7:06am

greetings2.jpgThank you to ALL who offered suggestions for our T.T. Thread.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:21am

How many of you have another Family member or Close Relative that is Gay? Did it make it easier to come out? Are you close to them because of it? Do you suspect anyone in your circle is homosexual but hasn't come out yet?

i think my cousin tony might be gay but he hasn't said anythinhg or come out..Of course this is just my thoughts..we aren'r that close for me to ask him..i also think that afew ppl that i work with might be gay..i know i ain't the only one in the state that is..

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:34am

Good question -- I've been discussing this a lot lately.

My parents divorced when I was very young, so young that I barely remember my father (who died while I was in high school) and never met any of his family. I was raised by my mother and a maternal aunt and uncle. Growing up, I knew no one who was gay. We had no family members who openly gay or who I even suspected to be gay. As an adult, after I came out, I often wondered about this because so many of my gay/lesbian friends had glbt family members. I wondered if some of my family members were gay but deeply closeted and/or living in denial or if I really was the only one.

Then about two months ago, I got a message via my myspace profile from a long-lost cousin on my dads side. (Well, I guess I'm the long-lost cousin, technically.) Even though I had never known any of their names or anything about them, they knew a lot about me from my dad. And apparently they had been looking for me for some time and finally stumbled across my myspace page. So in the last month or so, I've been reunited (or just "united", I guess) with tons of aunts, uncles and cousins...including one first cousin who is also a lesbian and lives with her partner. I also have at least one other first cousin who is still in high school and not out yet, but Jamie and I both strongly suspect she's a lesbian as well. If she is, hopefully coming out will be easier for her since she has two openly-lesbian cousins.

Having a gay relative obviously didn't make it any easier for me to come out since I was already out when I met her. And my myspace profile clearly states than I'm a lesbian and live with my partner and has photos of us together, so by the time that side of my family contacted me, they already knew I was openly gay. But it has been somewhat validating or at the very least interesting.




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2007
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:43am
good morning Caly,
I had an uncle that was gay. He was the greatest guy, unfortunately he passed away of AIDS about 15 years ago. Definitely missed! I think that may be why I do not worry about telling my family. They are very open about things. Why should it matter what your preference is? What matters more is what kind of person you are. My dad, though will be a little trickier(my parents are divorced) to tell.
Also,not sure if this qualifies, but my sister in law came out recently to my brother. I always suspected she could be but never questioned it. She was married. As I go along though I am finding out how common this really is. Anyway you look at it divorce is never a good thing but I know she would be for there for me and vice versa.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2007
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 3:37pm
No one on either side of my family seems to be gay... It's weird because I have lots and lots of cousins and second cousins. Apparently I'm the only one... Most of my family on my mom's side is very open-minded, though, and apparently they knew I was gay before I even knew what the word meant. They're all ok with it. But my dad's side of the family is an old-fashioned/farming family so I'm not sure I will tell them. I don't really see them very often or talk to them much so it shouldn't be a problem. But if I meet the right one, who knows? :D
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:03pm

i know i ain't the only one in the state that is..


LOL I can pretty much garantee you on that one! Thanks for sharing!

*Hugs


Caly.jpgpentagram

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:09pm

That is interesting Annie,


I have a cousin who is gay.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:18pm

Hi Mich,


I am so very sorry about your uncle.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:27pm

Hey, Caly, good thread.

When I was little we used to go to Canada to visit my father's family at New Years. My cousin was always there with her friend. Nobody said anything in front of us and I have no idea what the adult conversation was. I finally figured it out when I was about 25, but I really wish they would have been more up front with me when I was younger, then maybe I wouldn't have had to go through this whole life like this. NOT that this has been bad, but maybe I would have felt freer about making my choices.

My brother in law came out to me years ago and I was the first in the familly. Did he know something or what? In recent conversations, he claims to be more asexual, but my friends have their "gaydar" working and say that he is definitely gay. Funny, that old gaydar isn't working with me. LOL

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:45pm

Hey Jam!

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:53pm

Hey Blue, I will never figure that Gaydar stuff out either.


My family was very much a 'not talk about anything' either kind of family.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

Pages