What the ?????
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| Sat, 05-12-2007 - 6:52pm |
Okay...by now everybody knows what my situation is. Well, this morning my husband was trying to play around with me and get me to have sex and I was absolutely not game. He was in a really good mood and I felt like I could open up to him today, so I started telling him that the new method of birth control wasn't working (we made a decision that I would go off hormonal birth control to make sure that it wasn't interfering with my libido as mentioned in a previous post) and that whenever I thought of sex, all I could think about was having sex with women. I even admitted to him that though I had the best husband a woman could possibly ask for, I had to make myself wanna have sex with him. I got upset trying to tell him about it. I told him that I felt like a creep. He said, "you're not a creep, you're just a lesbian." He asked me what I was going to do. I said, "I'm not sure yet, what are YOU going to do?" I told him that I'm not a good wife and that he needed someone that would be better for him. He joked about trading me in for a newer, shinier model (I am several years older than him). I said that she didn't have to be newer, but she could be someone that appreciated his manliness. But then he said that he was right where he wanted to be. Huh?????!!!!!! I said, "How can you say that? How could you want to be with a woman that only wants to have sex with other women?" He started saying (joking?) that I could get a girlfriend and that she could just live with us. I said, "No woman is going to want to do that!" He said that he didn't mean to BE with me AND him...just to be with me. He even said that he could move into the guest room, but that he really like the master room better because it has a bathroom. And that then our daughter could have 2 mommies and how funny it would be that the second mommy would not be daddy's new wife, but mommy's new girlfriend *looking up to the ceiling like I must be in the flippin' twilight zone* Anyway...I said, well, don't you want to find a new girlfriend. And he just joked about how between the four of us, maybe we could remember all of the things we were supposed to send to school with our daughter and whatever like that. It's like it was just a joke. But, then he said that he had to get to work and that he hated to leave during the conversation, but that we would talk about it later. So...you know...I was feeling better about the situation. Then, this afternoon, he's talking about future plans and all that for the coming years just like his wife didn't just tell him that she doesn't want to have sex with him because she is gay. I have no clue what just happened here!!!???? Can I scream now? At least it's a baby step in the direction I'm trying to go in, I guess. *sigh*
-leaf

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But you can be a woman who is like a man too I do not want to confuse anyone anymore...
We can let it go my friend...
Did I hit a nerve? I am sorry.
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Nope, you didn't hit a nerve, but I thought you would think that you did. :) It's just to hard to explain the whole PE teacher thing from the past and the stereotyping and the innuendos, and the looks. I guess the funny thing is that when I think about it, I must be the stereotype, just not very butch as those stereotypes went back then. Sometimes when folks ask me what I teach(like when I am umping, playing volleyball, softball, frisbee) I say "advanced molecular biology in middle school. Like there's such a thing...I don't want any preconcieved expectations of what to expect from the "gym teacher." I'm not good at all sports. Sometimes I think women won't play with me if they know what I teach or will expect too much.
You read me real well for not knowing me or knowing what I even look like. It IS just ammo for later, but I never want to use it...unless.... anyhow.
I am nothing like a man, well, I dunno, I pass pretty good on the battlefield, except for my two girls here, who just won't stay put when I run. lol I have a devil of a time concealing them. But other times, in other situations, hello, they're right out front.. sort of a meet and greet. hehehe.
I'm also pretty small, at least people tell me I am.
I have rambled on way too much for me. Everything is cool.
No worries.
Hugs
Blue
Okay, I have reread my last post to you and I am not at all happy with the way that it sounds, but I can't make it sound like I want it to. I don't want to offend anybody with tone that is not there or words that might not be taken right. This type of communicaiton can sometimes be difficult.
Ya'll know me out there. I am too new at this to always make sense and I just want everybody to be happy. Somebody must be shaking their head and saying, "she has no clue" and you'd probably be right. Or did I make sense?
Anyway, this discussion is best done over a bottle of vodka, rum, or southern comfort(or whatever you want) on the veranda with cool tropical breezes and no worries. Then the discussion can heat up. :)
Hugs
Blue
Well as the other ladies have said, sounds like serious denial to me.
Small world!
Glad things are cool I hear you on the gym teacher thing.
Hugs,
Laurie
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I thought you explained it well.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
I'm not at all surprised by what you just posted. I believe yours has always been a marriage of convenience between you and him. I'm also sure what you told him wasn't a surprise to him.
Listen now carefully...........never trust him totally. When things aren't going his way he can use what you told him against you. You are treading on thin ice here. Seek out counseling and find out you rights. I lived through this night mare with my ex and nothing good came from his want to be accepting of my life style. He was afraid to be left alone and that's all. He wanted to dictate the rules to me, He also didn't want to lose my income.
Funny thing is that 10 years after our divorce he sent me a letter asking if he and his wife could move in with me. He wanted to share the house so he could be close to his kids. Reality is that he lost his job and her job at the seven-11 was not going to support him. If he moved in I would be footing the bill for everyone.
Additional point of skepticism is that most men dream about their wife's being with another woman. That would be his dream come true. Or, he's gay himself. Tread softly, that's all........
hugs
halo
hugs
halo
Wow, Leaf, I agree with Blue that this was a big step even though you didn't get quite the reaction from your DH that you wanted. Sounds to me like he is not taking you seriously enough, and I guess that would probably be the best next step to take - tell him that you don't want several relationships in the same household, you want one with a woman only. THAT will take a lot of courage and strength, but I think you'll have to get to that point to make him see what's really going on with you.
I agree with Halo - tread very, very carefully, especially since you have a child involved. When it finally sinks in that you really don't want to be with him, it could get messy.
And I agree with Jo that counseling for you individually and for you as a couple would be a good thing. Having someone to support you and help you put things in perspective is very important in times like these.
Take care and glad you seized the opportunity to at least get a discussion going.
Hugs
Yeah, it's a blast being a "physical education specialist." Hehe It's weird that core subject teachers tend to look down on us, but when they are asked to cover my class, they cannot do it because they just don't feel capable. I easily step into the classroom and do their jobs. Gives me great secret pleasure to be able to do their job when they can't do mine. It's not about "throw out the balls and let them play." Right now we have high and low ropes up in the gym and a six station climbing wall. Well, enough about my love for my job.
I kind of liked my PE teacher, also, but I was going to be an English teacher. Life altering moments, ya know.......
I'm glad I made sense to you, sometimes I am not at all clear where my heart is.
Thanks for listening.
Hugs
Blue
My web pages
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